This will be a short and spontaneous one, as I need to be studying again after this. It's just the same old thing day after day - having lectures very early in the morning, then reading up on the lectures. Sometimes, just by looking at our timetables, it's hard to believe that we are medic students. We have the entire afternoon to ourselves. However, this can be rather deceptive. Those who aren't motivated might use the free time to go shopping etc. But in actual fact, for each lecture we have plenty of stuff to read up on. Sometimes I can barely finish reading up on today's lecture before yet another day of lectures begin.
And I am beginning to feel a bit stressed out now. I think it's only me, but all my batchmates are still in a jolly mood. I just don't want to fail again. I know what it's like to fail , to go through the pain and depression of failing despite your uttermost efforts......it's very discouraging. And ppl around me are studying constantly everyday. That's why I seldom visit the library. I don't know why, but just the mere sight of students studying all around me is enough to drive me crazy. I am a night person. So I stay up late at night ( and catch only a few hours sleep as a result) and so I nap in the afternoon. Well, different people have different methods of studying right? But yeah, I just don't feel as confident about my studies as I used to when I was in primary/secondary school. What if everyone does well in the upcoming summative assessment ( on 22nd December) except me? It would be like the same thing happening to me all over again. No!!! Looks like I'll need to pray to God, asking Him to give me the confidence that I need.
The one week DeepaRaya break has come and gone by so fast, too fast for my liking. We need a longer break, damnit, so that we can catch up with all the lectures that we hadn't manage to catch up on, and at the same time having a good relaxing time with our families, friends and relatives.
Speaking of relatives, I managed to meet up with all my aunties and uncles and some of my cousins during the holiday. My mum and all her siblings went back to Sibu to tend to their mother's grave. Some of them, like auntie Julianna, I haven't seen for as long as 10 years! And it was great to meet some of my cousins as well. Carol still gives off some tomboyish vibes, but she's cool. The person who surprised me the most was Wan Cjing, auntie Betty's daughter. It has been more than 7 years since I last saw her, and boy has she changed a lot! Behaviour wise, I mean. Now helping out in her mother's shop, she has grown up to become a strong, independent woman, with great communication skills. And one thing I like about her is that she lives her own life.
'I don't care what people think about me- whether people say I'm fat- as long as I'm happy with myself and who I am' she says. And I say, good for her.
Wednesday, November 8, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Life so far in IMU
It was about 5 hours into the 12 hour flight from London's Heathrow Airport to KLIA. I was sitting quietly in my seat, pretending to watch 'Akilah and the Spelling Bee'. However, my mind was far away from the movie.
'Am I making the right decision?' I ask myself for the thousandth time. 'Is this the right decision for me to return back to Malaysia?'
Just a couple of months ago, I was a Neuroscience student in Cardiff University, located in the capital city of Wales. Cardiff is a nice place, with a nice atmosphere and friendly people. However, I'll now admit- I struggled like I've never before for the entire three years of my course. Not that it was tough – well it was a tough course, but somehow my heart just wasn't into it. Having lost my interest in the course and studies in general, I toiled all the way through and just managed to squeeze through with a 2nd class Honors degree. My struggles made me think twice and reevalute my initial plan of proceeding to undertake a Masters and consequently and PhD degree in Neuroscience.
Seeing my anguish and desperation, my mum decided to offer me an alternative- to study medicine back in Malaysia ( I couldn't do medicine in UK because I didn't manage to enter through UCAS the last time I applied). That suggestion was greated with an even less enthusiastic response from me. Medicine back in Malaysia? Can it even reach half the standard of medical degrees overseas? Will I ever have a life ever again? The truth was, I had this secret desire to undertake journalism and become a writer someday. However, not a single person I confessed my silent wish to would have any of it.
So there I was in the plane back to Malaysia, having made the decision to not continue Neuroscience and start afresh with medicine instead. A thousand thoughts filled my mind. What if I don't like medicine as well? I cannot afford to quit and change to yet another course. What if I find it too stressful to cope with? What if I don't get along with my housemates and my coursemates?
