Back to school

This will be a short and spontaneous one, as I need to be studying again after this. It's just the same old thing day after day - having lectures very early in the morning, then reading up on the lectures. Sometimes, just by looking at our timetables, it's hard to believe that we are medic students. We have the entire afternoon to ourselves. However, this can be rather deceptive. Those who aren't motivated might use the free time to go shopping etc. But in actual fact, for each lecture we have plenty of stuff to read up on. Sometimes I can barely finish reading up on today's lecture before yet another day of lectures begin.
And I am beginning to feel a bit stressed out now. I think it's only me, but all my batchmates are still in a jolly mood. I just don't want to fail again. I know what it's like to fail , to go through the pain and depression of failing despite your uttermost efforts......it's very discouraging. And ppl around me are studying constantly everyday. That's why I seldom visit the library. I don't know why, but just the mere sight of students studying all around me is enough to drive me crazy. I am a night person. So I stay up late at night ( and catch only a few hours sleep as a result) and so I nap in the afternoon. Well, different people have different methods of studying right? But yeah, I just don't feel as confident about my studies as I used to when I was in primary/secondary school. What if everyone does well in the upcoming summative assessment ( on 22nd December) except me? It would be like the same thing happening to me all over again. No!!! Looks like I'll need to pray to God, asking Him to give me the confidence that I need.
The one week DeepaRaya break has come and gone by so fast, too fast for my liking. We need a longer break, damnit, so that we can catch up with all the lectures that we hadn't manage to catch up on, and at the same time having a good relaxing time with our families, friends and relatives.
Speaking of relatives, I managed to meet up with all my aunties and uncles and some of my cousins during the holiday. My mum and all her siblings went back to Sibu to tend to their mother's grave. Some of them, like auntie Julianna, I haven't seen for as long as 10 years! And it was great to meet some of my cousins as well. Carol still gives off some tomboyish vibes, but she's cool. The person who surprised me the most was Wan Cjing, auntie Betty's daughter. It has been more than 7 years since I last saw her, and boy has she changed a lot! Behaviour wise, I mean. Now helping out in her mother's shop, she has grown up to become a strong, independent woman, with great communication skills. And one thing I like about her is that she lives her own life.
'I don't care what people think about me- whether people say I'm fat- as long as I'm happy with myself and who I am' she says. And I say, good for her.