Post-EOS celebrations

WHEEEEE!!!!!! The exams are finally over.

Whee!!!!!!!!! First year of medicine over ( well , almost except for electives and rotation posting). And provided I don't have to resit. *crosses fingers*

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No more having to remember the different layers of the epidermis and the different types of connective tissue in the body.

No more having to remember about beta-oxidation and fatty acid synthesis and Krebs cycle and glycolysis and gluconeogenis.

No more having to remember the various structures of the bones and the different types of bones. No more having to remember the different muscles and how muscles contract.

No more having to remember the different types of blood cells.

No more having to remember the different types of immunoglobulins and T-lymphocytes.

No more having to remember words such as Plasmodium falciparum, Taenia Saginata, Toxoplasma Gondii, Leishmaniasis, Cryptosporum parvum, Giardia Lambdia, Blastocystis Hominis, and Clonorchis sinensis and getting those words stuck in my head as a result.

No more having to remember about acute and chronic inflammation, the different stages of healing and repair, the different types of necrosis and the different types of neoplasm.

No more having to remember the names of cholinergic and nicotinic receptor agonists and antagonists. No more having to remember the names of adrenergic agonists and antagonists.

Well, of course I still have to remember all these things for the rest of my life ( or my medical career at least) but finally I can afford to push these stuff temporarily out of my mind.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

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Watched 'Pirates of the Carribean.'
Went shopping.
Bought my first Sophie Kinsella book...'.Confessions of a Shopaholic.'
Went bowling and discovered that my bowling really sucks big time.
Went Karoake-ing.
Went to dine at Sushi King.

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Oh ya.....the exams.....

SAQ ( Short answer Question) segment was HORRIBLE for me. I left out a lot of questions. Some....I was very sure I came across before....but the answers just simply can't come out. A couple of questions....I couldn't answer them because I left out on reading the notes. Meh :/

MCQ was fine. OSPE was much better than SAQ.

So.....the waiting game begins. Results will be out on 7th June. Now it's all out of my hands, and all I can do is wait. And leave it all up to Him.



p.s. Thank you guys for coming over to my house the night before the exams to pray for me :) Really appreciate it. Appreciated the exam tips, especially the one on not pondering on one question for too long because time is limited. Thanks for others for endless support and encouragement! Is was indeed a really stressful time for me.

p.p.s. Going back to Kuching tomorrow! My flight was delayed to late at night....heh. Now, it's finally the LONG holidays.....I can't recall the last time I had a longer-than-one-week holiday!

p.p.p.s. Learnt that I am actually going to get paid for my elective in 'The Star'. Omg, me earning money for the first time!! Ok, now, don't get excited Ailing.....you have to pass your EOS first. Hmmph...

And now....enjoy the pics below!!



Me, Fang Han, Li Cin and Yen Bee



Chong Bing, Yen Bee, me, Fang Han and Ramzi at the Bowling Alley in Times Square


Housemate Fang Han cutting her birthday cake....her birthday is coming soon, and we celebrated it earlier for her, because we are all breaking up for the holidays

Help!!!!!!

I'm dying.

I'm drowning.

I'm on the verge of insanity.

Here's my routine ever since I returned to IMU.

And yet my progress isn't great.


Wake up
Go to library to study
lunch
back to library to study
MMS
dinner
library to study
back home, rest
shower
study

Next Tuesday evening simply wouldn't come fast enough :(

I HATE EXAMS!!!!!!!!!

Omg, I am so gonna fail :( Other people have finished their revision already. I haven't. It's all my fault, again. Despite the fact that I have studied so hard for the past few weeks.

ARRRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Take the time to ask yourself.......

Hmm.....I have so many things in my mind right now.....so many things to vent out about....but now that I am properly sitted right in front of my laptop......I don't know what to write about......
Actually....no....once I get my 'writers' mode set.... nothing can stop me, hah.

Went for a proper MMS revision visit for the very first time today. Am trying to block off the fact that almost the entire class has already been there at least a couple of times for the past couple of weeks...while I was still basking in the luxury of home. Lot's of catching up to do, man! So many models to see.....so many slides to study. (Question: Do we really have to remember every single label on every single model? Because that's near impossible to do so.) Hmm....studying those models can be very straining and tiring for our poor eyes! I had difficulty in locating the numbers labelled on the model at times. At other times, I had trouble locating the model corresponding to the paper which I was holding.