*one week later*
I was standing outside the multipurpose hall on the top floor of the Bukit Jalil campus in IMU during registration day. My mum and I exchanged unspoken words. The pleading look in my eyes said it all. If it was at all possible, I would've considered catching the next flight back to the UK.
However, what occurred within the next few months or so did wonders to make me do a 360 degree turn regarding that uncertainty of mine.
Orientation week, which I entered with trepidation, turned out to be one of the most memorable weeks I would ever have in my life (I'm sure most of you would agree to this :p). No doubt, I had never ever gotten this dirty before in my entire life, I had never had this much fun too. It was the first time I had an interesting combination of flour, butter and eggs stuck on my hair, the first time I heard of the 'caterpillar crawl' let alone do one, the first time I ran as far as I did during the Treasure Hunt. And my orientation group mates and my O.Os are great people. The IMU Cup, through the cheerleading competition, gave me some memorable moments as well, although our batch didn't win.
And I'm very grateful to have such wonderful housemates and coursemates as well. Whether it is just a simple smile, or a quick 'hi' to shopping trips to MidValley and Carrefour, they make me feel really accepted into the family.
As far as the lecturers are concerned, although certain lecturers are a bit harder to comprehend (maybe because of their strong accent *hint*) and some others give out lecture notes which are hard to follow, but they are all great and qualified lecturers who try the best they can to impart their knowledge to us future doctors. Through the Problem Based Learning (PBL) sessions, we learn to really work as a team and learn to adopt efficient methods of searching for information and presenting the information which we had extracted.
So all in all, nearly 2 months since first joining the IMU family, I feel like I've already integrated myself into the family, and I believe that most, if not all of my batchmates feel the same way. The only complaints I have are…… the lack of dining places around the campus, (We only have a choice between the school canteen and the stalls outside vista B) and lectures being held ridiculously early in the morning (Ok, I'll admit that I'm not a morning person :p)
To put it all in a nutshell – I love you, IMU, and I am looking forward to an exciting adventure with you and developing as a person throughout the next 5 years that I would be here.
'Am I making the right decision?' I ask myself for the thousandth time. 'Is this the right decision for me to return back to Malaysia?'
Just a couple of months ago, I was a Neuroscience student in Cardiff University, located in the capital city of Wales. Cardiff is a nice place, with a nice atmosphere and friendly people. However, I'll now admit- I struggled like I've never before for the entire three years of my course. Not that it was tough – well it was a tough course, but somehow my heart just wasn't into it. Having lost my interest in the course and studies in general, I toiled all the way through and just managed to squeeze through with a 2nd class Honors degree. My struggles made me think twice and reevalute my initial plan of proceeding to undertake a Masters and consequently and PhD degree in Neuroscience.
Seeing my anguish and desperation, my mum decided to offer me an alternative- to study medicine back in Malaysia ( I couldn't do medicine in UK because I didn't manage to enter through UCAS the last time I applied). That suggestion was greated with an even less enthusiastic response from me. Medicine back in Malaysia? Can it even reach half the standard of medical degrees overseas? Will I ever have a life ever again? The truth was, I had this secret desire to undertake journalism and become a writer someday. However, not a single person I confessed my silent wish to would have any of it.
So there I was in the plane back to Malaysia, having made the decision to not continue Neuroscience and start afresh with medicine instead. A thousand thoughts filled my mind. What if I don't like medicine as well? I cannot afford to quit and change to yet another course. What if I find it too stressful to cope with? What if I don't get along with my housemates and my coursemates?
*one week later*
I was standing outside the multipurpose hall on the top floor of the Bukit Jalil campus in IMU during registration day. My mum and I exchanged unspoken words. The pleading look in my eyes said it all. If it was at all possible, I would've considered catching the next flight back to the UK.
