Buck up, girl!!!

Yes, I should be saying this to myself.

Only one more month left until the End-of-Semester exams. And yet I am still not really feeling the sense of urgency yet. Well, maybe yes, but I only just caught onto the exam fever this past few days.
For the entire weekend, I didn't do much revision at all. Friday night, I watched American Idol- and slept early because I was too tired ( read: hardly sleeping the night b4 due to PBL). Saturday morning, I went to Cell Group @ Laverne's place ( and went to have Dim Sum after that), Saturday night, I went to the 'Sold Out' concert at ECF church (which was great, btw. I loved the songs they sang, and my favourite parts were when the children went up the stage, and when they showed the video of the Orang Asli). Sunday, went to church as usual and walked to Carrefour in the evening.
Each time I returned home, I would be too tired to do anything else except.....rest and sleep. Omg, I am so disappointed in myself. I currently don't have the motivation to study at all. Everytime I have my notes in front of me, my eyes would feel droopy and I would end up taking a nap or just sleeping the night away. What is wrong with me? :(

Today, I finally felt that yes....it is crunch time for revision. When I walked into the MMS (medical musuem) this morning, and saw a few of my batchmates camping in front of the models with their notes, it finally hit me.....I have to really start studying hard......I mean really hard for the upcoming EOS!!

I have to admit that I am becoming a bit weary. Going to Cell Group and church is becoming almost like a routine- I practically had to drag myself out of bed on Sunday morning to go to church. I felt like I should be spending time at home doing my revision. Is there anything wrong with me? Maybe I need some 'Time Out'. I need time at home to rest and really spend personal time with God, instead of rushing from this place to the next- listening to worship songs and sermons about Him. The sermons I listen to all contain a message which I already know and am familiar to- they no longer have any impact on me. Maybe what I really need is a personal encounter with God myself....a personal experience with Him, which makes Him real and making my journey with Him more refreshing. I don't want to 'Burn out'- a phenomenon we were discussing about in CG today- and making everything lose its actual meaning.

Also, I seem to have this weary and dreary feeling in my heart almost every day lately. It's as if there is a burden in my heart which I cannot point out. t's weird.....I feel totally fine....everything is going on ok in my life right now ( except for my lack of discipline in revision, haha). So I really don't know where this feeling comes from. I, being the person I am- worry about the tiniest stuff- like saying something that would make ppl unhappy with me ( oh yes- that is my main concern!), worry that people are judging me and don't like what they discover about me and so on.

I don't know. Maybe what I really need is just some 'Time Out!'

Tagged!!

This tag is supposed to be from Lynn Xuan- but I got tagged directly from Kelvin. Hah.

LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: Noor Ailing (you wanna know my last name, come and ask me personally ; )
Birth Date: 15th September 1983
Current Status: single
Eye Colour: black
Hair Colour: black
Righty or Lefty: a righty

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
My Heritage : I'm pure Chinese by blood, although my full name doesn't indicate so
My Fears : fear of the unknown, fear of losing a loved one
My Perfect Pizza : Hawaiian chicken supreme!

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
My Thoughts First Waking Up : *blank
My Bedtime : very variable- and can stretch right up to 5-6 am
Most Missed Memory: fellowshipping with friends in Cardiff- going to the Japanese restaurant- Ichiban after church on Sunday- walking across the road for cell group on Friday nights

LAYER 4: MY PICK.
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's
Single or Group Dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Adidas, because i have a pair of Adidas sports shoes
Tea or Nestea: nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: both!! if I have to choose, chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino!!

LAYER 5: DO YOU...

Smoke: no
Curse: nO.
Take a Shower: yEs.. duh
Have a Crush: no ( serious)
Think You've Been In Love: no
Go To School: go to uni, yes
Want To Get Married: IF I find Mr. Right
Believe In Yourself: no- that's one of my weaknesses
Think You're A Health Freak: no- I'm a junkie :p

LAYER 6: IN THE PAST.
Drank Alcohol: no. tried one sip- yes.
Gone To The Mall : yes
Eaten Sushi: yes!
Dyed Your Hair: no

7.HAVE YOU EVER...

Played A Stripping Game: no!
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: thought of doing so, but failed

LAYER 8: AGE YOU'RE HOPING...

To Be Married: 30+ or never

LAYER 9: IN A GUY...
Best Eye Colour: black
Best Hair Colour: black
Short Hair or Long Hair: short, please!

LAYER 11: WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
A Minute Ago: doing this tag
An Hour Ago: taking a short nap
.4.5 Hours Ago: in uni, having PBL and lectures
1 Month Ago: studying medicine
1 Year Ago: studying Neuroscience in Cardiff

LAYER 12: FINISH THE SENTENCES..
.I love : God, my mum, my housemates, my friends
...I hate: male chauvenists, arrogant people
I hide: myself in my room when I need some private time
miss: friends in Cardiff

Ok....I wouldn't tag anyone specifically......anyone who feels like doing it is welcome to :)

A dedication to........

