I'm Tired

I’m tired

I’m just so tired.
I’m tired of being pampered by my family but at the same time being looked down upon by everyone else.
I’m tired of trying my very f***ing best in everything I do- seeing patients to the best of my ability and doing all I can for them, but getting no appreciation at all in return. Instead all I get is criticism for apparently not seeing patients fast enough.
I’m tired of just running in circles every single day, every single week. Every day is just the long drive to and from work, going to work seeing the same old patients, seeing the same old colleagues who barely talk to you, coming back doing gym, dinner, study, sleep. Life has become meaningless. I feel so empty inside. Something is missing, and I can’t pinpoint what it is.
I’m tired of my family members telling me that I should be happy as I have everything I need, a loving family, a big comfortable house, I should be happy,. But I’m not….and I can’t tell them why. I’m tired of trying to be happy for them and living up to their expectations of being this obedient daughter.
I’m just tired of living in general. Anyways, if I leave this world, no one will miss me, except my family members. They and God are the only reason why I am still hanging on right now. And my favourite shows and fanfics too.