The year that was....2007

So, yet another year has come and gone. Soon, we'll enter another brand new year.
Now being the end of the year, most of us would take the time to sit back a little and reflect on the events that happened during the past year.

For me, the year 2007 was.....not particularly eventful. But that's good in a way, because it means....peace.

a) EOS1, which I thankfully passed
b) the enjoyable and relaxing holidays after that
c) working in 'the Star'
d) 2nd year of medicine- learning about the heart, lungs, blood, gut
e) oh yes, how can I forget- attending the convocation ceremony, and officially graduating with 2nd class honours in BSc Neuroscience from Cardiff University!

This past couple of weeks has been rather relaxing for me. Sleeping and eating ( both at home and out at coffee shops and restaurants) I did manage to do some revision, although it's progressing rather slowly, I must say.

And I manage to squeeze in some driving too. Lately, I've been having more guts to drive. Before this, I was always afraid of driving for fear of getting into accidents, bumping the car, or what not. But I think it's time for me to cast all these fears aside and just take control of my car. If not, I'll never learn to drive. I did scratch the bottom of the rear of the car once earlier on this week.

And this break has improved my mood too! More rest= a more relaxed and happier Ailing.

See you in 2008!!!

Christmas

I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

This year has been a great Christmas so far.....attending Christmas service last night, listening to the church choir singing the carols, watching a puppet show....then after that going out to Colours for a late night snack and chit chatting with mum and uncle David.

Then today I had to bring my maid to shop for some new clothes.

You know, sometimes, we get so caught up in the spirit of Christmas.

Christmas shopping, decorating the house/shop, putting up the Christmas tree, sending out Christmas cards and presents, preparing Christmas dinner......until we forget the true meaning of Christmas.

Is Christmas about Santa Claus, jingle bells, presents and turkey? Probably.

But there is a deeping meaning to Christmas than that.

Remember that Christmas is the time we celebrate the birth of a baby boy....who would then grow up to save the world....to save us from our sins.

There was no room for Jesus in the inn. He was born in a barn. Such a humble circumstance He was born in. Had the innkeeper known who this baby truly is, would he have done anything differently?

My friends, as we celebrate Christmas today.....let us enjoy the celebrations, cherish in the joy of being with loved ones, the joy of loving and giving....and let's not forget the true meaning of Christmas.

Christmas, isn't Christmas,

Till it happens in your heart

A random outing....

So this afternoon, I brought my maid to the MJC area for lunch. There were so many cars, and parking was extremely hard to find. Even worse was when you're reversing your car out. The cars passing behind just simply wouldn't give way to let you get out.

Anyways, we discovered a new open market- and decided to explore it. She begged me to buy this fruit (pic above) which cost about RM16 for 1 kg. So expensive! I decided to be adventurous for a change and give it a try. Didn't like the taste of it.

Do you know what is this fruit called in English?

p.s Grrrr.... I hate slow internet connection!!!

p.p.s What do you do when someone gets mad at you for something that you know is entirely not your fault?

Cell Group E20 and the yummy chocolate cake!

Cell group E20

The yummy chocolate cake!!

On Friday, we celebrated our cell group leader- Laverne's birthday.

Her birthday was actually last week, but due to unforseen circumstances, we could only celebrate it for her todoay.

Kar Wai spent a few hours baking the cake- a delicious chocolate cake....yummm.....

Know what? I actually think I like this cell group after all. The guys especially are a friendly bunch of people :) The Kars and Kelvin....they are all so nice to Rachel and I. :)

p.s. When will a woman ever win Survivor anymore? I really thought that Amanda Kimmel would win Survivor:China. She was playing a solid game alright, making the decisions(e.g. the James boot) but letting Todd take the brunt of the potential jurors. And she was doing a good job of sucking up to the jury as well (e.g. Erik and Peih Gee before they were voted off). What happened in the end? Where did she go wrong? Courtney Yates surprised me- never expected her to even get one vote!

Sorry, just had to let this out of my system. Hah. (It's just a game. Why would I be disappointed for someone whom I don't even know personally?)

Anyways, congratulations Todd Herzog for winning Survivor:China. You played a great game throughout- and it's great that a huge Survivor fan won. You deserve it, now go spend your money wisely!

Haemato/GI exams

Ok...so it's finally over.

On the whole, I think I did better compared to the CVS/Respi exams.

Here's the breakdown of the sections:

OBA:- I really thought I did ok, that's until I went for the feedback session. And discovered that I got almost half of the questions wrong. And became depressed by that discovery. Simple,straightforward questions like the role of NADPH and G6PD deficiency- I couldn't answer because I didn't study properly. And there were several questions which I had the right answer the first time, but changed to the wrong answer. Arghh...
*I still can't get the frustration out of my head right now- I really feel like I should've done better for this section.

EMQ:- did surprisingly well in this part, 4 mistakes.

OSPE:- I could answer both questions ok, one better than the other.

MEQ:- was ok, I know that I did my best.... I think I'll get about half (or slightly more) of the total marks

I think I should learn not to compare with others, but to just compare with myself. Because if I compare my results with my batchmates', they will always do better than me. And I would end up depressed by that thought.

Why can't I just be myself and stop comparing myself with others- not only academically but in other aspects of life?

And I should learn to not look back and dwell on the past but to look ahead.

34 more hours....

To the GI/Haemato exam.

Cramming in notes and facts at the last minute........(why oh why didn't I start revision earlier? I never learn, do I?)

Arrghhh!!!!

I don't want to just barely manage a pass again....I wanna do well in this one!

Ouch!!

I cut my thumb just now, while trying to cut open the cap of a new mouthrinse bottle.
Pretty deep cut, I must say although small. Blood kept on oozing out of the wound, and blood was dripping everywhere.
But I felt fine. Now, everything is fine- cut has been bandaged- floor has been cleaned.

Cleaning room

On Tuesday, my bedroom's aircon decided to leak. And the leak was rather bad- so much so that I had to place two pails beneath the aircon.

Yesterday- I called an aircon repair serviceman to come to repair my aircon. He ended up reparing my housemate's aircon and condenser as well. He took about 3 hours- from 4:30 to almost 8 pm. And the charge....RM300- since he repaired 2 condensers at one go.

And not to mention the cleaning up I had to do after that. I took the opportunity to tidy up my bookshelf.

And I ended up not doing much last night- and feel asleep instead. That was the 2nd night in a row I did that. I woke up at 10 this morning feeling so guilty that I didn't accomplish anything last night- and so I decided to skip lectures this morning. I do feel guilty about it, but....I really had to study....I have so much lecture notes to catch up on. Plus I'm the type that doesn't really learn much during lectures, I learn more through self-studying the lecture notes.

I'm so dead for the upcoming Haemato/GI exams. :(

When will I ever learn?

Oh dear.....the mistakes that I make......

Let's take a look at the mistakes that I made this past week....

1) first thing on Monday morning, was rushing for lecture, dropped my bunch of keys in the narrow wedge between the lift and the ground

2) was not in a good mood on Tuesday night, refused to join housemates and gang for group study outside, because wanted to concentrate studying in room

3) didn't eat breakfast that FH's mum prepared on Thursday morning, because was too in a hurry

4) arrived 15 mins late for CSU session yesterday morning. Was asked to write down name in a record- for 1st warning.

When will I ever learn from my mistakes and change?

But I know that I can look back and some of the silly and random things I do sometimes and learn and extract positive lessons from them.

And I know that I have a God who will forgive me for all my sins and past mistakes.

I cried at church today when I heard the song 'Amazing Grace'. The lyrics suddenly become very meaningful to me.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind, but now I see.

:)

p.s. Wow, my coursemates are working very hard right now, not a single person had updated their blogs recently....

Eating.....at home and out....

So much food at my place..........

My city harvest cell group! Angela is the one in the middle, right side.