Miss Rachel Teng Li Cin, who turns 20 today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR HOUSEMATE!!!

My mother tongue is English, yours is Mandarin.

I am a (self-proclaimed) spoilt only child, you are the eldest of 4 siblings who cares so much about your younger sisters and brother

Your father is your hero, mine is my mother.

You love doing housework and don't mind being a housewife one day, I could never ever in my life picture being a housewife, doing household chores all day long and serving a man.

You love watching Korean dramas, I do watch them together with you during dinner, but I am not so into them.

I love reality TV, you don't even know what reality TV is about.

You watch 'Superstar' on Saturday and Sunday nights, I watch 'American Idol' on Friday nights.

You listen to Chinese songs, I listen to English songs.

But, despite of our differences, we do have one thing in common, that is the love of our Lord, Jesus.

Thank you so much for coming into my life, and showing me how to love, to care, be tolerant and patient, share with others. And thank you so much for not letting my walk with Jesus slip away when I come back here to Malaysia. Instead, you bring me to a great church over here, discuss about Jesus with me, you helped strengthen my walk with Him.

You are one of the kindest and most caring people I've ever met. You always put others before yourself. One example, you are so used to giving in to your younger siblings, you seldom ever keep or buy stuff for yourself.
And you are so patient and tolerant towards me and my unpredictable behaviour.
And your faith in God is amazing too. You always tell me to have faith and trust in Him, something which I am still learning and struggling to do.

I thank God everyday for bringing you into my life. :)

The epitome of 'blur'

Is me.

Right after our PBL 1 session this afternoon, I took out my handphone to call the Human Resources director of 'The Star' to sort out my electives stuff. Then I vaguely remembered putting it in my bag.....or did I?

Anyways.....after that everything went on as usual.....I went back home for a while, then attended lectures....

When I returned home.....I suddenly realized that.....my handphone was not in my bag!! What next? Of course I panicked!! I searched my entire room, the kitchen, the living room.......it was nowhere to be found.

I rushed back to uni...and bumped into Kevin and Caryn on the way. I must have looked rather flustered.....anyways after I told them what happened they advised me to go to the Lost and Found or the security. I quickly barged into PBL room 17 to check.....no sign of my beloved Nokia. I rushed up to the LT2.....no handphone. No one else had seen it. By then, I was getting discouraged. First, I lost my wallet last week, and now my handphone. Way to go Ailing.

After lodging a report at the Lost and Found.....I went back home to double check just in case my handphone was actually lying around somewhere at home. I searched my entire bedroom again, but to no avail.
Frustrated.....I knelt down on my knees and performed a short prayer to God, asking Him to help me locate my handphone. I was almost in the verge of tears.

After a few moments, suddenly something entered my mind.....my labcoat, which I remembered keeping in my wadrobe as soon as I returned home betwen PBL and lectures. I walked to my wadrobe, picked up the purple plastic bag containing my labcoat.....and saw my beloved handphone tucked comfortably together with my labcoat.

And heaved a HUGE sigh of relief.

Maybe God does indeed answer prayers after all.

A little mishap....

Haha....something a little weird happened to me today.......

At 6:30 pm, housemate Li Cin and I returned back home, both tired and worn out from a long day of CSU (for me), a trip to Low Yat , dance class, MMS (for her) and lectures (for us both). (Housemate Fang Han stayed behind at uni for dinner).

I took out my bunch of keys, and finding the grill key, used it to turn open the grill door. But it wouldn't bulge. I tried again and again, but to no avail.
Li Cin then tried to open the grill using her own key, but the grill wouldn't open either.

We looked at each other puzzled. Is there something wrong with our grill door? We suspected that the grill lock was jammed somehow.

So I rushed down to the guard house to call one of the guards up to assist us. Try with all his might, he couldn't open the grill as well.

He went down, and a while later came up with a number for us to call. Not thinking clearly, I immediately dialled the number only to discover that it was the number of a company specializing in grill locks ( I think). They would come to repair our grill lock.... but we would be charged RM 100 for their services. What?! RM100 just to repair a damn grill door which suddenly became so stubborn through no fault of our own? This is ridiculous.

Anyways....our landlady was out for a dinner and would only be back at 11pm. So the last resort is......haha....that's right....call Mum. After a bit of discussion, she passed the phone to her friend who told me to turn the key on the lock while shaking the grill door. Filled with doubt, I tried and of course failed. My housemate Li Cin decided to just give it another try.
Turning the key in the lock and shaking the grill.........and suddenly the grill OPENED.

