Ok, it's confirmed. I'm gonna flop in the upcoming summative assessment next Friday. :/
I'm just simply not prepared at all for it. Somehow, just somehow, no matter how hard I try, the most I can do is catch up with daily lectures. I barely have time to go back and revise previous lectures which have been taught quite a while ago. Why oh why can't I go any faster? Sigh.
I know that most of my batchmates are already quite far into their revision, their revision is getting on well. Maybe it's because they study much faster than me. Why am I so damn slow?
I want a study leave! Now! Seriously. How are we supposed to finish studying and remember every single detail? The test being MCQ doesn't help either if I don't even have time to revise! Our Sem 2 seniors had a 2 week pure study leave for their 1st Summative Assessment. We, M206 people, need a study leave as well!!!!!!
As if the Dean, or the Head of Academic Affairs Department would read this and seriously consider this proposal/petition. Sigh.

It's a waste of time.....

to go to church.
Well, that's exactly what my Singaporean friend said just now when we went grocery shopping at Carrefour. She had earlier on finally agreed follow me and one of my housemates to church again after missing out on more than one month of church services. But now, it looks like she's not going again, simply because it's a waste of her time.
Last week, her reply when I texted her, asking her whether she was going or not was ' Should I go or not? Don't have the heart to go to church :p . I've yet to finish studying the GI tract.'
Gosh, I don't know how to reply her. Sure, there are different types of people. Some people, like David and Naomi, our semester 2 seniors, still attend church service even when they're having an assessment the following day. Others think that it's time wasted, and better spent sleeping in or studying.
Oh God, what have I done to deserve such studious coursemates? They are all like really stressing out about the upcoming assessment. If she is stressing out even though she has already studied quite a lot for the assessment, how about me? I'll be dead meat!
It's people like this that makes me even more stressed than I already am. I try to appear cool, but deep inside I'm stressing out too about the assessment. I'm seriously not prepared for it, simply because I have to catch up with our daily lectures everyday. I thought that I'm trying my best, but looks like it's simply not enough compared to the effort put in by others. If I'm stressing myself out like this right now, I can't imagine what it'll be like in the future semesters, when we'll have tons more assessments to go through, and also those big exams which we really need to pass in order to proceed on to the next semester. What about during the clinical years when we'll receive much more pressure, going for ward rounds in the hospital (sometimes for the whole day) besides studying? What about during the housemanship year when we get bullied like crazy by the senior nurses and doctors? Oh, and must I go through all this anyways? Is this what life on earth is about, suffering and trying to withstand pressure because you need to earn your living?
I seriously feel like screaming out loud. Let my housemates think I'm crazy, I don't care :P

Behavioural Sciences Week Part Deux

So the Behavioural Science Week is officially over - much to the relief of most of my coursemates ( including my housemates). I, on the contrary, wish that it didn't end that fast, simply because I find it not as demanding compared to other weeks. What we learn in Behavioural Science week is mostly to do with logic and common sense. Well, we actually still have to study for the lectures, but I notice that everyone seems to be somewhat more concerned about the hard sciences part of medicine. People still carry the Marieb book around even though it is not one of the recommended books for this 2 weeks.
People are already stressing out about the upcoming summative assessment at the end of next month even though it is only an assessment. Everywhere I go, I see people study and study, and I've to admit that at times it stresses me out too. It makes me feel like I'm one of the laziest people in my class even though I try to stay up at night.
Back to the Behavioural Science Week, my patient interview was held yesterday. As I mentioned previously, it is also being assessed and contributes 2% of our total grades. I think mine went on ok. I was rather nervous at first, and was in a disarray. However, I went in and just strutted my stuff, doing the necessary introduction ( asking for name, age, occupation, etc.) and starting up a bit of a casual chat before I proceeded on to the actual part, which was to ask the patient about his problem. (It was a male patient btw). He was suffering from knee pain. I asked all the necessary questions like how long had it been going on for, have you done anything about it, what do you think might have caused it, can you describe the pain for me, does it cause you any problems, do you have any worries, etc. I am grateful that I got Paul Jambu as the assessing lecturer. He is one of the more lenient ones in marking among the 6 Behavioural Science lecturers.
Hera Lukman on the other hand, one of my housemates got her as the assessing lecturer, and apparently she is very strict in marking. Unlike the other lecturers, she looks at whether the student is successful in building rapport with the patient, and not just whether the student has managed to ask all the necessary questions.
My groupmates, who as I mentioned earlier are all Malays, are great people. Now, I'm glad that I got put into the same group as them. Maybe it's God's way of telling me that I need to open myself up more to these people as well.
Yeah, I guess that sort of wraps up my Behavioural Sciences week report- it's back to normal again next week, and back to the daily grind of reading lecture notes AND the Marieb book and looking at everyone around me working like mad and feeling lazy and inadequate again.