But it wasn't bad at all a progress for me today. Managed to look through quite a few models. Omg....the brain models.....there were segments of the brain models scattered around the entire table......sort of like people selling brains at a wet market or something..... Well, I have seen real human brains before, so those are like nothing.....:P

Ok...now let's get to my rant...... I AM SO FED UP OF STUDYING. SO SIEN. Call me a lazy bum, I don't care. Try struggling with your studies for a whole 3 years.....and then starting all over again from square one with a brand new course and knowing that you have 4 more years of slogging to go through. Endless studying. I feel like I am born in this world to study, that I spend my entire lifetime studying. Not to mention when you've spent your entire childhood studying and being a nerd while other children are happily playing with each other.

No one will understand. No one. People will just brush it off by saying that it's a fact of life, we all have to study, whether we like it or not. Try struggling with your studies for 3 years doing something that you do not like at all....and having more than half your supposedly long summer holidays spent on studying for resits. And then failing all the time.

Why did I ever take up Neuroscience in the first place? That is the question that I get all the time. Com'on....when it was suggested to me, I didn't even have an inkling what it was about and what I was getting myself into. I certainly didn't want to do Pharmacy....memorizing drug names is not exactly my cup of tea. And it still isn't. I was supposed to do medicine....but none of the 4 UK universities I applied to accepted me. I don't know why. It can't have been something to do with my results....because my actual IB results were fine. And I was too egoistic then to consider doing medicine back home in Malaysia.

Anyways.....now that it's over and done with....and I have a certificate which I can now frame up as a decoration on the wall......now what? I can't get a job simply by earning a BSc in Neuroscience. I have to continue Masters and PhD. No way. My loathe for Neuroscience has grown so much that I can't imagine tolerating yet another year of it.

So medicine is the other alternative. Because I had no other options other than either continuing with Neuroscience or doing medicine instead. According to my mum. Because there are no other courses offered in universities throughout the world except these 2 courses. (/sarcasm).
Because courses such as journalism or writing or accountancy are not heard of in this part of the world, or at least in this country. Because in this hierachial Asian society....the only jobs available for our young people are doctors, pharmacists and lawyers. And accountancy for those not so brilliant ones. The Arts are never appreciated in this part of the world. Which is why we are lacking in creative young minds. Seriously. Imagine yourself telling your parents one day that you want to become a singer, writer, artist, composer, director,TV presenter......and just imagine their immediate reactions. You'll get what I mean.

Did I manage to get my point across? Yeah....I still don't know why I agreed on doing medicine. All I remember was my mum pleading to me on the phone and telling me that it is my chance to prove to others that I can do it. Prove? Prove what? That I still can become a doctor even though I am trapped in a petite body? Prove that I still can become someone successful despite suffering from Turner's Syndrome? Taking up medicine to fulfill my obligations to my loved ones and to the society and to the country?

Is life supposed to be like this? Living for others......living up to others expectations? Can I possibly make everyone happy all the time? Because all my life, I have tried desperately to make others happy. Sometimes maybe I try too hard. But of course no one knows, no one appreciates it. They think that it is something that I am obliged to do.

I wonder sometimes.....why it is that so many people want to become doctors? Because it is a noble profession. We get to help others....even at our own expense. Noble. yeah. Hats off to you for actually putting others first, and willing to sacrifice everything you have to help strangers.
Because my actual ambition is actually to just have a stable job, enough to let me and my family lead a comfortable life. My ambition has never been to work around the clock without rest and then getting paid a meager wage.
For those of you who want to become doctors because you want to get rich......I'm sorry but you have taken the wrong course. Venture into business instead.....you'll earn much more money that way. I'm serious.

No.....don't get me wrong. I am CERTAINLY NOT implying that I want to quit medical school. (Well, unless I get kicked out, that's an entirely different story altogther, hah). I'm still fighting this fight. I still can tolerate the stress of doing medicine. I just want all you medic students to take the time to ask yourselves.....why did you want to take up medicine in the first place? What or who made you do medicine? Why do you want to become a doctor? If it is for noble intentions....such as helping others....well then good for you =)
I know myself that when I have children in the future.....I am going to let them do whatever they want. Because there are so many job opportunities waiting for them out there....so many other options to be explored.


p.s. I am feeling lonely :( Just this feeling of solitude that is so integral to me ever since my childhood years. Guess a habit of solitude from young can last for a lifetime.