So the conclusion of the matter was......we didn't need to waste RM100 after all......and my housemate learnt that she can be even stronger than a security guard working at vista B.
Lol!!!

p.s. A woman won the latest season of 'The Apprentice (US version)!!' It's high time too, because out of the 5 winners it produced so far, only one was female ( Kendra Todd). Maybe Donald Trump isn't sexist afterall. (ehem.....I don't think he actually is, but can't he just start accepting truly competent female candidates for the show?) Congrats to......alright I wouldn't mention her name, just in case Malaysian TV suddenly decides to air this season and some of you actually watch the show and do not want to be spoilt. Tv3, please stop airing reruns of season 5 of the Apprentice, and just freakin' start airing this latest season 6 already!!

p.p.s Did you guys watch 'American Idol' last Friday night? Let's just say that all is fair and square now .....in the world of singing competitions.

p.p.s Do check back on this blog for the next couple of days, because I have a dedication post coming up then for someone special. *Hint* They are mentioned in this blog post.

What a frustrating day!!

This is one day late, but yesterday can be considered as one of the most trying days for me.

Early yesterday morning, I was due for a community clinic visit to Jinjang with a few of my PBL groupmates. We were lucky because according to the Sisters in the CSU unit, Jinjang is the only clinic which is air-conditioned. (It is the newest and most advanced among all the clinics that our batch are to visit). But it was also the furthest. And yes, the clinic did indeed live up to the expectations that we had of it. It was fully air-conditioned, looked new and sophisticated and well-maintained and it had a spacy and comfortable environment.

The first half of my time there, I spent interviewing random patients and taking their personal details, medical history, family history, etc. Besides recording down patient histories for the purpose of writing our report which is due next week, we were also given a task of 'screening' patients for diabetes and hypertension. We were given a sheet of paper by the nurses which instructs us to record down the BMI, blood glucose levels , etc. of a seemingly healthy visitor. The conditions being.....this screened person is not supposed to be a current diabetic or hypertensive patient. We had trouble trying to find someone suited for this criteria, because almost all the people we interviewed were either diabetic, hypertensive, or both.
I had this technique of searching for English-speaking patients......approaching them with the opening question ' Do you speak English?' I know this might come off as a bit rude.....but you see English is the only language that I am really comfortable with. I can't speak fluent Malay......my Mandarin is only good enough for normal conversations, but not when more complicated or bombastic words come into play. This is going to be a serious problem when I go to Seremban for my clinical years, as apparently most of the patients there are non-English speakers. *notes to self to polish up her Malay (with the Malays) and her Mandarin speaking skills ( with housemates).
For the second half of the time, we took BP and blood glucose levels of some patients. The nurses chased us out halfway as there was a long line of patients waiting outside and we were holding up the queue.

At 11:30, sister Cheah arrived and briefed us about how we are supposed to go about writing our reports. And she told us about how last week one student lost her wallet while visiting one of the clinics. Wallet......suddenly I remembered. I dug into the pocket of my labcoat only to realize that my wallet was no longer there. I waited impatiently for Sister to finish her speech before darting to the toilet which I visited earlier on, only to find that it wasn't there as well. I traced back my steps to the Diabetic room where we all left our bags. It wasn't there. It was then that one of my groupmates told me that she actually saw my wallet lying on the floor beside my bag. But she just left it there because she didn't know whose wallet it was. It must have dropped out of my labcoat pocket when I was trying to take something out of my bag. But now it's gone! She should've alerted the nurses in the room when she saw it, and they would've kept it. But no. Sigh. It's ok, I don't blame her at all, it's my own fault for being so careless.
I don't know why I tend to be so careless at times. I always remind myself to be more careful when I lose/misplace something, but I never learn my lesson :(
Luckily, I kept my original IC and my ATM card somewhere else so there is nothing valuable inside my wallet at that time except money. Nevertheless, I left the clinic with a heavy heart, knowing that I would never see my wallet again.

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The second 'test' of the day happened in the afternoon. I was tired and upset after returning from the clinic so I took a nap.

Now, we were supposed to collect our summative 2 result slips at 3:45 pm in LT2. I arrived a bit late.....thinking that we could collect the results anytime between 3:45 and 4pm, when our lectures start. But when I arrived.....the person with the result slip just left the Lecture Teatre.....with my result slip! I and another girl tried to follow her, but to no avail. Soon....a group of us were gathered outside the AAD, waiting for our result slips. We were told that the lady with the result slips was suddenly called in to a huge convocation ceremony which was held at the 4th floor at that time. We were told to collect our results after our lectures.
But it turned out that she went home before our lectures ended.

It was really a test of patience for me. Maybe God was trying to test my patience, teaching me to wait. So I had to wait for another night to know how badly I did in my assessment. I might get a B, C or even a D.....(an A is near impossible, I knew)....I didn't know then. All I could do was to wait. Well, I told myself that it was just another night, anyways I had been waiting for the results for 3 whole weeks already.