Behavioural Sciences Week Part 1

So we are halfway through our intensive 2 week course on the Behavioural Sciences.
The Behavioural Science week is a refreshing change from the Biological Sciences that we are used to learning. If before, we learn about the Kreb's Cycle and various other metabolic reactions occuring in the body as well as the structure and functions of the various organs in our body, this week, we study about the behavioural aspect of medicine.
We were exposed to more psychological stuff this week, for example pain, motivation, becoming ill, reacting towards illness, ageing, the various theories of learning, personality, etc.
Dr.Hera Lukman was lecturing us today! I had been looking forward to seeing her, as I had heard quite a lot of positive things being mentioned about her from our seniors as well as batchmates who had been her PBL mentees. I always thought that I could differentiate between a British and an American accent, that is until I met her. During her introduction, she mentioned that she had a complex background, and she had been to many different countries around the world. Most recently, she had just returned from a 3 week trip to the US. She talks without fullstops, lol! But she's a great lecturer, she has this charisma about her as she teaches. When I checked for feedback from my friends, they all liked her a lot.
Also, we get to learn how to interact with our patients and how exactly to go about conducting a patient interview. We were divided into groups of 4-5 people, and horror of all horrors, I had to be randomly appointed as my group leader. And furthermore, my groupmates were all Malays, whom I never really got to know before ( ever though they are my batchmates).
We learnt exactly what type of questions to ask the patient, how to built rapport with the patient, etc. My group had our interview practice session last week. It was fun, we took turns to be the patient and the doctor. Being the group leader, I was the very first person to act as the doctor. The feedback from the factilitator about my attempt was positive, to my delight.
Next week would be the real thing, when our interview sessions with our stimulated patients would be recorded and then assessed. It's quite scary actually, for a first-timer, but with some practice, hopefully everything will be fine. Also, as a group leader, I am supposed to know how to operate the video camera, something which I have never even laid a hand on before.
To summarize, the Behavioural Science week is to make sure that we become all-rounded doctors in the future, being able to be caring and compassionate towards our patients and understanding towards their needs, instead of just being machines giving out medicine. Because there is more to medicine and being a doctor then just curing the patient.

At the end of next week, I'll update you guys with the occurings of the second half of the Behavioural Science week.

My very first attempt in.....