Bring on the pressure, baby!!!

Right.....so I am now back in KL after 2 weeks of study break in Kuching.

These past 2 weeks have been......relaxing and not so relaxing. Relaxing in that I didn't have to face the pressure of seeing my housemates and batchmates study....( yes I seriously crack very easily under pressure, moreso when I see others studying like mad). Back at home, I didn't have to see others studying....I just concentrate on doing my own thing at my own pace. And guess what? It actually works! I revise everyday at a steady pace....although I wish I could go faster at times, but maybe I've reached my limit. Let me let you into a secret......I concentrate the best at night....where there are no distractions at all. That's when I can study non-stop.....lol. So let's just say that the majority of my time spent revising is... at the middle of the night, when everyone else is sleeping. Yeah.
But the mental torment of studying still persists though. I have this habit of sitting in front of the TV with my notes for about an hour or so every evening. I still manage to study during that time, but I always end up feeling guilty about it, lol.
Plus- I still had the time to go out for dinners.......Mother's Day dinner at Pizza Hut, meeting up with my cousin from Sibu....attending a wedding of a relative..... and throw in having a hair cut and passport sized photos taken right after that. Lol
But.....but.....you can't possibly study 24 hours right? Right?

And now that I am back in Vista.....the pressure is back ON. Yeah....bring on the pressure, baby! (/sarcasm). Because seeing other students burying their noses in their notes is the most heavenly sight for me. (/sarcasm.) Gah. What you gotta do? That's a fact that I have to face.

I still have A LOT to cover man! That's what you get when you have to revise BOTH Foundation 1 and Foundation 2 notes combined. The frustrating thing is that even though I really study hard and concentrate on studying ( esp. at night) I still can't cover as much in one day/ study as fast as I'd like to.

That's why I didn't feel like coming back here in the first place. I feel the intense heat of the pressure back here. Maybe it's good for some people....but not so good for a person who easily cracks and crumbles under pressure....like me. Honestly.

And I certainly DO NOT want to resit again. I've been doing resits EVERY YEAR FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS. Seriously. Hopefully I have better luck in medicine? I don't know. Hopefully.

p.s. Been missing this fast internet connection at home. A blessing or a curse??

p.p.s. For some reason, I couldn't acess my Friendster profile back home in Kuching.

p.p.p.s How did America chose Melinda Doolittle to be eliminated over Blake Lewis is beyond me. Definitely a shocking result! Looks like Jordin Sparks now has this American Idol title in the bag! Which is just as well....since she's my favourite. =)

Looks like I haven't been updating for quite a while.....

That's because I've been rather busy with revision for the EOS. You know, it's the big exam, nobody wants to fail.

My revision has been going steady, but very slow. I try to set targets for myself to reach every day, but sometimes I fail to reach them, heh.

Going back to KL this Saturday, and have to hit the MMS every day next week.

I would like to thank my family for being so supportive of me during times like this. There is no place like home.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

This post is especially dedicated to my mother- Teresa Wong Ing @ Noresa Abdullah.

Thank you for being such a great and wonderful mum to me all throughout these years.

I am so blessed to have a mum like you, I wouldn't want any other mum in this world.

When I am down, you pick me up and you comfort me.

When I am sad, you are my shoulder to cry on.

When I face challenges and tests, you are always there to support and encourage me.

We share a very special bond, and our relationship isn't a typical mother-daughter relationship. Sometimes, we can be more like sisters, quarreling and then making up. We hardly ever hide secrets from each other.

In a sense, we are more like soulmates.

You are my strength when I am weak,

You are my voice when I can't speak,

You are my eyes when I can't see

You see the best there is in me,

You stand by me and I stand tall,

I have your love, I have it all,

I'm everything I am

Because you love me.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

p.s. Let us give a thought for all those who aren't lucky enough to experience a mother's love.

The Answers revealed.......

Alright....since there doesn't seem to be anyone else attempting the test.....I think I'll revealed the answers for my 'True Friend Test' now.

