Sometimes I wonder why I am so sensitive. I worry every single second about how others perceive me. I worry about what others think about me all the time. It's bad, I know, but I simply can't stop it. And it makes me stressed. Every single action I do is based on how I would come across to other people.
But despite that, I know that I still leave a bad impression on some people. And it's very frustrating. I try my very best to be this perfect person in others eyes- but sometimes I am still human and make silly mistakes. And I scold myself and tell myself to learn from them, but I repeat those mistakes again, and I end up being mad at myself again for not learning.
I want to be good in everything I do, but I just can't. I'm frustrated.
And the worst thing about me is that I have trouble accepting the fact of life that you can't please everyone, and that not everyone is going to appreciate or like you.
I also feel like my whole life is a waiting process.
Waiting for the day I graduate from medical school.
Waiting to become a successful doctor in the far future
Waiting patiently for my family to get to know Christ
Waiting to grow up to be a more mature and independent person.
Waiting for my Prince Charming to come.
The list goes on....
7 comments:
hello.. i know it's good to reflect and try to change our bad points - but don't beat urself up over it if you slip up now and then. as you said, we are all human, sometimes we still have flaws and do mistakes.
change doesn't come overnite, slowly changing will make the changes more lasting, altho tat way it might seem more insignificant.
and life doesn't have to be about waiting. i'm also waiting for a lot of things. waiting to graduate and start working. waiting to have my own family. but since we still hvta work to get to the goal, why not enjoy the process in btw? as is always said, it's abt the journey, not the destination.. =)
so smile and be happy more! happiness does depends alot on perspective!! ^^
Hey there,
Thanks for your advice ! I feel better now already :)
Hi Ailing - I know what you mean. Life is like that, one series of hurdles after another. I've felt the same way too - when I was in high school, couldn't wait to go to uni; when I was in uni, couldn't wait to graduate and start working; when I was working, couldn't wait to go to UK for working holiday; when I got sick of travelling, couldn't wait to come back to Perth and start pathology training; and now I can't wait to pass my exams and become a specialist...it just goes on and on! But you know why we can be happy despite all this? Because we know that there is more to life than just chasing that dream job, dream whatever...God has huge plans and expectations for us, and one day, we can be assured of a place with God - how great is that? And like you, I'm slowly waiting for my family to come to know God too. I was so happy when it started with you...and I don't know if you've heard, but my dad recently returned from a trip to Israel as a believer! So great - one of my prayers answered! So don't forget that through prayer, anything can happen! I'm praying for your mum too :)
Hey Jie,
Wow, I haven't heard....that is wonderful news! :)
I have to keep on praying for my mum's salvation.
Yeah, liffe is a continuous waiting process....when I do graduate, I would be waiting for something else :p God is teaching me to be patient and wait on Him.
Maybe it's because I am older than my batchmates, and most ppl my age have started working already. So at times I feel incompetent...
hey, Bibi, are u Ailing's sis? just wondering, are u currently working in perth..as a doctor?
coz coincidentally, i'm going to perth next year to continue my twinning.
did u go thru imu too? or thru other ways..?
Hey ZiYun, Bibi is my cousin. And coincidentally, she graduated from UWA many years ago with a degree in medicine, and is now working as a pathologist in Perth. You are going to UWA next year right? Maybe I can get her to give you some tips about the university and the place in general :)
oic. yeah im going to UWA next year, starting in jan..
it would be great if she could gimme any tips or pointers abt the uni or life over there... thanks alot!! ^^
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