During the past weekend, housemate FH's parent's came over to visit for a couple of days.

When they first arrived, my jaws literally dropped open- they seemed like they were moving house or something. You see, they brought so many things from home- some supplies for their daughter- and plenty, and I mean plenty of cakes. Her mum can bake cakes very well. So yeah, our tummies were truly satisfied during that couple of days. (and also yesterday when they came back from Genting). Besides the cakes and kuih and groceries they bought (which filled up our entire fridge), we went out to eat a couple of times.

And we had breakfast and lunch and dinner all sorted out for us the few days that they were around. What a homely feeling :) ( I was too in a rush to have breakfast this morning though) Curry chicken, chicken soup, mmmm.....

The first time at a restaurant in Sri Petaling ( I forgot the name), on Saturday night. Last night, we (me, my housemates and the parents) wanted to eat at the Kuchai Lama food court (FH'ssuggestion), so her dad drove us all the way there to eat, after having heard that it was popular for its huge variety of food. But we had trouble locating the place, and drove around the area for at least 15 minutes. When we thought we found the place, there was no food court greeting us, only the run down 'pasar malam' surrounding the food court, and a huge empty ground in the middle. We later discovered that the food court has been demolished a couple of weeks ago. Meh....all the trouble to drive all the way to find the place, only to find that it's gone. So we ended up eating at a restaurant nearby.

Right now, I just returned back from a farewell dinner for Angela, organized by our City Harvest cell group. For the first time, I could feel the fellowship, and it was great :) I was a bit weary at first, because I had to wake up early tomorrow, but yeah it was worth it. Angela is going back to Penang tomorrow, and don't know whether she'll be returning or not. *sad Anyways, I ordered chicken chop with satay rice, which tasted quite nice. RM10.50 quite costly though.

Food, food and more food...


p.s. I didn't even need to utter a single word about what I've been feeling lately (this past whole month). My mum really knows me well. Last night, she literally took the words from my heart, I was surprised. She was very exact in pointing out the core of my problem. And I didn't even tell her anything about the problem. What a relief. Love you, mum!!

p.p.s One person who can really cheer me up, is housemate Rachel. *hugs

???????

Today has been a 'what the.....' day for me.

From the moment I hopped out of bed until now......things have been going totally wrong.......

a) when I stepped into the Vista elevator to go to lecture......my entire bunch of keys dropped into the gap in between the elevator and the ground. I don't know why of all places, the keys just have to drop in there. I have yet to retrieve them.

b) When I tried to check whether the keys are at the lowest floor- I almost got my head chopped off vertical gullatine style (by the closing elevator door).

c) The management promised to send someone to check- but no response up til now

d) We ran out of gas at home- I called the people to send some gas over to our place- but they never arrived

e) And now worst of all....found out late this evening that my mum went MIA ( with handphone off and everything). Not a single person knows about her whereabouts now.


Latest updates:
1) It turned out that my mum went shopping. She left her phone at home, and Celcom just had to choose that time to have their services disrupted. There's a bit of a family problem- wouldn't elaborate on that.
2) The gas arrived safety at our place yesterday evening
3) I just got back my bunch of keys!!

Me, myself and I

Some old pics that I dug up from my photobucket album

I realize that sometimes it's hard for people to get to know me or understand me better. After all, I am more of an introvert type- prefering to keep things/opinions to myself and saying things to myself in my mind rather than saying it out. As a result, people tend to see me as quiet. Plus the fact that I always tend to think very carefully what I want to say and whether it's appropriate for me to say it out first before I actually say something. Throw in the fact that I hate offending people. But the irony is- I still end up offending people anyways, with the few words/sentences that I use. And add in the fact that I always have this serious look on my face, no matter how I'm feeling (even when happy). Hey, it's my 'default' look ok? ;)Smiling actually takes conscious effort on my part, so if I smile at you, it's a meaningful one, meaning I really appreciate you. :)

I don't know about you- but I personally believe that having a natural sense of humour is a gift from God. Some people have this inborn ability to make everyone laugh and cheer up and feel at ease in their presence. I'm not one of them- although I wish too.

It does get frustrating sometimes, when I try to crack a joke- but am greeted by total silence. And then I would think 'oops....have I said something wrong?' Or like just now when I tried to create a light conversation with my housemate- and she thought that I was being too sensitive about an issue.

I guess I'm just a naturally intense person, who doesn't lighten up easily, and so people tend to become 'intense' too around me.

Do you readers know one of the main reasons I blog? (besides being an outlet for expressing my thoughts through writing and as a journal for memories).

Yes.....I blog so that people can get to know me better. I'm sure that many of you can attest to the fact that you know me much better by reading my blog. ;)

Although I'm someone who gets easily frustrated about things, a careless and a quiet type- but I'm also just someone with a simple mindset- with full of love and warmth to give people- but unfortunately not displaying it too well.

Eating disorders

Anorexia. Obesity. Two conditions that are the exact opposite- but arise from the same thing- food (too much or the lack of).

Anorexia nervosa- the eating disorder whereby the person still thinks they are fat, when they are most definitely not.

This disorder affects mostly young females who think that it's fashionable for women to be as skinny as possible.

At the other end of the scale, we have obesity, when your body stores too much fat, and this can potentially lead to health problems such as hypertension, heart diseases, diabetes, etc.

It's important to strike a balance in our diet(eat less fatty food, more vegs, less calorie intake) and in our lifestyles (more exercise!) , so that we don't end up in either extreme.

And you know what people with these 2 eating disorders have in common? Insecurity about themselves and low self-esteem.

It's a cruel world out there, you've got to admit. You get judged every single minute for everything that you do.

Sometimes I do get weary of having to put on this facade for everyone to see, just so that everyone would like me. For any small mistake that I make, I know that someone wouldn't be happy with me and will like me less. Does everyone feel this way?

A case study

Case studies.....part of a medical student's life.....
Here is a chance for you medical students/doctors/anyone else to practise your diagnostic skills.

Firstly, this is a real case study. Patient is......yours truly.

(let's skip the personal details part)

Presenting complaint:
Intense pain on the left eye

History of presenting complaint:

Onset: Left eye slightly red ( but noticeable) starting a few days ago.
Acute pain developed on left eye one day ago.

Characteristic of pain: Pain is pressing type of pain, like something is pressing on the eyeballs.
Pain occurs intermittently at regular intervals (too frequently to count), each episode lasting for at least half an hour.

Aggravating factor: exposure to sunlight

Relieving factor: rest, closing of eyes

Have you done anything about it? Went to see a GP last night. He suspected conjunctivitis and gave me gentamycin teardrops.

Progression: Slight improvement today, intense pain still when exposed to sunlight

Does it affect your daily routine? Yes, I cannot concentrate on studying!!

Besides pain, any other symptoms? No, not even itch. I thought conjunctivitis would cause eyes to itch.

Any worries? Worried that it might be something more serious than conjunctivitis. Suddenly, the gift of sight, which has always been taken for granted, becomes all the more precious.


What is the diagnosis?

I myself do not know actually. Does a GP really know much? What if he had misdiagnosed me?
Should I go to see an eye specialist?

Stardust..

I just returned from watching the movie...

And it was.....Awesome.

I was thoroughly entertained, I really enjoyed the movie. It may seem a bit too fairytale like for my liking, but still.....the entire story warmed my heart. The ending, especially, even though I predicted it from the beginning.

Well, basically the story is about.....a star. More specifically, a 'fallen star'. And a young man who was in search of a star to bring back to his love. I shall elaborate no more, in case I give too much away.

And let's just say that love is unconditional.

Michelle Pheiffer is aging fast! I remember the times (when I was much younger and loved her movies) when she looked so gorgeous. Well, she still is now, but I guess age is sort of catching up to her. Claire Danes was great. I don't know Charlie Cox ( had to search online to find out his name) , hopefully he will receive more recognition from now on. Brilliant performance.

p.s. Can you fall in love with a star?

p.p.s Can a star have a heart?