However, what occurred within the next few months or so did wonders to make me do a 360 degree turn regarding that uncertainty of mine.
Orientation week, which I entered with trepidation, turned out to be one of the most memorable weeks I would ever have in my life (I'm sure most of you would agree to this :p). No doubt, I had never ever gotten this dirty before in my entire life, I had never had this much fun too. It was the first time I had an interesting combination of flour, butter and eggs stuck on my hair, the first time I heard of the 'caterpillar crawl' let alone do one, the first time I ran as far as I did during the Treasure Hunt. And my orientation group mates and my O.Os are great people. The IMU Cup, through the cheerleading competition, gave me some memorable moments as well, although our batch didn't win.
And I'm very grateful to have such wonderful housemates and coursemates as well. Whether it is just a simple smile, or a quick 'hi' to shopping trips to MidValley and Carrefour, they make me feel really accepted into the family.
As far as the lecturers are concerned, although certain lecturers are a bit harder to comprehend (maybe because of their strong accent *hint*) and some others give out lecture notes which are hard to follow, but they are all great and qualified lecturers who try the best they can to impart their knowledge to us future doctors. Through the Problem Based Learning (PBL) sessions, we learn to really work as a team and learn to adopt efficient methods of searching for information and presenting the information which we had extracted.
So all in all, nearly 2 months since first joining the IMU family, I feel like I've already integrated myself into the family, and I believe that most, if not all of my batchmates feel the same way. The only complaints I have are…… the lack of dining places around the campus, (We only have a choice between the school canteen and the stalls outside vista B) and lectures being held ridiculously early in the morning (Ok, I'll admit that I'm not a morning person :p)
To put it all in a nutshell – I love you, IMU, and I am looking forward to an exciting adventure with you and developing as a person throughout the next 5 years that I would be here.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Don't You Quit!!
Here is a poem that my friend, Lily, wrote for me. I just thought that it was so lovely that I just had to share it with you.
Don't You Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twist and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a fellow turns about
When he might havve won had he stuck it out
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than (you think)
It seems to a faint and faltering man
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup,
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is a failure turned inside out-
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems a far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Don't You Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twist and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a fellow turns about
When he might havve won had he stuck it out
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than (you think)
It seems to a faint and faltering man
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup,
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is a failure turned inside out-
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems a far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
The Crossroads
Friday, 15th June 2006
Here I sit in my own room , in front of my beloved companion, my laptop. Something deep inside me is urging me to write out every single thing and every single thought that is running through my mind right now. But now that Im properly sitted in front of my laptop, my mind draws a complete blank. There are no more tears to be shed, at least not at the moment, they have all run dry. Because I am feeling so hopeless at the moment. This feeling of being hopeless and helpless in weighing heavily on my very heart and soul. I simply dont know where to pour all my hearts contents to now. Hopefully by writing all my current burdens and worries down, it can help to ease the load off me somewhat. Because I express my inner and true feelings much better in writing that in person, thats just who I am. I am a very shy, reserved and secretive person, an introvert, making it hard for me to open up to others. This is the only way that I can open up and tell others what I really feel inside, what Im going through at this very moment.Oh Lord, why do you let me down yet again? You are full of promises, you promise that youll never forsake us, your sons and daughters. Why everytime when I put my hope and trust in you, youll always let me down? Why do you let me fail time and time again?
Just two days ago, you raised my hopes up when my name was on the viva list. I thought that I had actually passed all my spring semester modules and could graduate this summer, despite my endless worries about the two double modules that I sat for. But today, you dashed my hopes yet again. This afternoon, when I went back to the Biosciences Building to check my final degree results, I spotted a bunch of 1s and 2:1s on the newly released list of our final degree classifications. Could I actually be one of them? Could I actually obtain a 2:1 for my degree? Impossible. My eyes slowly scanned down the list, searching for my student number. ( Yes, they are kind enough to use numbers and not names). 0332729 *see Dr.SanterOh, this isnt looking good at all. My heart pounding fast, I walked slowly up the stairs of the West Wing in the Biosciences Building to the 3rd floor where Dr. Santer, my Personal Tutors office is located. By then, I already had this sinking feeling, I knew what was coming. And yes, my worst fears were confirmed. I had failed two modules, one single module in the autumn semester, and one double module in the spring semester.