Get ready ;)


Question #1
Which one of the following statements about my background is false?
a) My biological father is a Malay
b) My biological father is a Chinese adopted by Malays
c) have 3 half siblings who share the same father as me
d)I have a step-father
My real father is a Chinese adopted by Malays. Maybe that explains why I look pure Chinese. I have an elder half-brother from my father's first wife and a younger brother and sister from his 3rd wife. Nope, I never keep in touch with them. Oh and yes, I have a step-father, a Chinese, who is in Indonesia right now.

Question #2
What is my mother's maiden surname?
a)Wong
b) Ng
c) Chong
d) Tan
Yes, Lynn Xuan- my mum shares the same surname as you. She's a pure Foochow.

Question #3
Which year am I born in?
a)1982
b)1983
c)1984
d)1985
In the year of the Pig. haha. Maybe that explains why I sleep so much? ;) That makes me 23, coming to 24 years of age now.

Question #4
How many siblings do I have?
a)One elder sister
b)One younger brother
c)One younger brother and one younger sister
d)none
This is one of the easiest questions to answer for those who know me- but a trick question for those who do not really know me. I do not have any siblings. Growing up as an only child can be rather lonely at times, but for the most part, I am so used to it. Maybe that explains my solitary behaviour and my emphasis on my own private time.

Question #5
What is my favourite TV programme?
a)The Apprentice
b)The Amazing Race
c)American Idol
d)Survivor
Wow, nobody got this right. Batchmates, if you attended our very first CG meeting, you might remember- there was someone who wrote down that their favourite programme was 'Survivor' and yes, that person is me. Yes, I fell in love with the programme, the first time I watched it- episode 2 of Survivor: Africa (season 3) when I was in college. They don't show it in UK- so that was when I learnt to download episodes from the internet. I do enjoy watching the other 3 mentioned programmes as well.

Question #6
What is my favourite colour?
a)Red
b)Light purple
c)Pink
d)Blue
Pleasantly surprised that you both got it right! I don't think I ever told of my friends over here what my favourite colour actually is. It used to be blue when I was younger.

Question #7
What is my favourite day of the week?
a)Wednesday
b)Friday
c)Saturday
d)Sunday
Fridays!! Because it signifies the start of the weekend! An entire weekend ahead of me! Friday nights are the best. In college- I used to look forward to friday nights when I can watch Survivor. Now I look forward to watching American Idol on Friday nights.


Question #8
Who is my favourite artiste?
a)Avril Lavigne
b)Josh Gorban
c)Kelly Clarkson
d)Shayne Ward
Actually, I love to listen to just about every song that comes on the radio airwaves, and didn't have any favourite artiste. Even when I buy CDs or cassettes, I would buy the compilation ones.
However, recently, I have developed a liking for American Idol's very first winner, Kelly Clarkson. She has come a long way since then. I LOVE her songs- 'Because of You', 'Behind Those Hazel Eyes', 'Breakaway', 'Walkaway', 'Since U've Been Gone'. Not sure about the latest song of hers 'Never Again' though.

Question #9
Which is my favourite boyband?
a)Backstreet Boys
b)Westlife
c)Maroon 5
d)none
Yup, typical teenage girl, haha.

Question #10
Which is my favourite author?
a)Agatha Christie
b)Sophie Kinsella
c)Danielle Steel
d)Torey Hayden
If I'm not mistaken- this answer can be found in both of my profiles here and in Friendster. The main reason that I love Danielle Steel books is because she writes about real life dramas, the joys, triumphs, pains and tragedy that humans experience in their everyday lives. Not something bombastic or out of the ordinary. Those are the kind of stories that I like best.

So...yeah....I guess that's it :)

A Reminder to self.....

STUDY!!!

Ailing, you know very well that the big End of Semester exams is only 3 weeks away....and you've got a lot to cover.....both Foundation 1 and Foundation 2. And you're barely even halfway through revising Foundation 1 yet.

BUCK UP!!!

Omg, I am so dead :( Any advise on how to revise faster and more efficiently is very much appreciated. Because everytime I tell myself that I really need to quicken my study pace, I fail to do so- I fail to achieve my target for the day.