My Mock OSCE

Yep, the dreaded OSCE which I had been talking/ranting about for the past couple of weeks is over.

After many practice sessions, and many days worrying about it- it's finally over.

We were tested on 4 stations:- 2 physical examination ones, and 2 history taking.

I did quite well in the Cervical lymph node palpation station. It certainly did help that Dr. Daw Khin Win was there. She was very reassuring, nodding and acknowledging my every step. I couldn't really answer the questions she asked about TB though. She said ' You did quite well' and it boosted my confidence.

Behavourial Science station was- let's just say a bit of disorientation on my part. For one, my dumb brain didn't think of holding the tiny slip in my hand upon walking in, and so I had to waste time (one minute according to Dr. Ranjit) searching for the damn thing in my pocket. See the stupid things I do?
Another minute taken to settle down- according to Dr. Ranjit again. The patient was rather cooperative though, in that once I apologized for the delays and troubles she went through, she calmed down almost immediately. I did manage to take an entire fever history from her. But when I reached the Q&A station- there were mostly questions on lymph node enlargement. For a certain period of time, I almost thought that I was in the wrong room/ saw the wrong set of equestions. I think it's because I forgot/didn't have time to ask her about any other symptoms bothering her besides the fever.

Next- examine the patient with right pleural effusion. Dr. Htin Aung just had to be the examiner. Gah. I knew the sequence, I knew the steps. So I was doing the steps methodically and hopefully confidently. He asked me a question about tracheal deviation which I wasn't able to answer. In the end, I didn't finish auscultation! Dr. Htin Aung was looking at me and finally said ' Do you know that the time is up already?' Well, at least he didn't yell. I have to practise on time management. I didn't even start with general examination - which some people did. And yet I still couldn't finish.

The history taking station was ok. No examiner inside...just patient alone. Patient seems a bit irritated at times. But I managed to finish asking all the components, which I never managed to do during the normal CSU sessions.

So yeah....that's it about the mock OSCE. :) I have to do well for the real OSCE exams! I need more practise than others, since I tend to be slower than other people and have weaker hand and practical skills.

eta: I know my blog has been rather pictureless lately.....so my next blog post will definitely consist of pics, even if random ones :p

A time of renewal

Now is a time of reflection, renewal and self-evaluation for me.

I learn things about myself that I never realized before.

Now, if only those things are positive.

But like any other human, I'm not perfect.

And I have to try to improve myself.


p.s. pics of Sunway pyramid= hopefully up within the next few days?

Hey....just a quick update to let you readers know that the blogger is feeling better now.....full and satisfied after a trip to Pasar Malam which took up the entire night. There's no better feeling than having random stuff like chicken drumstick, meatballs, wanton mee, icecream and mango drinks in your tummy.

I still have these mood swings which seem to overtake me these past few days, and feel a little frustrated about certain trivial things, but other than that, I'm fine.

Ashamed...

Omg- today has to be the worst day ever.

Especially this morning, I just feel like hiding myself in the room, just hiding myself away from the whole world. That is how embarrassed and worthless I felt this morning.

Now I get it, I am just a stupid, useless little being, who doesn't even know how to double check on things properly, someone who just takes things for granted.

I should be ashamed of myself.

Frustrated!!

I'm just uber frustrated with myself right now.

Despite the fact that we had long weekends 2 weeks in a row.....I can't manage to finish my Haemato notes. And tomorrow GI is starting already. ( Can you tell that I'm feeling really frustrated about this?)

What can I blame it on? OSCE practises? Things just cropping up one by one? I only can recall clearly this weekend.....Friday night, went to M206 Raya open house. Saturday, went for a 5 hour MUET exam which began early in the morning, and went straight to Carrefour for grocery shopping. Come night, I was just completely exhausted. Today- had to literally drag myself out of bed for church in the morning and then replacement cell group in the afternoon.

And I ended up being in a crappy mood for almost the entire day. Could blame it on lack of sleep, hah. I admit that I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm a night person and just love to study at night, and combine this with the fact that all my activities the following day are usually held in the morning. I only have myself to blame for this. I know I should learn to readjust my timetable/schedule, but I always fail to do so. And in the end, I suffer the consequences when I feel/look like crap in the day and give others an impression that I'm always stressed.

And I'm sorry for everything that I've done wrong to anyone. I'm sorry for making anyone feel upset with me, I really didn't mean it.

Urgent notice:
Need seniors to guide me for mock OSCE!! Any senior available next week ( I know that Repro and CNS exams are coming up very soon- and that Repro exam is on Wednesday ) do contact me yea!! ;)

This week has been busy so far for me.....

Monday: lectures, PBL afternoon , choir practice and then performance at night
Tuesday: lectures, OSCE practice in afternoon, church prayer meeting at night
Today: OSCE practice early in the morning, CG meeting, case study, Haemato lab, PBL2 session (which I went through without any PBL notes!! :eek Turned out I left my PBL notes in the CSU room in the morning) *hits head Luckily I still had a set of lecture notes with me and some memory about what I read last night

I really hope to have a more relaxing day tomorrow and on Friday. 10:30 tomorrow, OSCE practice again.

Earning Money

Today, I had the opportunity to earn some money.
How- you may ask.

Well, by becoming a tour guide for IMU's Open day.

This was the first time I am doing this ever since I step foot into IMU- so I admit that I was a bit nervous at first.

Initially, it was rather boring just standing there and waiting for the visitors to come out of the Auditorium. And when they finally did, nobody seemed interested in having a tour.

But finally, just as I was about to go home, I decided to approach one lady who was standing outside the Audi and asked her whether she would be interested in joining a tour. And she said yes.
So I became the tour guide for the small family ( mother, daughter (who is in Secondary 4 and is already interested in studying medicine in IMU) and son who seems barely older than 5.)

The mother asked me a lot of questions- both about IMU and about medicine in general. Luckily I could answer all her questions seemingly confidently although I wasn't that confident on the inside. ( I not a very confident person so maybe this practice would build my confidence and self-esteem up). We managed to tour the top 2 floors- until we reached the Medical Musuem. And when the family stepped foot into the MMS.....they were so intrigued by it that they studied every single model in detail and asked a lot of questions about the models :P And the son decided to pry apart every component of the brain model, and the poor model ended up in an absolute mess. And I didn't know how to fix it.

But yeah, it was a pretty good experience for me.

On a side note- I confirmed today that my Haemoglobin (Hb) levels were very low after doing the Hb test. Maybe that explains the anaemia?

Fear

During CG earlier this week, we were asked a question ' What do we fear the most? What are our innermost fears?'

Of course different people would have different fears. For example, some people are afraid of death, others are afraid of change, others are afraid of uncertainty, etc.

For me, I think my innermost fear is the fear of losing a loved one. And I only have one- my mum. I really can't imagine what I would do without her.

Other fears for me include fear of failing (I admit that I'm a rather 'kiasu' type of person ), fear of uncertainty. Talking about fear of uncertainty, I remember how I felt when I first left home to study in college. And the first time I left home to go overseas, far far away from the comfort of home. And having to meet new people, embrace a new culture, adapt to a new lifestyle, etc. I was afraid. I didn't know what the future held for me, whether I would make friends and settle down and cope easily or not. Will I be able to graduate?

The exact same thing applies to IMU right now.

I think the worst fear ever is the fear of the unknown. That's why people are afraid of ghosts and spirits and stuff. And that's why people are afraid of change, afraid of moving to a new place. You don't know what's going to happen next. The best thing you can do is to take it one step at a time.
And let God guide you step by step.

'Kuih lapis'

The preparation


Have you ever tasted 'kuih lapis' before?