My very first attempt in......
Worship leading.
Yeah, that's right. ;) You haven't read it wrong.
It all started when I was in my bedroom, having just arrived back in my condo after the one week break. As you can imagine, I wasn't in my best mood then. I was 'mourning' over the end of the holidays. How I wish we had at least ONE more day of this precious break. But of course I just had to begrudgingly accept the fact that there is little I could do about it, except prepare myself for a fresh new start for the next phase of semester 1 in IMU.
I was noncholantly unpacking my luggage when Enrique Igleasieas's 'Hero' filled the airspace of my bedroom. I reached out for the culprit- my brand new Nokia 6680.
It was Joanne, the Christian Fellowship cell group leader for us Semester 1 students. (She's a semester 5 student)
'Ailing, do you know who in the cell group knows how to play the guitar? I've lost the list of people who are able to play the instrument, being the absent-minded person that I am'.
'Uhhh...I don't know' came the honest reply.
'Do you know how to play the guitar?'
'No- but I might be able to lead worship...'
'Yeah, I remember I saw from the list that a whole lot of you are willing to do worship leading'
Then suddenly she asked ' Do you want to lead worship for the Cell Group in 2 week's time? Next week Pei Shern would be leading but you can do the week after next.'
'But I do not know how to play the guitar'
'Never mind, I'll get someone to play the guitar.'
Hmmm......is this what you call 'God's calling?'
I didn't take long to contemplate, accepting the offer almost immediately. Being in control of the choice of songs that we would be singing in the next cell group meeting doesn't seem like such a bad idea at all.
During the following cell group, Joanne borrowed me her entire book of worship songs. Needless to say, I was spoilt for choice! I could recognize many songs, and I found myself uttering ' Oh, I love this song' 'Oh I love this song too' numerous times.
Finally, after some deliberation, I managed to narrow down the song choices to 3 songs 'I Could Sing of Your Love Forever' 'God Will Make A Way' and 'Above All'
I didn't even get to practice with Eunice, who was supposed to play the guitar, because she didn't have one.
^ ^ ^
Finally, the moment arrived. The Seminar Room which Joanne booked for the first time, ever since we finally acknowledged that the group was too large to be accommodated in a small PBL room, was already filled with people.
Horror of all horrors. There was NO guitar after all. We were going to be singing without any accompanying music. It's all going to be based on our voices alone. Any flaws in our singing would be exaggerated.
Silence. It was time to begin. After the opening prayer, I suddenly found all eyes focused on me I shuffled my feet and wringed my hands, unaccustomed to this type of attention on myself.
I introduced the first song ' I could sing of your love' as a very significant song for me, because it was the theme song for the very first Easter Conference I had ever attended, where I accepted Christ.
My groupmates all knew the song, much to my delight. Soon, our voices were singing in harmony to the song. It was just pure singing to the Lord, without any backgroud music whatsforever. It was the same for the second song ' God Will Make A Way'.
As I was introducing the third song ' Above All', Sarah suddenly had something to say.
'Guys, I know that it's a bit weird without any guitar accompaniment, but let's just sing our hearts out to the Lord. Because he looks into our hearts.' she pointed out.
And so the harmonious melody of 'Above All' began filling the room. Never before had I heard the song being sung so beautifully.
At the end of the day, I know that it's not how well we sang the songs, but whether our hearts and souls are really into the worship that counts. Because God looks into our hearts.

Back to school

This will be a short and spontaneous one, as I need to be studying again after this. It's just the same old thing day after day - having lectures very early in the morning, then reading up on the lectures. Sometimes, just by looking at our timetables, it's hard to believe that we are medic students. We have the entire afternoon to ourselves. However, this can be rather deceptive. Those who aren't motivated might use the free time to go shopping etc. But in actual fact, for each lecture we have plenty of stuff to read up on. Sometimes I can barely finish reading up on today's lecture before yet another day of lectures begin.
And I am beginning to feel a bit stressed out now. I think it's only me, but all my batchmates are still in a jolly mood. I just don't want to fail again. I know what it's like to fail , to go through the pain and depression of failing despite your uttermost efforts......it's very discouraging. And ppl around me are studying constantly everyday. That's why I seldom visit the library. I don't know why, but just the mere sight of students studying all around me is enough to drive me crazy. I am a night person. So I stay up late at night ( and catch only a few hours sleep as a result) and so I nap in the afternoon. Well, different people have different methods of studying right? But yeah, I just don't feel as confident about my studies as I used to when I was in primary/secondary school. What if everyone does well in the upcoming summative assessment ( on 22nd December) except me? It would be like the same thing happening to me all over again. No!!! Looks like I'll need to pray to God, asking Him to give me the confidence that I need.
The one week DeepaRaya break has come and gone by so fast, too fast for my liking. We need a longer break, damnit, so that we can catch up with all the lectures that we hadn't manage to catch up on, and at the same time having a good relaxing time with our families, friends and relatives.
Speaking of relatives, I managed to meet up with all my aunties and uncles and some of my cousins during the holiday. My mum and all her siblings went back to Sibu to tend to their mother's grave. Some of them, like auntie Julianna, I haven't seen for as long as 10 years! And it was great to meet some of my cousins as well. Carol still gives off some tomboyish vibes, but she's cool. The person who surprised me the most was Wan Cjing, auntie Betty's daughter. It has been more than 7 years since I last saw her, and boy has she changed a lot! Behaviour wise, I mean. Now helping out in her mother's shop, she has grown up to become a strong, independent woman, with great communication skills. And one thing I like about her is that she lives her own life.
'I don't care what people think about me- whether people say I'm fat- as long as I'm happy with myself and who I am' she says. And I say, good for her.

