Ailing's blurbs

2011-07-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

I wish that people will appreciate me more. But it's ok...at least my mum, uncle David and God loves me.

2010-12-25T03:30:00.000-08:00

Yet another lonely Christmas spent alone. Sigh...

Terrible

2010-12-17T06:02:00.000-08:00

Gosh, I feel terrible right now. This is the worst day ever :( I just want to hide in my room and never come out ever again.

2010-11-15T00:52:00.001-08:00

One day the whole truth will come out. Until then, I'll just wait patiently...:)

Still waiting...

2010-11-15T00:36:00.000-08:00

I am still waiting for the day someone will tell me 'I miss you'
I am still waiting for the day when someone will tell me ' 'You're an awesome friend, you're amazing, you're beautiful or you did well!'

I know I will never hear these words spoken to me my whole life. and I don't deserve them. But a girl can dream can't she? ;)

Sad :(

2010-10-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

Words can't describe how sad, upset and disappointed I am feeling right now. :( Oh well, things happen for a reason...maybe 3rd time is the charm!!

Let It Be

2010-10-09T06:22:00.000-07:00

If AAD doesn't allow me to swap groups with him, just because we are of different gender, then so be it.
If it turns out that I have to be in a different group from my housemates, then so be it. It's time for me to train to be more independent..

Whoever's house we decide to take in the end.....so be it...

On my birthday...

2010-09-16T23:40:00.000-07:00

On my birthday, I have to remind myself that:
1) I'm fearfully and wonderfully made
2) Although I make many mistakes, He will give me the strength to work on them
3) I cannot let what people say or think about me, or past mistakes always get me down. Instead, I have to keep on working hard to improve myself to be a better person
4) i am my own person, and no one else can define me..
5) There would always be someone who is better than me, comparing myself to others is not going to help.
6) To never ever give up hope on myself .

All these I tend to forget always, so I've to keep on reminding myself..

2010-09-09T12:18:00.001-07:00

I know that I'm a person with many many weaknesses....I have to keep on trying to improve myself until one fine day I get it right :)

Insignificant

2010-09-08T07:01:00.000-07:00

I have spent my whole life feeling small and insignificant, and I don't think that feeling is going to go away anytime soon....

Weak...

2010-09-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

I feel so week this few days, especially today. I feel dizzy and have a headache. I cannot fall sick, there is so much to do!! And it's only Paeds posting, one of the most relaxing postings of semester 9. What would happej when I go into Gynae and Surgery postings? Can I stand?
God please give me the strength I need to go through semester 9 and my final year of medical school..Amen..

2010-09-02T06:15:00.001-07:00

I've a feeling it's going to be one long semester and one long year ahead of me....today is just a small glimpse of what is to come...

The pause button...

2010-08-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

I want to play the pause button on life now...
I am so not looking forward to semester 9!!! So weary about the final year as a medical student, because I know it's the toughest year ever., and there are so many challenges ahead...
Oh well, I'm tough, I'll get through this, like I've gotten through everything else..

Again and again...

2010-08-20T03:56:00.001-07:00

I've managed to flunk my EOP yet again...despite of working so hard for the past few weeks...
I couldn't do the last few questions of the specialized postings OSPE.
All my efforts down the drain again...
All for nothing. Gah!!!

What a lousy way to end sem 8 :(

I forgive

2010-08-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

I forgive her for laughing openly at me when I did something embarrasing at the JBLT on Tuesday.
I forgive them for letting me find the case of the unconcscious patient all on my own, take down the notes, write the powerpoint and asking me to present it as well...
I forgive them for always disappearing with their respective boyfriends (during the weekends) and never bothering to ask me whether I've eaten or not

GMH

2010-08-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

I never give up no matter what the circumstances.
I never say no no matter how tired and drained I am.
I never quit even when the going gets tough.
When I stumble and fall, I get up again.
I encourage others.

I GMH ( Give Myself Hope).

Careless....

2010-08-17T02:44:00.000-07:00

I know that I'm clumsy and careless it's a well established fact. The thing I don't know is....whether it is due to my Turner's Syndrome (who will ever tell me?) or due to my own lack of care for things around me... I tend to misplace things, I always do things in a mess .I know I need to learn to be more careful..to be more efficient, but no matter how hard I try, it's always the same....maybe I should try harder?
I don't want my carelessness to cause a life when I'm working as a doctor in the future... actually, why did I choose this career path in the first place? Well, it's not like I chose it, I have always wanted to become a journalist and eventually a writer....but of course no one will support me in that path. So now I'm stuck with this...wonder how many lives will I cost by my own carelessneess? And please...do not say be more careful....of course I know very well I have to be more careful!!

