Why?

Why is it so damn hard for me to be happy? I have everything I could possibly need- a happy and loving family, a large house, a comfortable life, a stable job- why am I still not happy? Why do I still have to force myself to smile every single day? Why isn't there any joy inside of me? Why do I still feel like there is something missing inside of me? A huge hole in my heart, a black hole in my soul? Why oh why?

RIP

RIP TS sister Amber. Another butterfly has gained her angel wings after complications following heart surgery. Though I never got to know you, you must have been a great person.
This serves as another reminder to us Turners Syndrome girls to always take care of ourselves and never take our health for granted. We need regular checkup for all systems in our body, as our body is more fragile. Seriously, much more awareness about this condition is needed.
My thoughts go to all those Turners syndrome girls who were miscarried, never made it to birth, and those who lost their lives due to complications from TS.
I should not take my life and health for granted. I might be healthy today, but not tomorrow. Sometimes I wonder why God lets me live this long, maybe he had a purpose for me although I still don't know what it is yet.

Depressed

Depression is....forcing yourself to smile to others even when you don't feel like smiling inside.
Depression is....putting on a mask everyday when you go out and you're only able to take off the mask once you are totally alone.
Depression is....finding daily tasks such as getting up, going to work, etc just another boring chore.
Depression is....finding only momentary solitude and happiness in things you enjoy such as Facebook, going online, eating good food and attending movies. When the moment ends, so does your happiness.
Depression is.... wondering why others can smile and laugh so easily , but for you it's something you have to force yourself very hard to do.
Depression is.....often misunderstood, as people would think that you are being ungrateful, unappreciative, a sour puss, not a great person to be around, when in actual fact, that it not the case at all.
But it is real, as I am experiencing right now. And as depression is still viewed as a social stigma in my country, and no one really understands when you tell them, especially since you have everything you need in life ( family, job, huge house, etc.) and would ask ' What more could you possible want?'
Let me tell you this, depression is real. Please do not underestimate the importance of recognizing and treating depression, and please do reach out to someone who is depressed. They really need you right now. They might be feeling so alone and thinking that no one understand them, and feeling like they are sinking into a dark black hole and there is no one to help them. You might save a life.

Surely....

Surely there is more to daily routine than work, study, eat, exercise and the weekly Saturday night lepaking? Surely there is more to life than work and earning as much money as possible, getting married, having a successful career, children and grandchildren? Surely there is more to life than a huge house and many cars? Material possessions cannot fill an empty soul...

Happy International Women's Day

I would just like to wish all you dear TS sisters Happy International Women's Day. Women have come so far since the ancient times- now women have freedom to pursue education, choose their career and the number of children they want to have. However there are still some parts of the world where women are still considered as second class citizens and sons are still valued over daughters. We have come so far and yet we still have far to go. Women go through a lot in their lifetime- they go through childbirth, pregnancy, PMS, menopause, some who are not so lucky go through rape, abuse, sex slavery, being cheated on by their spouses, etc. And the modern women has to be strong enough to manage their household and their children aside from their jobs.  Here is to all you strong women out there!! 

MH370 One Year Anniversary

Exactly one year later... One of the greatest aviation mysteries in this country had still not been solved. MH370 still has not been found, not a trace of the plane nor the passengers or crew aboard the plane. Family members are still hoping and praying against hope that one fine day their loved ones will appear in front of them.
Exactly one year after MH370 disappeared, my thoughts and prayers go out to those on board MH370 and their loved ones.