*flashback*It was on a Wednesday morning, I was up after just a few hours of sleep, rushing to complete the latest segment of my final year project, which was to be handed in to my project supervisor aka personal tutor that day. Maybe I should check the university websites blackboard to see if our Autumn semester results are out yet.A few quick, masterful clicks, and Im now logged into the blackboard. Oh, our results are out! Heart pounding fast, I click on the link which took me to the list with our results for the AN3103 module. I scan the list for my student number. I find it. Oh, oh no, it cant be. It just cant be. Beside my student number were the two letters FM (Failed module). To top things up, I was the only person in my whole class who seemed to fail that module. Ouch. I felt as if someone had just stuck the blade of a dagger right into my heart. I was so confident that I had passed that paper and that I had failed my Psychology paper. But no, I just had to be so happy to discover that I had somehow passed my Psychology paper a few days ago, and thought that everything was going on well in my life. But this just had to happen to me. All the all-nighters that Ive pulled, the notes and journals that Ive read are all for naught.*fastforward*
This is not the end of the world the kind voice, of Dr.Santer, my personal tutor, brought me back to the future. Normally, since you dont have enough credits, you wouldnt be allowed to graduate with an honours degree. But you actually have an alternative.you can chose to resit either one of the modules that youve failed, or resit both of them. Do let me know on Monday ok? I tried to put on a brave face and smile at him. But inside, Im already starting to quiver. My whole world is tumbling down on me yet again. Why does it always have to be like this? Why oh why!
You see, Neuroscience was not my first choice, it was never what I really wanted to do in the first place. Since young, I had always wanted to become a doctor. Well, I was somehow brainwashed by the people around me that being a doctor is very prestigious, youll earn lots of money and youll gain plenty of respect from others. Although now that Im older, come to think of it, I simply cant figure out what is so great about becoming a doctor. You work long hours, you get scolded all the time by your seniors, you hardly get any time for yourself, you get depressed when your patients die. Is it all worth it? I did go to a pre-medical college, beginning my journey to become a doctor. But when I applied through the UCAS form, oddly, none of the 4 universities I applied to even called me for an interview. Not a single one, even though I was way past their target mark. So one day, my college principal called me up to suggest me to do a new course instead, since my teachers observed how slow I am in handling labwork. They didnt think I could cope with medicine anyways. Well, maybe they are right. I am slow in everything and not capable of doing much. Do Pharmacy? I was asked. Ugh no. Pharmacy is too boring, just memorizing structures and names of various types of drugs. No way. (Although now I sort of wish I did take up Pharmacy- imagine how many of my friends could actually help me out) Neuroscience. Neuroscience is a really tough and challenging course, its good for brainy people like you. Ugh ok, I dont know what the heck it is about, but ok, if you suggest so- ok then Well, haha, its too late now to change course. I got myself into this mess, into the hellish situation that I cant get out of. Now I have to force myself to study Neuroscience- complete my bachelors degree in Neuroscience, then continue Masters and then PhD. Well, no matter how much I dislike and have no interest in the subject, I still have to carry on right? Because its normal for people to not enjoy what they are doing. I mean, who in this world actually enjoys what they are doing or what they are studying?