Terrible

2010-08-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

I feel terrible right now...I don't know, I just woke up feeling like this....Lord, I'm sorry for abandoning You again today and not going to church again...I dunno, I just....don't have much faith left in me...I've no motivation now to come close to You...plese draw me closer to You, Lord...

Lonely.....

2010-08-13T07:39:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so lonely right now....both my housemates are spending the weekends with their respective boyfriends again...and here I am, alone again.... :/
Ah well, I'll just concentrate on studying for my exam next week then....

The small blessings that count...

2010-08-03T02:39:00.000-07:00

I have been secretly waiting for the day someone will give me flowers.
Little did I know that my wait ended today!
I got a sunflower :D

Although it's not from a guy, and it's just a friendly gesture to cheer my day up, but thank you so much Pam!! :) You rock and made my day.
Sunflowers do indeed brighten one's day...

2010-08-02T06:35:00.001-07:00

This is life, isn't it? When you comfort others and encourage them during their times of trial- but when your time of trial comes, nobody is there for you....

One In A Million...

2010-07-26T07:10:00.001-07:00

I am one in a million. I'm not talking about the possibility of a particular sperm fertilizing a particular ovum. I am talking about the chances of a child with Turner's Syndrome being born alive and growing up as a relatively normal person and attending university like other normal children do.

Here is something I never tell anyone, a secret only those very close to me know. I have Turner's Syndrome. I was diagnosed at the tender age of 14, after the concern that I wasn't developing normally like other girls my age, after numerous tests and CT scans.
What is it like to live with this condition, you ask me. I live like any other normal person, I do normal stuff, go to school, attend university like the rest of you. On the outside, I may seem normal, just somewhat small-sized. I've even come to terms with my height and physical appearance (although I admit I still feel not attractive at all).
The thing I am still struggling with is my self-esteem. I am constantly frustrated with the fact that I can never be as good as others. My memory isn't good, my hand skills, my coordination and my organization skills are poor. And I act like a child. The worst thing about this is...I don't know whether my many weaknesses are things which I can improve on, or things which are just out of my control and part of my condition. Part of me wishes to blame everything on my condition. But I know it is wrong. And so I try my very best to be as good as others, to improve myself. But sometimes I just fall flat and thus the frustration builds up again. The most frustrating thing is, I have never met anyone else with Turner's Syndrome my whole life. So I am still in the dark about my own condition. When I Google for more info, all I get are physical signs. How about emotional and mental signs and symptoms? Like....do girls with Turner's act 15 years younger than their age even though they don't mean to? Do they learn things and pick up things slower than others? Do they do things slower compared to normal people? Do they have poorer memory and poorer attention span? All these things I want to know....And not to mention the infertility issue...
You may say that all my long list of weaknesses have nothing to do with my condition, and all these are my character flaws. I don't know, I just don't. I have tried so hard to improve myself, to be a better person. I have, trust me.

But I have to consider myself lucky compared to some others. I have just finished my elective attachment at the Kuching Autistic Centre. And taking care of these Autistic children made me realize that I've a lot to be thankful for. They have speech difficulties, they have behavioural problems, some of the more serious cases cannot do things independently. But it was a great joy for me to see them learn new things every day, to teach them how to do normal living activities such as sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, wiping the table, hanging up clothes, washing the toilet, learning how to read and write....
It's my wish for each and every one of them to be able to one day function as capable individuals in the real world in the future. Because I know that deep inside each and every one of them is the potential to be a successful human being.
I learnt to handle these children and their various behaviours. I learn to help them to dress, wear their shoes, etc. I taught them how to read and write. I prompted them when they didn't feel like doing a certain activity any longer. I know each and every one of them by name.
The most rewarding part is when they hold your hands or hug you. It saddens me when I hear stories about those who are not accepted by their parents and are left to be taken care of by their grandparents.
This experience may never compare with helping out with relief work in Haiti or Padang, but I know that I gained a lot from this experience. I learnt to love. I learnt to encourage. To teach. To build up others. And I learnt to accept others and love them as they are. And I learn that each and every human being is special in God's eyes, even if they are far from perfect. Even if they are insignificant and unlikeable in the eyes of others.
God sends people like me and them into this world to teach us unconditional love.

2010-07-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

Why is she feeling so down even when she has such good social support? She has a very nice boyfriend to take care of her, and very supportive and understanding cell group members who accept her with open arms. Then why is she still so depressed? (or at least that's what she tells me, even though she 'acts' so happy in front of others.
Compared to me. I don't have a boyfriend to love me. I don't have a proper cellgroup in which I belong to. I'm just tagging along all the time. Should I be even more depressed than her? No, I refuse to. I have to be happy!