During the Raya holidays, my maid and I decided to make 'kuih lapis' because we were bored :lol

It seems complicated to make, but actually it's quite simple.


First, you take out two huge bowls, and fill them with boiled water.


Then, you add in some sugar and stir. Add in some coconut flavouring, and stir. And then, add in some flour, and stir. (for both bowls).


Then, add a little colouring/flavouring into both bowls.


(meanwhile, heat up the 'wok', and the water inside).

When it's well-mixed, pour in the mixture into a cake tin. Use separate ones for each flavour/colour.

Then comes the most time consuming part, the part which requires your uttermost patience.

Spread the first layer on top of the tin, with the tin on a metal holder placed above the boiling water in the wok.

Cover the wok, and wait for the layer to turn slightly solid, before spreading the second layer ( of a different colour).

Repeat this until you have enough layers.

Let it to cool down, before placing in the fridge.


It turned out fine in the end, except for the fact that I accidentally poured too much red flavouring in, giving the kuih a very red colour!

My mum's new shop....

One of the rooms

My office!

My mum in her office

The lobby

more to come.....

Hari Raya Visiting

This photo was taken several years ago. To my left is my paternal grandfather.

These few days, I've been so well fed!
Have been visiting houses of relatives ( from my father's side) and tucking myself into the delicious kuih and rendang and curries and what not. Hehe....
The Malays really take the time and effort to make all these yummy cakes and meals.

And my mum's new shop is finally completed. And I've to say....it looks....amazing. Very professional. You've to go visit there to find out for yourself what I mean. ;) So many rooms! And everything looks very systematic.

I forgot to bring my camera during hari Raya visiting....so, no photos :(

And I forgot to bring my camera down to my mum's shop today. Was planning to take some photos of it. Oh well, maybe sometime later this week.

You know you're a medic student when.....

I got this from zzzyun's blog.....and thought it to be rather amusing....


1) You have ever said "Netter is god"
Huh? What's that?!
eta : ooh....I just finally realized what...or rather who....Netter is. Is it referring to Frank Netter, who drew all the complete anatomy drawings and produced the complete 'Atlas of Clinical Anatomy" ( or something like that). I have the book, but it's to complicated to follow! Maybe good for pbls....especially with Htin Aung....*winks

2) You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal
Ummm.....not really. I don't have a problem with doing so though.

3)You own a 4 color pen
Nope, just 2- blue and black

4) You use more than one color to take notes
Nope. I'm lazy.......

5) You have used up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months
I guess so....but don't we all? ;)

6) You have even highlighted something YOU wrote
Yes.

7)You retype handouts given in class
Haha, if only I have the patience and time to do that. There was a time I did try to rewrite the lecture notes. But didn't last long.

8) You haven't had a date in 3 months
I never had a date before in my life. Pathetic right?

9) You haven't had a date since entering med school
Please refer to above.

10) You have not been able to remember the normal term for something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie reflux for heartburn) -
Hmm....maybe it did happen to me before, but I forgot....

11) You get more sleep in lecture than at home
I'm glad to say that I do pay attention to lectures nowadays

12) You know the correct spelling for pruritus
Is it 'puritus' or 'pruritus?'

13) You also know what it means
Haha, yeah, I know what it means. Acute inflammation and neutrophils come into mind.

14) You have ever asked a question in class
I never had the guts to do so :( In front of a class of 167 students

15) The prof. didn't understand the question
Sometimes people find it hard to understand me.

16) You didn't believe the answer the prof. gave
We have to learn to trust those more experienced than us!

17)You went to look it up to see if they were right
I wouldn't be bothered to do so, hahah

18)You can't hold a conversation on anything other than medschool
Actually, come to think of it, it might be quite true....although of course not all the time. I use goings on around the uni as a conversation stimulator.

19) You skip class to study
I used to do so in school,. but because now it's 2 lectures per day, seldom.

20) You've said you didn't do well on a test on which you beat the mean
Hah, I wish I can beat the mean! Well, I did once only, and I was pretty honest than.

21) You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail
E-mail, no. Internet yes.

22) You have a callous on your finger from writing
Yes! My middle finger on my left hand

23) More than one professor know you by name
I try to keep myself very low profile

24) When you ask a question, a new professor has said "Oh, I've heard of you"
Nah.

25) You can name more amino acids than past presidents
Yeah.

26) You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking
Yes! I think every IMU student the same.

27)You actually know what PERRLA stands for
Nope! Sorry....

28) You know all the steps of the TCA cycle
Have learnt that before, but kindof forgotten.....I hate biochemistry!

29) You do not read PTA as parent teachers association -
I read it as Persistent Truncus Arteriosus :D

30) You can remember the muscles in the forearm
Umm.....biceps? triceps? Deltoid?

31) You know the structures in the urea cycle -
as I said.....I hate biochem!!

32) You know the dermatome distribution
Nope, I don't know what is dermatome

33) You can't remember what you had for breakfast
Well, I do remember that I skipped breakfast......as usual.....

34) You can'3t spell world, much less backwards
World. Dlrow.There you go.

35) You've ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X-ray
I don't know about guys, but I'm a girl, so no.

36) You equate "morning stiffness" with Rhematoid Arthritis
Ummm.....not really, although it could very well be a symptom...

37) You actually know normal values for plasma Na
No!

38) Missing class causes you extreme stress
Umm....not really....

39) You have seriously asked someone "So how does that make you feel?"
I'm not a very straightforward person.

40) You have asked will this be on the exam
Yesh.

41) Just after the prof. said it wouldn't
More like before.

42) You identify with Deb on E.R.
I don't watch E.R. Oh....and neither do I watch 'Grey's Anatomy'.

43)You have made a medical joke
I can't make jokes :p

44) no one laughed
People seldom laugh at my lame jokes

45) You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus --
I don't like to show off, so no.

46) You don't even know which way the thing goes in your ears -
Omg, I admit that I actually didn't know until the long holidays when I practised taking BP

47) "SOB" means shortness of breath to you
SOB also means Shine On Brightly!!!

48) You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease you have studied -
Hehe, refer to my blog post a few posts back.... ;)

49) within 3 days of the lecture
Refer above

50) You have answered a question in class - nope
asked by the professor - I'm not that smart


More to come!!!

Being random

Referring back to a couple of weeks back...... http://ailingsblurbs.blogspot.com/2007/09/i-failed.html I was very sure that I would fail my CVS/Respi exam.

Well, the results were released yesterday- which was much sooner than I imagined. Good news is I managed to pass!! Phew. I don't know what I would do had I not passed. (I've never failed an exam in IMU before).

Bad news is, I barely managed a pass. Meaning that- I merely scrapped through the exams.
A lot of people did better than me- and most people got Bs ( as usual).

I am thankful that I passed when I really thought that was going to fail. But I have to study harder for future exams. Yup.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Continuing with my random streak, (which started off with the ear piercing last week), I decided to cook spaghetti for my housemates, and my cousin. First day, the tryout- I dumped the carrots in too late, so the carrots weren't cooked enough :p Following day, my housemates helped me out, and this time it was more successful- and so I invited cousin Mervin over- since his birthday is coming soon.

And I suddenly decided to join the choir too, today.

Guess what I did....

Yep, guess what I did today.....

Besides going to church and attending the SJC rocks musical (which was really great, btw......it touched on many important daily issues in life. The actors and actresses were great!)

And besides going to Carrefour.

Yes, I decided to re-pierce my ears. It was a very random and last-minute decision of mine. It actually wasn't my idea at first.....I wasn't intending at all to pierce my ears today. But then housemate Fang Han suddenly voiced out her longing to get her ears pierced today, (which can be considered a big surprise since she's not the girly type) so I decided to accompany her. And yes, I ended up going first because she was too afraid of pain.