Life so far in IMU

It was about 5 hours into the 12 hour flight from London's Heathrow Airport to KLIA. I was sitting quietly in my seat, pretending to watch 'Akilah and the Spelling Bee'. However, my mind was far away from the movie.

'Am I making the right decision?' I ask myself for the thousandth time. 'Is this the right decision for me to return back to Malaysia?'

Just a couple of months ago, I was a Neuroscience student in Cardiff University, located in the capital city of Wales. Cardiff is a nice place, with a nice atmosphere and friendly people. However, I'll now admit- I struggled like I've never before for the entire three years of my course. Not that it was tough – well it was a tough course, but somehow my heart just wasn't into it. Having lost my interest in the course and studies in general, I toiled all the way through and just managed to squeeze through with a 2nd class Honors degree. My struggles made me think twice and reevalute my initial plan of proceeding to undertake a Masters and consequently and PhD degree in Neuroscience.

Seeing my anguish and desperation, my mum decided to offer me an alternative- to study medicine back in Malaysia ( I couldn't do medicine in UK because I didn't manage to enter through UCAS the last time I applied). That suggestion was greated with an even less enthusiastic response from me. Medicine back in Malaysia? Can it even reach half the standard of medical degrees overseas? Will I ever have a life ever again? The truth was, I had this secret desire to undertake journalism and become a writer someday. However, not a single person I confessed my silent wish to would have any of it.

So there I was in the plane back to Malaysia, having made the decision to not continue Neuroscience and start afresh with medicine instead. A thousand thoughts filled my mind. What if I don't like medicine as well? I cannot afford to quit and change to yet another course. What if I find it too stressful to cope with? What if I don't get along with my housemates and my coursemates?


*one week later*

I was standing outside the multipurpose hall on the top floor of the Bukit Jalil campus in IMU during registration day. My mum and I exchanged unspoken words. The pleading look in my eyes said it all. If it was at all possible, I would've considered catching the next flight back to the UK.

However, what occurred within the next few months or so did wonders to make me do a 360 degree turn regarding that uncertainty of mine.

Orientation week, which I entered with trepidation, turned out to be one of the most memorable weeks I would ever have in my life (I'm sure most of you would agree to this :p). No doubt, I had never ever gotten this dirty before in my entire life, I had never had this much fun too. It was the first time I had an interesting combination of flour, butter and eggs stuck on my hair, the first time I heard of the 'caterpillar crawl' let alone do one, the first time I ran as far as I did during the Treasure Hunt. And my orientation group mates and my O.Os are great people. The IMU Cup, through the cheerleading competition, gave me some memorable moments as well, although our batch didn't win.

And I'm very grateful to have such wonderful housemates and coursemates as well. Whether it is just a simple smile, or a quick 'hi' to shopping trips to MidValley and Carrefour, they make me feel really accepted into the family.

