The End Of Housemanship

Finally after 2 and a half years of blood, sweat , tears and toil...

Finally the day has come. The day I have been waiting for what seems like forever. 2 and a half years and more of tears, blood, sweat and toil has finally come to an end.

There were uncountable times when I felt like giving up, especially during my first posting. There were many times when I felt like housemanship was never ever going to end and I felt like I would be stuck in the same posting and would be a chronic HO forever. There were times during each posting when I just felt like breaking down and quitting and thinking whether all this was worth it. The long nights on call in each posting, the long hours working and feeling hungry and tired all the time. The past 2 and a half years I felt almost like a robot- just working all the time. I feel like I have become emotionless too.

However, family, friends and most important of all God kept me going all throughout housemeanship. My mum, who is have to admit is the main reason I am doing this in the first place, never let me give up. Whenever I came home upset about something, she would somehow manage to make it seem like such an insignificant thing after all. My stepsisters and stepfather too. My family are my rock. I wouldn’t have made it through without them.

I also have to thank my bosses throughout all 6 postings for their guidance and support, especially for those who were extremely patient with me- only God can return your favour and bless you. Even the bosses who yelled at me, I know they had a good reason to, they wanted me to learn. Each and everyone of you have left a piece of yourselves which I would always keep in my heart and cherish forever. The same to my colleagues from all postings- it was really a joy meeting all of you and working with all of you, each of you left me with memories and moments which I would cherish forever.

To all my TS sisters- thank you for standing by me and giving me encouragement and support all this while. You girls never fail to boost my confidence when I feel down in the gutters. This is for all of you, this goes to show that we Turner Syndrome girls can do just about anything that a normal girl can do and more. Although I struggled in many ways that nobody knew, but I made it!

At the end of the day, I wouldn’t say that it has been a good experience for me, a memorable one yes, but definitely not something which I would like to go through again. This experience was made all the more precious by the fact that I had to endure another extra half a year and more invisible struggles compared to others. All I know is that I have tried my uttermost best in everything I do throughout housemanship despite all my limitations.

To all aspiring doctors- I have to say- you really have to be passionate about this job to be able to go through this. You have to be really sure this is really what you want, that you want to sacrifice your time, your well being, your livelihood, your everything into your work. Otherwise it would not be worth it- please go find another job, there are so many other well respected and much more well payed jobs out there, and there are so many other ways to help people. Really.

What is next for me? I still don’t know right now, after all my goal was to just finish housemanship and take it from there. I definitely do not want to be based in a hospital setting.

I end here with a poem which sums up all 6 postings that I went through during housemanship:

I am a houseman in surgical posting
Camping for open appendicectomies
Helping in the endoscope room and OT
Reviewing post operative patients
Ensuring patients are well prepped for surgery.
I am a houseman in medical posting
There is blood C&S x 2 to take
There is a new admission to be clerked
There are some routine bloods to take
Prepare- there is a stab PD and an LP to be done
Oh no, patient has collapsed lets start CPR
I am a houseman in Ortho posting
Doing wound desloughing on a diabetic foot ulcer patient
Doing wound irrigation on an open fracture
Doing CMR and POP on a distal end radius fracture
Oh a&E has referred a case of femoral shaft fracture, prepare for tibial pin insertion!
I am in houseman in O&G posting in the labour ward
‘Caesar!’ someone screams…and I rush in with the OT chit and consent forms.
‘Vacuum!’ someone screams….and I rush in with the vacuum machine and the vacuum cup
And is that a deceleration I see on the CTG?
Doing ARM, or scrubbing in for Caesar and having liquor spill over you oh the joy!
I am a houseman in Paeds posting
I have to get accustomed to the sound of the whole cubicle of babies wailing.
Oh those delicate little veins of premature babies- and I have to take blood c&S and routine bloods from them.
And several SBs to take
Oh uh- My pager beeps and I have to standby for Caesar
I am a houseman in A&E posting- The green zone triage is piling up.
A patient comes in and screams that they have been waiting outside for hours together with hundreds of other patients.
The paramedics are pushing in a young woman on a trolley to the yellow zone. ‘Syncopal attack? Hyperventilation? PV bleed?’ We all wonder.
‘Beep’ a single buzz is heard. I rush into the red zone to join in performing cpr on a patient.
30 minutes is up and the patient is pronounced asystole. The family members wailing can be heard from outside.
But I have no time to waste as I have another ping pong case to settle- Ortho didn’t want to take so I have to convince Medical.
And again I wonder is it worth it.

And now I have closed this chapter of my life and I am ready to move on to the next.