I can't stop crying. I really ldon't know what to do or what I want with my life.
Apparently, I need to be happy all the time. I cannot show a sad face to my mom.
I have to put on a happy facade all the time, even though I feel empty inside. How exhausting that is!

Why can't she understand that I really appreciate what she does for me? I really do. I can't appear so happy and cheerful in front of her all the time. Just because she does everything for me, I have to be happy all the time.

Whenever I look less cheerful than usual- she would automacially detect it and wonder why am I not happy and be upset too and blame herself.

I don't know. I can't be happy all the time. I'm human after all. I have used up all my energy being happy in front of my staff and patients.

I am so so tired.

Lord, help me. I don't know what to do.