2010-07-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

Why can't I feel happy for them? Why do I feel jealous instead? Jealousy is sin. Relationship is beautiful. So Lord, please help me remove this jealous feeling in my heart...

Smile when your heart is breaking...

2010-07-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

I am fast becoming an expert in this.
Smiling and laughing and looking cheerful even when you're feeling emo and your heart is breaking inside.
Who knew I would become this person? :P

Pause button

2010-07-21T08:34:00.000-07:00

I wish there is a pause button and a fast forward button in life. That way, we can pause and cherish wonderful moments in life and fast forward the not so wonderful moments. I want to pause at this ENT posting, and I want to fast forward semester 9 and 10 and housemanship.

Waiting..

2010-07-21T02:11:00.000-07:00

God is really trying to test my patience.
All my life I've been waiting.
I've waiting at least 20 years for a father who actually loves and cherishes me.
Waited the same amount of time for sisters who I can go shopping with.
And I'm still waiting....waiting to be a grown up, waiting to graduate.
Waiting to start work and start experiencing the real world, waiting to graduate from medical school and be considered a doctor.
Waiting for McDreamy to come and sweep me off my feet...
Waiting.....

And Waiting....

Results out!

2010-07-15T06:05:00.000-07:00

This is the first time I've passed all my theory papers! =) But this is also the first time I've failed a practical paper =( Guess the sentiments cancel out each other? ;)

Anyways.... now it seems like I'm the only one among the 4 of us housemates who is still single... *sigh*

Somewhere out there...

2010-07-03T10:53:00.001-07:00

Wherever you are, whoever you are, I know that you're out there waiting for me, as I'm waiting for you. And I know that one fine day, we will meet and our lives will intertwine. Until then, I'll wait patiently =)

2010-06-29T06:34:00.000-07:00

Is it so hard to ask to just be appreciated for who I am and what I do? It's not like I treat others bad..

2010-06-21T23:34:00.000-07:00

Why am I so short? Why am I so fat? Why am I so ‘lembap? So slow in everything? Why am I not well-liked by others? What can I do to improve myself, to become a better person? When will I ever find my McDreamy? Will I ever find him?
Why can’t I be as pretty as her? As well-liked as her? Have as many friends as her? Be as smart and confident as her? No guy would ever want me, I’m sure of that.

2010-06-17T06:15:00.001-07:00

Don't you just love it when you encourage people, but people don't even bother to acknowledge? I mean, I know I'm not supposed to expect much, but just a simple thank you would be nice...

And don't you just love it when you feel so small and insignificant- even on Facebook? Gosh, I just love holding monologues on Facebook :P

Shhh.....bloggie, this is a secret between you and me ok? ;)

2010-06-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

Just a secret since my blog is practically dead :p .... sometimes I wish I was like her- prettier, smarter, more well liked...That her I'm referring to could be anyone, from a housemate, to a stepsister, to a batchmate....

Sometimes I wish I was more appreciated. I know, it's silly, but I just can't help feeling that way sometimes. I am always being overshadowed by someone else, someone more pretty, more likeable, more capable....

You know, you got to give words of encouragement and say something positive to someone once in a while- who knows you might actually make that person's day.... Do say it before it's too late, before you suddenly realize you never got a chance to say what you've always wanted to say to that person...

2010-06-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

So yet another year has come and gone. How fast time flies! For some of us, it had been a year of great success, many achievements and accomplishments. for others, it has been a year of disappointments. Whichever applies to you, the year has now come to an end, and another year has come, bringing with it a brand new start.
it's time again to reflect on what we've accomplished for the year 2009, and to set our goals for 2010.

For me, the year 2009 was significant, as it was the year I began clinical school in IMU Seremban. I had successfully completed phase 1 of my medical studies, and it was time for me to move on to phase 2. I was petrified to say the least to begin clinical school. All I could think of it was the next 2.5 years (and beyond) of pure torture and no life. Seriously. And now, I've completed almost 1 year of clinical school. Of course, it isn't half as bad as I expected, although they were some very tough and trying times.
I can admit now that the most trying time I had so far in clinical school ( I know there are many more tough times ahead) was the Obstetrics posting. We had to cover ward 1B every night, as we were expected to present the following morning. And no bed should be left uncovered. It was the covering wards that kept us busy for this posting. But in retrospect, it served as a good training ground for us, to prepare us for our jobs when we become housemen. And the Obs lecturers were somewhat more strict (or at least that's what I feel) compared to other posting lecturers. I didn't like Obs posting, still don't miss it, and will never like Obs. But yes, I feel like I learnt the most (about medicine, about life in general) from this posting. One thing I do miss from this posting though are the patients, who were friendly and nice to talk to. Psychiatry posting was a welcome change after the rigid Obs posting. I felt more relaxed and happy. And more happy with my results as well. As for Orthopaedics posting, I don't really like the subject and the amount of stuff that needs to be covered. But what I do miss from this posting is....the lecturers! I never knew that Ortho surgeons could be so nice...hehe...
And right now, I'm in the 2nd week of Paediatrics posting. So far, I love going to Port Dickson and clerking the mothers and playing with the babies there. As there are less people, the mothers and children there are more relaxed compared to those in HTJ Seremban. Seeing those babies (esp. those who have yet to develop stranger anxiety) just smile at you and coo happily just makes your day.