I wasn't worried about pain. What I'm much more worried about is....the long-term effects of the piercing. You see, my skin is very sensitive, and almost anything can trigger an allergic reaction to my skin. I had pierced my ears before, when I was much younger, but then my ear holes became inflammed, and so I had no choice but to remove the earrings. And the holes gradually closed up after several years.

Hopefully I'll have better luck this time around! I do want to look pretty, or at least presentable, you know! Just a little something to raise my self-esteem. (That will be another topic altogether).

The photo can't upload at the moment- so that'll have to wait

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok....I've decided to add in more about the SJC Rocks musical. Performed by the students of Subang Jaya College, and based on the very popular 'High School Musical'- it features the daily lives of high school students. Quite an ordinary plot... But then the performances of the actors and actresses really blew me off! They far exceeded my expectations.....it was indeed a very strong and solid performance by them all. Hats off to the cast of SJC Rocks!! They must have rehearsed numerous times for the actual thing.
And the issues touched on by the musical.....about self-esteem....how we always tend to think 'How I wish I can be like this girl.....how I wish I can be as pretty and smart and popular as her'. I thought to myself....that was sooo me! Lol And the single mother-son relationship was also very touching for me, growing up in a single mother household as well.

*a huge applause to the SJC Rocks cast!!

Anaemia?

So this week marks the start of a brand new system for us sem 3s- the Hematology system. For the next 4 weeks or so, we would be learning everything about our blood system.

As I read the lecture notes and do PBL, something is bugging my mind.

Read:

Symptoms of anaemia:

tiredness,
lethargy,
feeling faint, and
breathlessness.
Poor concentration
Pallor

Tiredness and lethargy? Check. I feel tired and lethargic all the time, especially when I exercise.
Feeling faint? Yes. Particularly after exercise.
Breathlessness? Same.
Poor concentration? Check
Pallor? That is only for serious cases right? But then again, more than once, people have commented that I look pale.

Hmmm...... How about the couple of times , especially recently, when I go to the nearby park for a jog, and end up feeling to tired and weak to even walk back to vista? How about coming back from a casual basketball practice yesterday feeling faint by the time I reached home? How about not being able to donate blood each time I tried to- because tests indicate that my serum iron levels are low? Is there any explanation for that? Not enough sleep? Not bothering to take my vitamins?

Anaemia is the condition whereby our body fails to produce enough red blood cells and haemoglobin in our circulation. As a result inadequate oxygen supply is carried throughout the body, resulting in the above mentioned symptoms.

Could I be suffering from anaemia? If yes, which type might it me? Iron deficiency anaemia? Pernicious anaemia? Megaloblastic anaemia? I'd better get a blood test done.

And in the meantime, I'll continue doing my PBL.

eta: gosh!! Today's PBL was soo draining! Didn't help that the faci has to interrupt every single point we make and ask us zillions of questions- all which I do not know the answer to.

Learning to let go

I'm learning to let go of past regrets and sorrows. Still learning to forget about the CVS/Respi exam....or at least block it out of my mind temporarily.
Learning to forget the fact that none of my City Harvest cell group members (besides Kelvin) even wished me happy birthday, even though Rachel told them about it beforehand. (Instead I should remember how some batchmates came over to my place to sing 'Happy Birthday' on Friday night, and at CF too on Friday afternoon).

And I refuse to dwell over small, petty things in a negative way. I can dwell about how I feel like I'm always taken for granted because of my quiet nature. I can pout about how I'm somehow always in the wrong whenever a conflict occurs- it always seems to be my fault. I can depress myself about many things, but I wouldn't.

Instead, I'm going to praise the Lord.

Praise Him that I got my internet connection back- and can now enjoy the luxury of going online in the comfort of my own room. Praise Him for my housemates- who followed me all the way to Low Yat and helped me ask for assistance for my laptop. (with their better command of Mandarin).

Praise Him for both Juniors and Seniors, who texted me good luck and encouraging messages the night before the exam. When one receives text messages from at least one person from each semester , (from Sem 1 up to Sem 5), one knows that she is being blessed with guardian angels around her :)

p.s. why is episode 1 of Survivor : China taking soo long to download? lol


Philippians 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead.

I failed

I think.....no, I'm quite sure that I failed the CVS/Respi exam today :(

Not really in a mood to talk about it now..... the OSPE section was the worst for me- there was way too much to cover, so I left out studying the blood vessels of the upper and lower limb. And guess what? It came out, one entire OSPE question, which I wasn't able to answer at all, because I didn't study for that part. So I think I got only a few marks out of 20 for the OSPE. And as for the other sections, even MCQ which I'm usually good at, I got only half of the marks, so it wouldn't be enough to pull my total mark up. So yeah, I'm so prepared to fail. Let's hope that I don't burst into tears again when I open up my result slip a couple of weeks later.

I'm so angry, upset and frustrated with myself right now. And it's not like I didn't study. I study hard every single day.....especially for the past month, and this is what I get in return?

My batchmates are all partying happily right now, but as for me, I'm not in the mood at all to do anything.

p.s. oh, and I have only myself to blame for not doing the Respi AIR topic earlier on, and leaving it until tonight. Because one entire MEQ question came out on it....and I couldn't answer it that well, because....I didn't do the AIR topic prior to the exams!

The current state of affairs.....

If you have been reading the newspapers daily, or watching the news on television, you would've known about the recent case of an 8 year old girl, Nurin Jazlin Jazimin, who was found dead, brutally murdered and sexually assaulted after going missing for one whole month. She went missing after heading out to the pasar malam in her neighbourhood alone. Her body, which showed marks of strangulation and sexual abuse, was found dumped in a carrier bag left outside a book store.
Imagine the grief of her parents and her family.

Now, who in the world would have the heart to do such a thing to such an innocent child? She is only 8 years old. Who would have the mind to carry out such a cruel and horrifying act?

There was a time when children in this country could play and roam about the streets freely without their parents worrying about their safety. There was a time when the brutal murder of an 8 year old was unheard of. Those times are long gone. Now, parents all over the country are advised to keep a close eye on their children. But seriously though, is it possible for a parent(esp. those with many children) to keep an eye on their children every single minute? Shame to those who only know how to accuse Nurin's parents of negligence, instead of offering their deepest condolences to a family who is grieving.

No child, regardless of race or gender or personality should deserve the same fate as Nurin. We should all work together to make this country a safer place for our children to live in. It can start from the neighbourhood. Help your neighbours keep an eye on their children, and immediately report any suspicious activities. (e.g. seeing a child being reluctantly dragged away by a stranger)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's stress time again- the period of time when you can feel the adrenaline rush of last-minute straining for revision. CVS/Respi exams this Thursday, and I still have a lot to cover. My mind, as usual, says - I'm so dead again. My heart, however, tells me- leave it all up to God. And I have to learn again and again to lean not on my own understanding, but on God's grace.

I seem to forget everything that I learn! For example, today during CSU session, when Htin Aung asked us about the different types of asthma, and also the anti-asthmatic drugs, I forgot everything, even though I just revised that very topic a few days ago! Arrrgghhh.......*throws hands up in exasperation*

Talking about Htin Aung....having a 2 hour CSU session with him early in the morning is very.....draining. From the beginning, when I decided to ask an unnecessary question to the SP, he harped on that mistake of mine for at least 10 minutes. And when I subconciously rested my hands on my hips, he accused me of not being respectful towards him.
I really can't imagine having him as a PBL faci (he is giving housemate Fang Han a very tough time in PBL sessions, and the other housemate Rachel is having him for Haemato, so ....... *shudders.)

I'm feeling....

Right now I'm feeling......


Tired and exhausted and worn out

Stressed

Panicked that I wouldn't be able to finish studying for the CVS and Respi exam. (The notes are like piling up, and I have forgotten everything about CVS!)

Like this torture would never end (can't wait for Thursday man!)