As far as the lecturers are concerned, although certain lecturers are a bit harder to comprehend (maybe because of their strong accent *hint*) and some others give out lecture notes which are hard to follow, but they are all great and qualified lecturers who try the best they can to impart their knowledge to us future doctors. Through the Problem Based Learning (PBL) sessions, we learn to really work as a team and learn to adopt efficient methods of searching for information and presenting the information which we had extracted.

So all in all, nearly 2 months since first joining the IMU family, I feel like I've already integrated myself into the family, and I believe that most, if not all of my batchmates feel the same way. The only complaints I have are…… the lack of dining places around the campus, (We only have a choice between the school canteen and the stalls outside vista B) and lectures being held ridiculously early in the morning (Ok, I'll admit that I'm not a morning person :p)

To put it all in a nutshell – I love you, IMU, and I am looking forward to an exciting adventure with you and developing as a person throughout the next 5 years that I would be here.

Don't You Quit!!

Here is a poem that my friend, Lily, wrote for me. I just thought that it was so lovely that I just had to share it with you.
Don't You Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twist and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a fellow turns about
When he might havve won had he stuck it out
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than (you think)
It seems to a faint and faltering man
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup,
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is a failure turned inside out-
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems a far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

The Crossroads

Friday, 15th June 2006

Here I sit in my own room , in front of my beloved companion, my laptop. Something deep inside me is urging me to write out every single thing and every single thought that is running through my mind right now. But now that Im properly sitted in front of my laptop, my mind draws a complete blank. There are no more tears to be shed, at least not at the moment, they have all run dry. Because I am feeling so hopeless at the moment. This feeling of being hopeless and helpless in weighing heavily on my very heart and soul. I simply dont know where to pour all my hearts contents to now. Hopefully by writing all my current burdens and worries down, it can help to ease the load off me somewhat. Because I express my inner and true feelings much better in writing that in person, thats just who I am. I am a very shy, reserved and secretive person, an introvert, making it hard for me to open up to others. This is the only way that I can open up and tell others what I really feel inside, what Im going through at this very moment.Oh Lord, why do you let me down yet again? You are full of promises, you promise that youll never forsake us, your sons and daughters. Why everytime when I put my hope and trust in you, youll always let me down? Why do you let me fail time and time again?

Just two days ago, you raised my hopes up when my name was on the viva list. I thought that I had actually passed all my spring semester modules and could graduate this summer, despite my endless worries about the two double modules that I sat for. But today, you dashed my hopes yet again. This afternoon, when I went back to the Biosciences Building to check my final degree results, I spotted a bunch of 1s and 2:1s on the newly released list of our final degree classifications. Could I actually be one of them? Could I actually obtain a 2:1 for my degree? Impossible. My eyes slowly scanned down the list, searching for my student number. ( Yes, they are kind enough to use numbers and not names). 0332729 *see Dr.SanterOh, this isnt looking good at all. My heart pounding fast, I walked slowly up the stairs of the West Wing in the Biosciences Building to the 3rd floor where Dr. Santer, my Personal Tutors office is located. By then, I already had this sinking feeling, I knew what was coming. And yes, my worst fears were confirmed. I had failed two modules, one single module in the autumn semester, and one double module in the spring semester.

*flashback*It was on a Wednesday morning, I was up after just a few hours of sleep, rushing to complete the latest segment of my final year project, which was to be handed in to my project supervisor aka personal tutor that day. Maybe I should check the university websites blackboard to see if our Autumn semester results are out yet.A few quick, masterful clicks, and Im now logged into the blackboard. Oh, our results are out! Heart pounding fast, I click on the link which took me to the list with our results for the AN3103 module. I scan the list for my student number. I find it. Oh, oh no, it cant be. It just cant be. Beside my student number were the two letters FM (Failed module). To top things up, I was the only person in my whole class who seemed to fail that module. Ouch. I felt as if someone had just stuck the blade of a dagger right into my heart. I was so confident that I had passed that paper and that I had failed my Psychology paper. But no, I just had to be so happy to discover that I had somehow passed my Psychology paper a few days ago, and thought that everything was going on well in my life. But this just had to happen to me. All the all-nighters that Ive pulled, the notes and journals that Ive read are all for naught.*fastforward*