What you do yourself actually want to do? people would always ask me. My answer would be I dont know. Well, I really dont know what I want to do. A small voice inside of me whispers writing- you love writing dont you? Then another voice says Stupid girl! What can you gain out of writing? They are so many people who can write much better than you!I know Im not the worlds greatest writer, but I do need to start somewhere right? I dont necessarily want to become a famous author or anything, I just want to do something related to writingLike what?Emmmemmm like journalism?Journalism? Travelling around everywhere, having to ask people questions?Ummwell.I admit that I hate that part of itWell then WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
Oh God. I feel so hopeless and useless. I thought that you have given each of us a gift, something which we are good at, something which we make use of to serve you in some way or another. What is my gift God? What is it? Why dont I have anything that I am good at? I am slow, clumsy, inefficient, quiet, reserved, not motivated, the list goes on and on. I cant find one single positive thing or talent about myself. Why oh why? Is there a gift deep inside me that is still waiting to be discovered? I dont know. There are so many questions unanswered. I dont know who am I, I dont know why I come to this world for, I dont know why my mother bore such a useless daughter like me. Everything that I can do, people can do much better than me.And the only thing that I can do is cry. Oh yes, crying is my best weapon. Lord, please do help this useless being.
Here I sit in my own room , in front of my beloved companion, my laptop. Something deep inside me is urging me to write out every single thing and every single thought that is running through my mind right now. But now that Im properly sitted in front of my laptop, my mind draws a complete blank. There are no more tears to be shed, at least not at the moment, they have all run dry. Because I am feeling so hopeless at the moment. This feeling of being hopeless and helpless in weighing heavily on my very heart and soul. I simply dont know where to pour all my hearts contents to now. Hopefully by writing all my current burdens and worries down, it can help to ease the load off me somewhat. Because I express my inner and true feelings much better in writing that in person, thats just who I am. I am a very shy, reserved and secretive person, an introvert, making it hard for me to open up to others. This is the only way that I can open up and tell others what I really feel inside, what Im going through at this very moment.Oh Lord, why do you let me down yet again? You are full of promises, you promise that youll never forsake us, your sons and daughters. Why everytime when I put my hope and trust in you, youll always let me down? Why do you let me fail time and time again?
Just two days ago, you raised my hopes up when my name was on the viva list. I thought that I had actually passed all my spring semester modules and could graduate this summer, despite my endless worries about the two double modules that I sat for. But today, you dashed my hopes yet again. This afternoon, when I went back to the Biosciences Building to check my final degree results, I spotted a bunch of 1s and 2:1s on the newly released list of our final degree classifications. Could I actually be one of them? Could I actually obtain a 2:1 for my degree? Impossible. My eyes slowly scanned down the list, searching for my student number. ( Yes, they are kind enough to use numbers and not names). 0332729 *see Dr.SanterOh, this isnt looking good at all. My heart pounding fast, I walked slowly up the stairs of the West Wing in the Biosciences Building to the 3rd floor where Dr. Santer, my Personal Tutors office is located. By then, I already had this sinking feeling, I knew what was coming. And yes, my worst fears were confirmed. I had failed two modules, one single module in the autumn semester, and one double module in the spring semester.
*flashback*It was on a Wednesday morning, I was up after just a few hours of sleep, rushing to complete the latest segment of my final year project, which was to be handed in to my project supervisor aka personal tutor that day. Maybe I should check the university websites blackboard to see if our Autumn semester results are out yet.A few quick, masterful clicks, and Im now logged into the blackboard. Oh, our results are out! Heart pounding fast, I click on the link which took me to the list with our results for the AN3103 module. I scan the list for my student number. I find it. Oh, oh no, it cant be. It just cant be. Beside my student number were the two letters FM (Failed module). To top things up, I was the only person in my whole class who seemed to fail that module. Ouch. I felt as if someone had just stuck the blade of a dagger right into my heart. I was so confident that I had passed that paper and that I had failed my Psychology paper. But no, I just had to be so happy to discover that I had somehow passed my Psychology paper a few days ago, and thought that everything was going on well in my life. But this just had to happen to me. All the all-nighters that Ive pulled, the notes and journals that Ive read are all for naught.*fastforward*
This is not the end of the world the kind voice, of Dr.Santer, my personal tutor, brought me back to the future. Normally, since you dont have enough credits, you wouldnt be allowed to graduate with an honours degree. But you actually have an alternative.you can chose to resit either one of the modules that youve failed, or resit both of them. Do let me know on Monday ok? I tried to put on a brave face and smile at him. But inside, Im already starting to quiver. My whole world is tumbling down on me yet again. Why does it always have to be like this? Why oh why!