Glad that I have friends who are going through the exact same thing as I am.

Glad that I have a God who cares, and who will pull me through this.

24

Last Saturday, yours truly turned.....24. *Gosh I feel old now :P*

So how exactly did I spend my birthday?

Well, on Friday night, as I was walking back home with my 2 housemates, they were chatting about how long it took me to take my shower. I admited that my showers could take up to half and hour at times (yes). Housemate Rachel then challenged me to time how long it actually takes for me to shower ( she would help me time that night) and to tell her when I was done.
Little did I know that it was just a cover story for something more important....

A few minutes before 12 midnight, my mum called me to wish me happy birthday. And as I was still on the phone with her, suddenly there was a knock on my bedroom door, and Rachel was calling for me to open it. Chong Bing is going back home, and he just wanted to say goodbye. Hmmm..... okay.....
And then, barely a minute later, yet another knock on my bedroom door.
And this time, as I opened it......I saw a whole group of batchmates standing right outside my bedroom door, with Edwina (was it?) holding a birthday cake. And they were singing the 'Happy birthday'' chorus.
I got the surprise of my life. Well, I admit that I did expect my 2 housemates to at least wish me happy birthday at midnight, but what I didn't expect was that they actually invited a whole group of friends/batchmates over to my place to celebrate!! It was so overwhelming, I almost felt like crying at that very moment.

I suddenly felt loved, a sentiment which I don't always feel. I realize that I am blessed to have such lovely friends and people around me.
Thank you so much Edwina, Lynn Xuan, Sarah Yuen, WeiLin, Hui Ling, Jian Min, Kwan, Chong Bing, Ru Fah, Ghi Waie, Suisse, and cousin Mervin for turning up, and making my day! :D And special thanks to my wonderful housemates Rachel and Fang Han for taking the trouble to organize all this! :D

(I forgot to bring my camera cable today, so will try to upload the photos tomorrow. Unfortunately, the group photo wasn't saved in my camera).

Saturday was a normal day, studying a bit for CVS- and having William come over at night to cook spaghetti for us.

Now that I am a getting a year older, I don't know what lies ahead for the upcoming year, but what I do know is that I want to be strong in my walk with the Lord, which has been....umm....kind of dwindling recently ( ever since the new sem began).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The entire Saturday, my mind was bugged by something else. You see, there has been some...problems arising in my City Harvest cell group. Ever since me, Rachel and Naomi missed so many sessions due to the fact that we went back to our hometowns for the long holidays, and because we were busy for the past week. And the cell group leader isn't happy with us at all. I really hope that we can sort this out, because.....I know that Jesus doesn't like divisions among his believers.


p.s. My PBL group finished all our PBL sessions yesterday!! Woohoo!! No more PBLs for the next couple of weeks!!

p.p.s Whoever read this, I trust you will keep it a secret ;)

What I need....

Is a good friend.

A close friend who will be with me always and stand by me through thick and thin.

A friend who I can share my deepest secrets, worries and insecurities with.

A friend who I can trust with anything.

A friend who genuinely cares about me.

A friend who doesn't just ignore me or reply me with one sentence answers, but is sincerely happy to have a chat with me.

A friend who actually takes the time to talk to me and get to know me better.

A friend who doesn't judge me- a friend who accepts me for who I am.

A friend whom I can share stories, and laughs with, without being afraid of offending the person.

A friend who hugs me and tells me that it's really ok to be myself.

And of course I'll try my best to improve myself, and open myself up more so that I can find myself a close friend, which has been sort of elusive to me thus far :)

p.s. For anyone who reads this, this is not directed specially at you, so don't take it personally.

p.p.s Tomorrow is a special day, because.......well nvm....:P

9/11

I just have to write this post today- since it's the date.

It was exactly 6 years ago. The date was September 11th, 2001.
Just another day, just another ordinary day. The weather was almost perfect- with clear blue skies.
New Yorkers- well known for their fast-paced lifestyle, are already up and about- driving to work, going to school, getting prepared for another routine day.

Then, it happened. At first glance, it looked just like a scene from an action movie. Two airplanes have crashed into the World Trade Centre! The famous landmark building is now being engulfed in smoke and flames. It all happened so fast, without any warning.
Suddenly, the entire city came to a standstill. The city, and then the entire world watched in horror as the whole building collapsed. Then came the news that two more planes have crashed, one at the Pentagon and the other (supposedly targeting the White House) crashed at rural Pennyslavania.

Thousands of innocent lives, both of the flight passengers and people on ground have been lost. People weeping over the loss of their loved ones. Where is humanity? Where is the love? What warrants such cruel act of terrorism? What has the world come to?

But through it all, there were some blessings in disguise.

Stories about brave firemen risking their lives to save others.

Diverse America coming together. People of all races, black or white, Latino or Asian, joining forces for the war against terrorism. The whole world united together in one mission- to counter terrorism.

From the bad emerges the good.
Slowly but surely, the country is regaining its strength. People would go on with their lives, the Trade Centre would be rebuilt. But the date 9/11 would never be forgotten.
Although all these events happened within the period of a few hours, the implications would last for a lifetime and beyond. The story and the message behind it, and the lessons learnt would be passed on for many more generations. That fateful day has been marked in history.

Wo hen lei

I’m tired. Tired from the hectic schedule of the past few days. Tired from getting only a few hours sleep every night for the past week. Tired of being tired.

And last but not least, tired of being made use of. How about digging out my money (well, actually it’s the money that I receive from both my housemates for their room rent) to pay for Izzi broadband (which costs RM1498 for the entire year), and then discovering that both my housemates can access the internet at home- and I can’t. How frustrating and disappointing is that? Well, they promised to share the cost, so we’ll see how it goes. I found out that it’s because my laptop’s USB port, the one which I plug the internet wire in, is spoilt. Which means I might have to get a new laptop.

Hello? I know my laptop is already almost 5 years old- but getting a new one isn’t such a simple process. How much does a laptop cost? Hey you and you- stop assuming that my mum has so much money. She has worked so hard to get to where she is today- all that she is now is entirely due to her struggles when she was younger and how she showed courage and determination to overcome all odds to become such a successful businesswoman today. Please do not take me and my mum for granted.

And you, who gave you the authority tell your friend that I have a printer that he could use? It is my printer after all, not yours. What would you have said about me if I hadn’t allowed him to use my printer? That I’m a spoilt, selfish brat?

I really want to be nice and helpful and kind to everyone, because that’s just how I am. I don’t like hurting anyone’s feelings. But then, where is the thin line between being nice and being too soft-hearted? If we’re too nice, we get taken advantage of.

I need to learn to stand up for myself and my own rights – without coming across as too harsh or abrasive. But then again, people tend to be intimidated of me without me having to raise my voice at them or show them my true colours.

p.s. On a side note, the IMU Charity Run was held this morning. I was tending the ‘Patch for Love’ stall, which sold hand-made stuff. It’s safe to say that it wasn’t the most popular stall at the carnival, mainly due to the cost of the stuff being sold. (Well, I didn’t set the price). But it was a good experience

eta :I'm so careless- I can't believe it myself. Last Friday, I left my pendrive in E-lab 2, and also the 'Medical Embryology' book which I borrowed in the library. Gah!! Luckily, someone found my pendrive and is going to return it to me tomorrow. When will I ever learn to be more careful?

Busy, tired and worn out!!

So it's only 4 days into Semester 3, and I'm already feeling kindof tired and worn out. I've been catching very little sleep for the past few days.

Everyday, there is endless work to be done. Lecture notes which are already starting to pile up. PBLs- having enthusiastic groupmates who want to get it all done asap means having PBL session 2 every few days! And not forgetting the AIR topic- both CVS ( which we were supposed to get done during the holiday/rotation period, but because, you know......the deadline is 12th September)..... I know, I know, we are first-class procastinators!