This is not the end of the world the kind voice, of Dr.Santer, my personal tutor, brought me back to the future. Normally, since you dont have enough credits, you wouldnt be allowed to graduate with an honours degree. But you actually have an alternative.you can chose to resit either one of the modules that youve failed, or resit both of them. Do let me know on Monday ok? I tried to put on a brave face and smile at him. But inside, Im already starting to quiver. My whole world is tumbling down on me yet again. Why does it always have to be like this? Why oh why!

You see, Neuroscience was not my first choice, it was never what I really wanted to do in the first place. Since young, I had always wanted to become a doctor. Well, I was somehow brainwashed by the people around me that being a doctor is very prestigious, youll earn lots of money and youll gain plenty of respect from others. Although now that Im older, come to think of it, I simply cant figure out what is so great about becoming a doctor. You work long hours, you get scolded all the time by your seniors, you hardly get any time for yourself, you get depressed when your patients die. Is it all worth it? I did go to a pre-medical college, beginning my journey to become a doctor. But when I applied through the UCAS form, oddly, none of the 4 universities I applied to even called me for an interview. Not a single one, even though I was way past their target mark. So one day, my college principal called me up to suggest me to do a new course instead, since my teachers observed how slow I am in handling labwork. They didnt think I could cope with medicine anyways. Well, maybe they are right. I am slow in everything and not capable of doing much. Do Pharmacy? I was asked. Ugh no. Pharmacy is too boring, just memorizing structures and names of various types of drugs. No way. (Although now I sort of wish I did take up Pharmacy- imagine how many of my friends could actually help me out) Neuroscience. Neuroscience is a really tough and challenging course, its good for brainy people like you. Ugh ok, I dont know what the heck it is about, but ok, if you suggest so- ok then Well, haha, its too late now to change course. I got myself into this mess, into the hellish situation that I cant get out of. Now I have to force myself to study Neuroscience- complete my bachelors degree in Neuroscience, then continue Masters and then PhD. Well, no matter how much I dislike and have no interest in the subject, I still have to carry on right? Because its normal for people to not enjoy what they are doing. I mean, who in this world actually enjoys what they are doing or what they are studying?
What you do yourself actually want to do? people would always ask me. My answer would be I dont know. Well, I really dont know what I want to do. A small voice inside of me whispers writing- you love writing dont you? Then another voice says Stupid girl! What can you gain out of writing? They are so many people who can write much better than you!I know Im not the worlds greatest writer, but I do need to start somewhere right? I dont necessarily want to become a famous author or anything, I just want to do something related to writingLike what?Emmmemmm like journalism?Journalism? Travelling around everywhere, having to ask people questions?Ummwell.I admit that I hate that part of itWell then WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

Oh God. I feel so hopeless and useless. I thought that you have given each of us a gift, something which we are good at, something which we make use of to serve you in some way or another. What is my gift God? What is it? Why dont I have anything that I am good at? I am slow, clumsy, inefficient, quiet, reserved, not motivated, the list goes on and on. I cant find one single positive thing or talent about myself. Why oh why? Is there a gift deep inside me that is still waiting to be discovered? I dont know. There are so many questions unanswered. I dont know who am I, I dont know why I come to this world for, I dont know why my mother bore such a useless daughter like me. Everything that I can do, people can do much better than me.And the only thing that I can do is cry. Oh yes, crying is my best weapon. Lord, please do help this useless being.

I want more support!