So I.....sang the night away! I and my cell group members went to Galaxy KTV in Sunway for a karoake session. It was a high class place! Buffet dinner was provided, complete with dessert and everything. We started off with Chinese songs which I couldn't sing, but for the second half of the session, we sang English songs.....which caused me to sing my heart out until my throat was dry.

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So today.....I finally received my Summative 2 result. Let's just say that had I been in a senior batch (M106 upwards), I would've failed the exam. But because I am in M206, and starting from my batch onwards, the passing mark is 50, I did pass. B-. Definitely not too good a grade, I know that I should've done better. I have to try my best to do much better in my End of Semester exam in May! But at least it wasn't a C ( I would've cried if it was). And I remember a lecturer telling us that just because our passing mark is 50, it doesn't mean that the standard would be lowered. Rather, they would mark our papers so much so that we still need to get at least 65% of the questions correct in order to obtain a 50%. Quite a large drop from my B+ which I got last semester. Sigh. At least I'm a consistent B student. Meh, whatever, lol.


p.s. For some reason, I can't seem to upload my new photos onto my friendster profile! It keeps on saying that the pic I try to upload is too large. Which is weird because before this, I never encountered this problem before. Someone help? ;)

Random blurbs

So today it is Chong Bing's birthday. It must have started out just as an ordinary day for him. PBL in the afternoon, lectures after that. And today we had not only 2, but 3 lectures!!! One on Rheumatic Fever, the 2nd one on Infective Endocarditis and the 3rd one....
Dr.Rajesh Kumar came in LT2 at 6:15pm, supposedly to give a second lecture on ECG *yawn*. Everyone settled down as usual, the powerpoint presentation was being set up, albeit very slowly. Then Dr.Rajesh began to discuss the learning objectives of the lecture......which was..........to celebrate someone's birthday!
Then he asked.....'is there someone named Chong Bing in this class? Happy birthday.'
Yeap.....actually there wasn't a lecture on ECG at all. It was just a ploy between Chong Bing's friends and Dr. Rajesh on throwing him a surprise something for his birthday. It was actually really sweet of Dr. Rajesh to agree to be part of this plan. Ramzi entered the class with 2 huge cakes, which we all got to share. I bet that Chong Bing must be really touched by all this. I could hear him exclaiming 'Oh my God' or something along that lines several times after the secret was being revealed. He must have been really grateful to have such wonderful friends and classmates!

Talking about birthdays, my housemate Li Cin's birthday is coming up soon as well ( next week)....so it's time for me and Fang Han to start planning on what to do for her birthday!
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So study leave is about 2 and a half weeks away. Initially, I didn't want to go back to Kuching for the study break, for fear that I would be too lazy to come back here. Maybe my mum can come over here to pay me a visit instead (if she has something to attend to in KL). But then, today I found out that both of my housemates are going back to their hometowns for about a week or so, during the study break. Which means that I would be alone at my place! Now, as a person who values privacy, I don't mind that so much. It's just that KL is not a safe place to stay alone....especially for a girl....
So now I am wondering whether I should go back to Kuching for the study break as well....Hmmm.... I just SMSed my mum just now and she said that it's basically up to me.

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I think I can be oversensitive at times. Whenever someone says something, at times I tend to take it too seriously and keep it in my heart. This isn't good, and I need to work on changing this attitude of mine. Maybe that's why sometimes people are afraid to tell me something or to voice out their opinions to me.

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One topic that I feel strongly about is feminism. I know that most females are content with what they have and don't feel the need to fight for their or other females's rights. However, I don't like how women tend to submit themselves to men and make themselves feel inferior compared to men, so much so that they let men misuse, mistreat and abuse them.

One pet peeve of mine is how girls get so excited and giggly everytime they see boys or are around boys. Please, guys are also humans.....not supermen or some superior beings ...... Granted, not all girls are like that, but you get my drift...
Hmmm......maybe when I actually get a boyfriend in the future, that might change......

I realize that it's harder for women to support each other, compared to men. This maybe because women tend to get jealous of each other more easily, and become catty towards each other, whereas men tend to be more supportive of each other.

I know that 1 Peter :3 tells wives to submit themselves to their husbands. The first time I read that verse was the first time I found myself not agreeing with a verse in the Bible. However, when I read on, I realized that the passage did not mean what I initially thought it meant.....women actually have their own strengths.

It's time that we, women stand up for ourselves! Why is it so hard to do so?

I came across this blog entry by Wendy (a famous Singaporean blogger) in her website http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/2006/09/weak-women.html and found it really interesting.....do check it out! ( I know it's way outdated, but it's worth a read)