And in just 3 weeks time, we'll have our CVS and respi assessment combined. I did study for CVS during the holidays, but I was studying very slowly as I was still not in the mood then. Oh man, I'm so gonna pay for this! :p

This weekend will be packed for me- helping out in the Charity Run Carnival and having to catch up with lecture notes, do AIR topic and of course PBL- all within one weekend.

Today's PBL session went on well :D I think I presented my part quite clearly. And my new PBL groupmates turned out to be quite a cooperative and enthusiastic group.

Today- we had a briefing about the brand new exam format, which we would be exposed to beginning the upcoming summative assessment.
They are introducing new type of questions:-
a) EMQ- extending matching questions- whereby a minimum of 10 choices will be given, and each answer can be selected either once, more than once or not at all
b) MEQ- modified essay questions- whereby a clinical scenario is given, and we have to answer questions about the case given. The catch is, the questions will be given in 3 parts- and once you've answered part A, you have to put it in an envelope. And when part B comes, and gives you a hint about the answer for part A, unfortunately, you wouldn't be able to go back to part A anymore.

I remember the incredulous laughter erupting from the back of the class when Dr.Thani showed us some samples of the questions this morning.

Why oh why does my batch always have to be the guinea pig batch? The very first batch to have EOS 2 instead of EOS1, the first batch to have 50 as a passing mark ( as if that helped) and now....the first batch to have this new exam format. And not forgetting......the first batch to have OSCE as an entirely separate assessment altogether.

Oh well, after a long break- what can I expect? It is going to be a hectic and crazy month for me!

Semester 3....here we come!!

Yep....today is officially the start of a brand new semester for me and my batchmates.

We have been in IMU for exactly one year now, and we are now officially 2nd year medic students. Woohoo!

I've to admit that I'm not really geared up yet for this new semester. After the long holidays, the longest I've had since a long time, it'll take quite a while for me to adjust back to this routine.
PBLs....CSUs...AIR topics..... it has been quite a while since I've done any of these.

Today we had our first PBL session of the semester. I still don't know my faci's full name......an Indian guy with the initials S.A.

My new PBL groupmates seem to be quite a hardworking and dedicated bunch....we'll see how it goes. Our group's concept is to read up on everything, but each of us concentrate on one particular topic. I think I like it this way. :)

During lunchhour today, right before PBL session, me and several friends decided to sneak in a little fun and drive out to Secret Recipe for lunch. This is the second time I've been to Secret Recipe within the past few days...( the last time with Lynn Xuan in Kuching on Saturday). I love Secret Recipe! The spaghetti is delicious, so are the pies, and the chicken steak, and the cakes and cookies.....yummm...... The food is rather expensive though.

Yesterday..... Lynn Xuan and I were on the same flight back to KL from Kuching. It was supposed to be a 1 and a half hour flight, and we were supposed to land in LCCT at 1.30 pm.
Everything was smooth going at first, and the announcement had been made that we were going to land at the airport soon. But then, as the aeroplane was about to land, something unusual happened. The plane suddenly flew upwards again without warning. We were surrounded by dark clouds literally, and the entire plane was shaking and wobbling. It turned out that the plane couldn't land due to bad weather. That few minutes, when the pilot was struggling to fly the plane back upwards, was scary. (You've to be in the plane to understand what I mean). The plane was flying very low, and it seemed like there was trouble trying to get the plane to fly back upwards. It was the first time the prospect of death actually entered my mind. What if something actually happened? I wouldn't be able to see my family, my dear mum, my friends again. I would never be a doctor!
But I was feeling surprisingly calm. It was as if something within me was telling me that everything was going to be ok. And it was then I realized that it is all in God's hands. He is our Creater, so He decides when exactly we should enter and when we should leave the earth.

Anyways, the plane eventually stabilized, and the flight was diverted to the Penang Airport. We stayed in the plane for half and hour at it was stationed at the airport, before it was given the green light to proceed on back to KL. What a journey! ( I wished that I could go down and go sightseeing in Penang! Hah)


p.s. So news has it that nasioncom has gone bankrupt. And so the internet connection at my place is down. Gah!!!!!

Busy....busy.....busy.....

In the Damai Beach hotel room.

At the Sarawak Cultural Village

The past few days have been busy times for me. Practically every single day, there's someone to meet up with....someone to entertain.... not that I'm complaining, hehe.

If you scroll down....just 2 entries ago, I was complaining about how booring and lonely it is to be back home in Kuching.
Then, this week, actually not long after I made that post....things took a 360 degree turn. I was being kept occupied every single day.

On Wednesday and Thursday... my cousin brought two Japanese friends over to Kuching, it was my job to organize their Kuchng trip. You see, my cousin went to Japan as part of a Youth Exchange programme for one month recently. And now, one of her hosting families came over to stay at her place. and because Sibu is a small town, it was planned for them to come over to Kuching.
Anyways, with Uncle David doing all the driving, and me the planning......we brought them to places such as the Sarawak Musuem, the pottery factory, the Sarawak Cultural village.....and last but not least...Damai Beach! Haha.

Then yesterday, I met up with Gillian, one of my friends when I was in UK. *Hey, if you're reading this.....do give a shoutout ya! ;)

And today.....managed to meet up with Lynn Xuan. Hope you enjoyed the free facial!! ;)

And tomorrow, I'm heading back to KL, for the start of a brand new semester. I'm so not looking forward to doing AIR topics, PBLs, catching up with lectures.....

But nevermind, I have friends and housemates to help me get through this.

I feel loved :D


p.s. My camera ran out of battery. And I still haven't really figured out how to transfer pictures from hp to camera. So photos will come in later.

p.p.s Comments are very much appreicated! I wonder how many of my batchmates actually read my blog. *points to the previous post* ;)

To M206.....(and my orientation group)

My orientation group- The 'Anus-thetic' group

I remember exactly one year ago....I was lining outside the registration hall at the 4th floor of IMU's Bukit Jalil campus. My eyes darting around at the unfamiliar surrounding and scanning the unfamiliar faces. I remember the feeling of uncertainty, the cloud of doubt that was still hovering over me at that time. I had just rushed back to Malaysia from UK. I was supposed to do Masters in Neuroscience, and not medicine. It was a last minute decision on my part, after I was given only less than a minute to ponder over it. And I didn't know then whether it was the right decision or not, and whether I would regret it. And being the introvert that I am.....I didn't know whether I would fit in or not. (with people 4 years younger than me).

I remember telling my mum that I wanted to return to the UK! And that it was wrong, just wrong for me to rush back here, to start all over again, from year 1.

And I remember sitting there, looking and feeling confused, with my orientation group, as seniors walked freely in and out of the room. I remember asking myself what the heck was going on, what 'IMCC' thingy were these seniors talking about. And which of them were our O.Os? Well, my orientation group mates were looking as bewildered as I was! :giggles

And I recall returning back from a weekend in Kuching just to sit for my IELTS exams. And feeling lost as my orientation group were busy preparing the props for the following week. They'd had the time to bond throughout the weekend, and I barely had time to get to know them.

Well, gradually, I got to know everyone in the group- members and O.Os.....and then slowly got to know more and more people from my batch. And my housemates are the best housemates that I can find!

And I haven't regretted the decision to study medicine in IMU after getting a degree ( well, albeit the occasional complaining of 'I still have so many more years to go!')

Here is a dedication to each and everyone of my batchmates. M206 rocks!! We're the best.batch.ever. :P Ok, I maybe exaggerating, but yeah I love my batch.

Here's a dedication to all my PBL groupmates so far, my rotation groupmates ( rotation group A is the best!) and to everyone who has taken the time to talk to me :)

And thank you Lord, for making the past academic year and eventful and smooth sailing one for me. Now, as I proceed on to the 2nd year of medicine, and 3rd semester in the Bukit Jalil campus, I pray that you continue to give me grace in my studies and carry me through this hurdle. Amen.