Current mood: crushed
I have a passion for writing, and I have this secret desire to go into a field related with writing someday. However, I feel like do not have enough support from the people around me or even people online.
I use the Pencil Box @ FGC as a starting ground to develop my writing skills. I just wish that more people would give me support and read or vote in my stories. Sometimes it seems as if people vote for the first few times and then just completely lose interest in it. :/
And my real life friends, when I show them the story 'A Girl Named Rebecca' which I completed a few months ago, well, they did discuss it at times, but at times I just wish that I could get more encouragement and support for my writing from those around me.
Maybe writing is not what God wants me to do, and I'm being rebellious here. Maybe I should just stick to boring Neuroscience instead.

I am feeling so down!

I'm feeling so down Current mood: tired
I was feeling so down for the entire day today.
First, I always stay up at night, because that's the only time that I can study, do stuff ,etc.
And so early this morning, when I was in the kitchen boiling water, one of my housemates came up to me and scolded me, saying that I was making too much noise every night and she can't sleep. She threatened to call the police if I continue making noise every night.
Wtf?!! What do I do everynight other than sit in front of my computer and study or go online? I guess it's because of the door, it has a tendency to slam when I close it. MEH. And I'm not the only person to live on the second floor of the house. But I can't say anything because I do tend to stay up late at night.
And to top it off, my mum called me up today to inform me that my grandmother passed away. :/

I hate Neuroscience!!

I hate Neuroscience!! Current mood: bored
I really hate the course that I am doing now. I have absolutely no passion whatsforever for it. And I am studying just for the heck of it. I can't imagine having to earn a living in the future setting up experimental apparatus in the lab( or rather trying to) and reading journals. I really can't. And I never can do well in my exams ( although somehow I made it to the final year). The lecture notes that are handed out to us are just very short, compact notes which contain very little information. And so we have to read as many journals as possible in order to do well in the exams, and remember all the facts like who wrote the journal and which year exactly did they conduct the experiment and write the journal. I find it impossible to remember every single thing.I don't know what to do. I feel overwhelmed right now, I don't think I'll be able to remember a single thing come exam time, which is what always happens to me each time anyways.I'm so over the course, I'm so over studying and exams. Although I really shouldn't be complaining, because everyone hates studying and exams anyways. :/

Spring is finally here!!

Spring is here!
Yes, spring is finally here!! I've been waiting soo long for it to arrive, and finally it is here!! Woot! I was really HATING on the cold weather or rather the cold winds that we had over the past month or so. It makes me so lazy to get out of my house or my room even.

So I'm like multitasking again. Eating my dinner while messing around with myspace. It seems like almost everyone has myspace so I must get one too. :lol Anyways, myspace, I think, is a cool way of being able to vent out my feelings, record down my thoughts, etc.
There isn't anything spectacular to watch on TV right now. Sigh. I loved watching 'Strictly Come Dancing', but then the season is now over. Then I loved 'Dancing On Ice' and 'Stars In Their Eyes', but then the two shows ended too. So now what can I watch on Saturday nights?!
Argh...I will have to lose one hour of my precious time tonight. :( No thanks to 'daylight savings' or whatever they call it. Not that I can do much in one hour anyways. :p I know some people who can squeeze in a hell lot of activity within a one hour time span, but that's just not me :/
I am a sort of laid back kind of person if you know what I mean. My cousin says that I am a very patient person, which might be true, as I'm usually very patient with others ( well except my mum that is). But sometimes I can be quite impatient about things too. I am certainly not a fast and efficient type of person. I am the type who likes relaxing, reflecting upon stuff and things like that.
Lately, I've been wondering what I want to do with my life. I find Neuroscience so boring. I hardly can concentrate during lectures, and I have this tendency to completely shut out what the lecturer says. Especially lecturers who do not bother to give out handouts or give their lectures in clear powepoint presentations or put their lectures on blackboard. *cough Dr.Foster cough* I'll ask God. I pray to God everyday guide me slowly step by step and to reveal to me in His own way what he wants me to do in my future.