You see, Neuroscience was not my first choice, it was never what I really wanted to do in the first place. Since young, I had always wanted to become a doctor. Well, I was somehow brainwashed by the people around me that being a doctor is very prestigious, youll earn lots of money and youll gain plenty of respect from others. Although now that Im older, come to think of it, I simply cant figure out what is so great about becoming a doctor. You work long hours, you get scolded all the time by your seniors, you hardly get any time for yourself, you get depressed when your patients die. Is it all worth it? I did go to a pre-medical college, beginning my journey to become a doctor. But when I applied through the UCAS form, oddly, none of the 4 universities I applied to even called me for an interview. Not a single one, even though I was way past their target mark. So one day, my college principal called me up to suggest me to do a new course instead, since my teachers observed how slow I am in handling labwork. They didnt think I could cope with medicine anyways. Well, maybe they are right. I am slow in everything and not capable of doing much. Do Pharmacy? I was asked. Ugh no. Pharmacy is too boring, just memorizing structures and names of various types of drugs. No way. (Although now I sort of wish I did take up Pharmacy- imagine how many of my friends could actually help me out) Neuroscience. Neuroscience is a really tough and challenging course, its good for brainy people like you. Ugh ok, I dont know what the heck it is about, but ok, if you suggest so- ok then Well, haha, its too late now to change course. I got myself into this mess, into the hellish situation that I cant get out of. Now I have to force myself to study Neuroscience- complete my bachelors degree in Neuroscience, then continue Masters and then PhD. Well, no matter how much I dislike and have no interest in the subject, I still have to carry on right? Because its normal for people to not enjoy what they are doing. I mean, who in this world actually enjoys what they are doing or what they are studying?
What you do yourself actually want to do? people would always ask me. My answer would be I dont know. Well, I really dont know what I want to do. A small voice inside of me whispers writing- you love writing dont you? Then another voice says Stupid girl! What can you gain out of writing? They are so many people who can write much better than you!I know Im not the worlds greatest writer, but I do need to start somewhere right? I dont necessarily want to become a famous author or anything, I just want to do something related to writingLike what?Emmmemmm like journalism?Journalism? Travelling around everywhere, having to ask people questions?Ummwell.I admit that I hate that part of itWell then WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
Oh God. I feel so hopeless and useless. I thought that you have given each of us a gift, something which we are good at, something which we make use of to serve you in some way or another. What is my gift God? What is it? Why dont I have anything that I am good at? I am slow, clumsy, inefficient, quiet, reserved, not motivated, the list goes on and on. I cant find one single positive thing or talent about myself. Why oh why? Is there a gift deep inside me that is still waiting to be discovered? I dont know. There are so many questions unanswered. I dont know who am I, I dont know why I come to this world for, I dont know why my mother bore such a useless daughter like me. Everything that I can do, people can do much better than me.And the only thing that I can do is cry. Oh yes, crying is my best weapon. Lord, please do help this useless being.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
I want more support!
Current mood: crushed
I have a passion for writing, and I have this secret desire to go into a field related with writing someday. However, I feel like do not have enough support from the people around me or even people online.
I use the Pencil Box @ FGC as a starting ground to develop my writing skills. I just wish that more people would give me support and read or vote in my stories. Sometimes it seems as if people vote for the first few times and then just completely lose interest in it. :/
And my real life friends, when I show them the story 'A Girl Named Rebecca' which I completed a few months ago, well, they did discuss it at times, but at times I just wish that I could get more encouragement and support for my writing from those around me.