One year has come and gone since I've stepped into the IMU. And I'll treasure the memories of the past year, and hope for more sweet memories in the upcoming year.

Lonely...

Yes, that's how I've been feeling lately.

Hums to the tune 'Lonely......I'm so lonely......I've nobody........I'm on my own'. Heh.

It just seems like I've got nobody to chat to over here in Kuching. My ex-classmates are all back in Australia, UK , or wherever else. ( I don't have much things in common with them anyways).
And my family, which I am usually very content to spend time with, well let's just say that they are all caught up in their own activities. My mum went to Brunei and Labuan for about 5 days. So every dinner it's just me and Uncle David who doesn't mind taking the trouble to pick me up for dinner every day without fail. Even his younger daugther now has her own stuff to handle- her own things to do.
So the only person I really talk to nowadays is....yes, my maid at home. Well, at least she has a companion in me.

The things is, I don't even feel like I belong here anymore. No friends back home in Kuching....even my own family....I don't feel like I have much things in common to talk about to them. When they talk about the centre's business, I don't have much to say or add in , because I am not working there. And when I talk about my studies/ medical terms/ etc. it's like I'm speaking in a foreign language to them. I'm the only person in my family who is university educated. And the only one who is English educated. As a result, I'm simply not in the same league as them. It's not that I'm looking down at them or anything, in fact it's the other way round.....them looking up so highly on me like I'm a VIP or something. Hey, I'm only a 2nd year medical student, I still have a long long way to go to even becoming a junior doctor. There's no need to treat me like that.

On another note, I don't even know my own car. I didn't know that it has a security system, such that I have to press the tiny red button beside the steering before I actually can start the car engine. How? I want to drive around town and hang out with friends like other teenagers, but there's no one to hang out with, no place fun to go alone.

At least back in KL, I have people to talk to, although I don't really have any close friends. My housemates, although they both have much more in common with each other than with me- well at least they never leave me out in their activities. :)

So, for the past few days, I've just been studying CVS (albeit very slowly), and watching Astro.
- the finale episode of 'Lost' was very good! So was 'D.O.C', the Sun-centric episode.
- yes, I watch 'Heroes' too. I've come to like it and enjoy watching it (although I'm not really into it yet). K..Hiro Nakumara is adorable, Claire Bennett is cute, Nikki Sanders is hot, Peter Petrelli is cool.... Ali Larter is such a great actress! Acting as two people simultaneously (of different personalities too), it's not easy.

I'm so not looking forward to returning to IMU for Semester 3. I've had a look at our Respi timetable, and boy, is it packed! It'll take quite a while to get myself adjusted back to this lifestyle....being on holidays for so long.


p.s. My auntie 'booked' me to be a 'tour guide' for her, my cousin and a few visitors who are coming over to Kuching next week. I mean, it's a good excuse to go to Damai and have fun.... but I dunno why I'm not feeling so enthusiastic about that....it's like I'm feeling so lazy to do anything nowadays :/

p.p.s M207 orientation! Good luck to the organizing committee, I'm sure you guys will do a great job!!

Well, it's been a while since I've made any 'Emo' posts, heh?

e.t.a And after I make this post....all of a sudden I'm fully booked for the entire upcoming week.
:lol

A lesson to be learnt....

Sometimes, growing up, we have to learn lessons and experience things ourselves to further shape us and prepare us for the real world. These lessons, no matter how painful they may be at times, are an essential part of growing up.
As humans, we all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. But we learn from our mistakes. If we fall, we get up and try again.

Anyways, I learnt a precious lesson yesterday- the lesson about not jumping into conclusions without further investigating the matter at hand. Don't assume that someone else is thinking (A) , when actually that's not really what that person is thinking about at all.

Yes, I should learn to handle such situations better next time! And not rush into hasty conclusions. *nods*

Anyways, the past few days have been sooo boring, so much so that this boredom is playing tricks with my mind and causing negative thoughts to enter.


p.s. Had a look at mum's newly renovated shop yesterday. Cool stuff.

Do you believe in.....

Ghosts?

Well, as some of you probably know, this is the 7th month of the Chinese lunar calendar. Which means that the restless souls are free to roam about in the living world, free to wander among us.

I do believe in them.....I mean I believe in the devil and evil spirits. They are always around, out to attack us....spiritually.

I never had any personal encounters with one...( nor do I wish for such a thing). I've heard plenty of stories though, of course.

KKB...the place where IMU students have to visit as part of the Rotation posting, has many spooky stories about it. People say that the Nurses hostel ( where the girls stay) is haunted, and that one of the houses at Taman Seruling is haunted too! As a result, us girls wouldn't usually go to the showers alone.

I don't have many personal experiences to share. Is the sound of someone hammering away at the next door house ( in Vista B) at 4 am in the morning included? *shrugs* Maybe.

I have one funny story though. You see, the night I returned to Kuching, my aunt and uncle were staying over at my place, occupying my own bedroom, and so I had to share a room with my mum, which also meant sharing her queen-sized bed with her.
I had a rather restless sleep, so to say. In the middle of the night, I felt a hand sweep across my face and jumped up startled. I looked over, and my mum was fast asleep. So, of course you know what I assumed it was.

Well, to cut the long story short, it turned out to be my mum after all, when I asked her the next day. Heh.


p.s. I am sick! Have running nose and sore throat :(

IGTA

Guess what IGTA stands for?

Yes.....I got tagged.....again! By Kelvin.

Anyways this is how it works:•
Each player must post these rules first.
• Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
• People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.• Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

I was thinking of doing a post like this anyways.....telling about random facts about myself.

1) I have a slight obsessive-compulsive disorder when it comes to washing my hands. I have to wash my hands with soap everytime I use the toilet. Am I just practicsing good hygiene, or have I gone overboard? People point out that it may be the main reason why I have eczema on my hands, but I simply wouldn't listen :( I use a very mild type of soap ('Dove') and the dermatologist I visited said that it was due to contact with strong detergent (read: not normal mild soap).

2) I have a bit of a hoarding disorder. I tend to keep some things for sentimental purpose. I tend to keep SMSes, emails, bochures, etc. for a long time without bothering to delete them- thinking that one day when I'm bored, I'll look through them all again and they would bring back some memories.

3) I LOVE junk food! I can gobble up an entire packet of crisps within half an hour. I'm not kidding. And whenever I go marketing with my housemates, a packet or two of 'Cottage Fries' is a must on my grocery list 8o

4) I like vegetables, but I don't like eating fruits. I don't know why. The only fruit I would consider eating are grapes, and well, maybe an occasional apple or banana

5) I had to undergo an operation to remove my tonsils when I was 5, due to tonsilitis. Had to be hospitalized for the operation. Being the naive and innocent person I was, I bought my mum's and aunt's story that we were checking into a hotel. When the effects of the anesthetic wore off after the operation, I remember the very first thing I said when I saw their faces was.....'I hate you all!'

6) I had to have stitches when I was about 4 or 5. You see, it was the first time I bathed myself then, and I applied soap on the soles of my feet. And slipped in the bathroom, knocking my chin hard on the floor, cracking it open. Had to have several stitches on the chin, WITHOUT ANESTHESTHETIC. My mum and aunt were practically pinning me down, as I howled in pain.

7) I love the internet. It's like my refuge, my comfort zone, my haven, the place I can wind down and relax. Maybe that's why I'm an introvert?

8) I have zero patience when it comes to reading books. I would tend to flip through to the last chapter and then know the ending before actually starting to read the book! Very bad habit, I know! The same goes to series/movies/ reality shows. I love to be spoiled!


*list deleted since nobody seems to be in the mood of being tagged....hehe! ;)
Instead, I'm gonna make this into an open tag- which means that anyone who is up to doing this tag can do it.