ARRGHHHH!!! How am I going to get through this? How am I going to finish my revision at the snail pace that I am going? I don't want to fail- I don't wanna resit(again) and let this golden opportunity of working in 'The Star' slip through my fingers.

When will I ever learn?

Can I hold on to God's promises that He will pull me through? He had pulled me through 2 summative assessments, will He pull me through this? I have to learn to put my trust in Him- no matter how tough it is.
I need a peace of mind. Late last night, I was really panicking and feeling overwhelmed about the amount of revision that I have to cover for these few weeks.

Childhood pictures!!

Me and my biological dad



1 year old?

In my ballet attire

7 years old- dressed as a flower girl for auntie's wedding.




Visit my Friendster page at http://www.friendster.com/nooai to see more!!

Fruits of the Spirit

Today in CF, dear Angelene (M106) lead us in a discussion about the fruits of the Spirit. ( I forgot exactly what was the title of the activity, Lynn Xuan, correct me if I am wrong.)
We learnt that Red Apples represent Love, oranges represent joy, mangoes represent peace, grapes represent patience, the dragonfruit represents kindness, bananas represent goodness and the potato represents faithfulness. And last but not least, the durian represents self-control, because when you are sick, you've to learn to control and refrain yourself from eating durians. According to Angie ;)

Two fruits that I would really want to have in me is Love and Joy. I want to be able to show God's love to all the people around me- to my family and friends, to everyone who meets me.
I also want to have this underlying Joy in my heart. Joy is different from happiness. Whilst happiness is a superficial feeling and can come and go depending on circumstances, Joy on the other hand is something we feel deep down inside of us- irrespective of circumstances. We can feel joyful deep down in our hearts, even through tough times, because it's the Joy of the Lord which cannot be taken away from us.

But I've to admit that I still don't really have this pure Joy in my heart that some Christians have. I tend to complain and get upset about the smallest things. Today I realized that instead of just moaning over tiny upsets and if things don't go my way- I should instead learn to be thankful for everything that I have in my life right now.
Instead of complaining about an irresponsible father who had nothing to do with my life, I should instead be thankful for such a caring and loving mother who is always there for me to support me no matter what circumstances. I should be thankful that because of my name- I had the opportunity to be sponsored to study overseas, an opportunity which some of you are still impatiently waiting for. ( If I have a Chinese name, I don't think I would even have a chance to be sponsored to go overseas).
And be thankful for the fact that due to my mum's hard work and perseverance all these years, I never had to worry about money.
Yeah- and be thankful for great housemates and friends over here.
And a great 'family', no matter how untraditional my family may seem. Today I arrived back in Kuching and uncle David and Tze Chien right away drove me to eat my favourite local dish - the Kolo' Mee ( a Kuching specialty). (Anyone from Penang- haha I know there are at least a couple of readers from there- one day I should throw a challenge to you- Penang food vs Sarawak food! ;) )

I should learn to be thankful for all the blessings bestowed upon me so far in my life.

p.s. Islam test today went ok, that's because I actually stayed up very late to study for it last night.

p.p.s I finally got accepted by 'The Star' newspaper to do my electives in the Kuching branch! I am so relieved. For the past few days, I actually thought that they wouldn't accept me and I would have to change my choice of elective. Journalism, here I come, even if only for a couple of weeks!
Oh- did I mention that according to the chief Human Resources director, I am the very first medical student who has worked in 'The Star' newspaper?

p.p.p.s Rotation timetable came out. I am in Group A, meaning that I would be the very first group to be going to KKB! The problem is this.... after my convocation ceremony in Cardiff in July, I had scheduled my ticket to return back to Malaysia only on 25th July. Rotations start on 23rd July. Uh oh. And if I were to change my tickets, I would have to buy a new ticket altogether. *scratches head*

p.p.p.p.s I might actually upload some photos of my home in Kuching the next few days or so, if I feel like it, so stay tuned.

p.p.p.p.p.s Do try out my 'True Friend Test' at the side bar ok? ;)

And finally- arrrrggghhhh.......I HAVE TO STUDY!!!!!!!

I don't wanna.....

*text edited out because blogger is aware that she is living in a country whereby religion is a very sensitive topic and all religious discussions should be dealt with carefully.

My visual DNA....

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