Maybe writing is not what God wants me to do, and I'm being rebellious here. Maybe I should just stick to boring Neuroscience instead.
I have a passion for writing, and I have this secret desire to go into a field related with writing someday. However, I feel like do not have enough support from the people around me or even people online.
I use the Pencil Box @ FGC as a starting ground to develop my writing skills. I just wish that more people would give me support and read or vote in my stories. Sometimes it seems as if people vote for the first few times and then just completely lose interest in it. :/
And my real life friends, when I show them the story 'A Girl Named Rebecca' which I completed a few months ago, well, they did discuss it at times, but at times I just wish that I could get more encouragement and support for my writing from those around me.
Maybe writing is not what God wants me to do, and I'm being rebellious here. Maybe I should just stick to boring Neuroscience instead.
Friday, April 28, 2006
I am feeling so down!
I'm feeling so down Current mood: tired
I was feeling so down for the entire day today.
First, I always stay up at night, because that's the only time that I can study, do stuff ,etc.
And so early this morning, when I was in the kitchen boiling water, one of my housemates came up to me and scolded me, saying that I was making too much noise every night and she can't sleep. She threatened to call the police if I continue making noise every night.
Wtf?!! What do I do everynight other than sit in front of my computer and study or go online? I guess it's because of the door, it has a tendency to slam when I close it. MEH. And I'm not the only person to live on the second floor of the house. But I can't say anything because I do tend to stay up late at night.
And to top it off, my mum called me up today to inform me that my grandmother passed away. :/
I was feeling so down for the entire day today.
First, I always stay up at night, because that's the only time that I can study, do stuff ,etc.
And so early this morning, when I was in the kitchen boiling water, one of my housemates came up to me and scolded me, saying that I was making too much noise every night and she can't sleep. She threatened to call the police if I continue making noise every night.
Wtf?!! What do I do everynight other than sit in front of my computer and study or go online? I guess it's because of the door, it has a tendency to slam when I close it. MEH. And I'm not the only person to live on the second floor of the house. But I can't say anything because I do tend to stay up late at night.
And to top it off, my mum called me up today to inform me that my grandmother passed away. :/
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I hate Neuroscience!!
I hate Neuroscience!! Current mood: bored
I really hate the course that I am doing now. I have absolutely no passion whatsforever for it. And I am studying just for the heck of it. I can't imagine having to earn a living in the future setting up experimental apparatus in the lab( or rather trying to) and reading journals. I really can't. And I never can do well in my exams ( although somehow I made it to the final year). The lecture notes that are handed out to us are just very short, compact notes which contain very little information. And so we have to read as many journals as possible in order to do well in the exams, and remember all the facts like who wrote the journal and which year exactly did they conduct the experiment and write the journal. I find it impossible to remember every single thing.I don't know what to do. I feel overwhelmed right now, I don't think I'll be able to remember a single thing come exam time, which is what always happens to me each time anyways.I'm so over the course, I'm so over studying and exams. Although I really shouldn't be complaining, because everyone hates studying and exams anyways. :/
I really hate the course that I am doing now. I have absolutely no passion whatsforever for it. And I am studying just for the heck of it. I can't imagine having to earn a living in the future setting up experimental apparatus in the lab( or rather trying to) and reading journals. I really can't. And I never can do well in my exams ( although somehow I made it to the final year). The lecture notes that are handed out to us are just very short, compact notes which contain very little information. And so we have to read as many journals as possible in order to do well in the exams, and remember all the facts like who wrote the journal and which year exactly did they conduct the experiment and write the journal. I find it impossible to remember every single thing.I don't know what to do. I feel overwhelmed right now, I don't think I'll be able to remember a single thing come exam time, which is what always happens to me each time anyways.I'm so over the course, I'm so over studying and exams. Although I really shouldn't be complaining, because everyone hates studying and exams anyways. :/
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