Yes, I should be saying this to myself.
Only one more month left until the End-of-Semester exams. And yet I am still not really feeling the sense of urgency yet. Well, maybe yes, but I only just caught onto the exam fever this past few days.
For the entire weekend, I didn't do much revision at all. Friday night, I watched American Idol- and slept early because I was too tired ( read: hardly sleeping the night b4 due to PBL). Saturday morning, I went to Cell Group @ Laverne's place ( and went to have Dim Sum after that), Saturday night, I went to the 'Sold Out' concert at ECF church (which was great, btw. I loved the songs they sang, and my favourite parts were when the children went up the stage, and when they showed the video of the Orang Asli). Sunday, went to church as usual and walked to Carrefour in the evening.
Each time I returned home, I would be too tired to do anything else except.....rest and sleep. Omg, I am so disappointed in myself. I currently don't have the motivation to study at all. Everytime I have my notes in front of me, my eyes would feel droopy and I would end up taking a nap or just sleeping the night away. What is wrong with me? :(
Today, I finally felt that yes....it is crunch time for revision. When I walked into the MMS (medical musuem) this morning, and saw a few of my batchmates camping in front of the models with their notes, it finally hit me.....I have to really start studying hard......I mean really hard for the upcoming EOS!!
I have to admit that I am becoming a bit weary. Going to Cell Group and church is becoming almost like a routine- I practically had to drag myself out of bed on Sunday morning to go to church. I felt like I should be spending time at home doing my revision. Is there anything wrong with me? Maybe I need some 'Time Out'. I need time at home to rest and really spend personal time with God, instead of rushing from this place to the next- listening to worship songs and sermons about Him. The sermons I listen to all contain a message which I already know and am familiar to- they no longer have any impact on me. Maybe what I really need is a personal encounter with God myself....a personal experience with Him, which makes Him real and making my journey with Him more refreshing. I don't want to 'Burn out'- a phenomenon we were discussing about in CG today- and making everything lose its actual meaning.
Also, I seem to have this weary and dreary feeling in my heart almost every day lately. It's as if there is a burden in my heart which I cannot point out. t's weird.....I feel totally fine....everything is going on ok in my life right now ( except for my lack of discipline in revision, haha). So I really don't know where this feeling comes from. I, being the person I am- worry about the tiniest stuff- like saying something that would make ppl unhappy with me ( oh yes- that is my main concern!), worry that people are judging me and don't like what they discover about me and so on.
I don't know. Maybe what I really need is just some 'Time Out!'
3 comments:
1 month away from eos? that is not very long ade... u better buck up oh, girl!
dont put too much presure on urself, or u wont be able to perform on that day...
well i cant comment anything on the 'burn out' thingy since im not christian.
just rmb, when there's a will, there's a way.
and i totally understand when u say that sometimes we just feel weary/dreary for no reason. i get that sometimes. well just hvta deal with it. maybe hang out with some frenz and let them make u laugh? ^^
as i alwiz say, GAMBATE!
Ailing, I understand how you feel. I think that we should all buck up and remind each other to persevere. For instance, I was so piggy that I slept in so late.. thank God for Ed who called to wake me up to study. Such lovely sis-in-Christ I have. I suggest that you study before going out.. cos if you plan to study AFTER coming back, usually tak jadi cos very tired. Try waking up a bit earlier to study.. I am struggling too.. but let us encourage each other. :D
Zi Yun- yeah I better buck up!! Well actually the 'burn out' I was referring to in my entry does not only refer to Christians but also non-Christians. We can 'burn out' when we take on too many things at one time and make ourselves too busy. Thanks for your advice! :D
Lynn Xuan- thanks for your advice too! :) Thanks so much for accompanying me to the Pasar Malam just now, and waiting patiently for us even though you initially wanted to go earlier. Yeah, let's encourage each other!!
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