Studies aside, 2009 was also a year of self-discovery for me. I learnt that I still have a lot, and I mean a -lot of things that I need to change and improve about myself. I admit that there are times when I felt rather discouraged about myself and wondered why I always make mistakes and why I behave the way I do. There are times when I am very tempted to dislike myself. I am a slow - learner, but I will try my best to improve myself. It's not that easy, but I'll try :) One thing that I'm really grateful for, is 3 wonderful housemates who always guide me and support me. I love you girls! :) And I thank God for such a wonderful mother, and for such a wonderful family ( although an unconventional one) I thank God for a church and cell group where I can grow spiritually. I thank God for bringing me through this far, and I have to continue believing that He will continue to support me.

Although I know there will be many more challenges and obstacles ahead, I know that God will always see me through. :)

Happy New Year 2010!!

Vietnam

2009-08-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

My first reaction when my parents announced that we were going to Vietnam for a holiday trip was .....'Huh? Why Vietnam of all places? Why can't we go to Korea or Japan instead?'
I wasn't really looking forward to going to the country, to tell the truth.

The first thing I noticed upon arrival in the country- the traffic. Oh my gosh. More than half of the vehicle population over there are motorbikes. And I always complain about motorbikes swerving right in front of me when I'm driving. Imagine the entire road of motorbikes. Very few traffic lights. Traffic moving freely about, cutting into each others lanes. I am so not driving in Vietnam!

The place we stayed in was a budget hotel, more like rooms rented out to tourists. It has all the basic facilities such as aircon, TV, comfortable beds and ensuite, and it's cheap, so I can't complain. There are plenty of these type of hotels over there.

I realized that there are many tourists in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City). The city is such a popular tourist destination, you can see tourists everywhere! As a result, you can see bars, souvenir shops, and English books everywhere.

The Vietnamese people, they are very friendly. They have smiles on their faces, and they are a cheerful lot. They can speak conversational English, although it's hard to understand their English at times. I heard they can speak some French too, although I didn't hear the language being spoken among the locals.

We went on a tour around the city on the second day- where we were brought to the War Musuem, The Reunification Palace, and the market. The following day, we followed the Mekong river tour, where we met two nice Vietnamese girls and one Malaysian girl from Batu Pahat.
Actually, most of the stuff we saw in the second day- can be found in Malaysia too. :p

Anyways, it was a memorable trip. I enjoyed bargaining with the locals, walking along the streets of Vietnam and making friends with the local girls. :)

Semester 6

2009-08-13T02:19:00.000-07:00

Half a year ago, I was totally dreading it. The start of clinical school. I even went to the extent of saying that it was my 'death sentence'. I imagined pure torture, no life whatsforever.

Now, half a year later, I'm still alive and well, thank you. Clinical school is certainly not as bad as I originally expected. Sure, there might be some busy times, but I can cope with it.
My housemates and I still have the time to go out for neals together and movies during the weekends. Workload....not so bad, we only have on call once a week (not including covering ward for case presentations). Lecturers, most of them are fine, some lecturers are nice even! The most they would say is 'What have you been learning for the past 2.5 years?'

My first posting was Surgery. We were thrown into the wards the very first day itself. So of course we were a bit aimless for the first couple of weeks. Clerking surgery patients, witnessing endoscopy and surgeries....learning about the entire GI system, breasts and thyroid. The only lecturer to watch out for....he's not that bad actually. We learn a lot from him.

Second posting....Internal Medicine. A bit more busy compared to surgery, as we have to make it a point to clerk patient's daily. Case presentations almost every day. But IMO, we learn the most from this posting. The lecturers taughts us every single system, and many common diseases. And we were taught how to perform thorough physical examination of every system in the body.
Most of my friends I know enjoy this posting the most. It is fun to come up with differential diagnoses for a patient, because one single symptom can lead to many different possibilities. Some lecturers in this posting are nice too.

Third posting....Family Medicine. The supposedly most relaxing posting of all. Well, the first four weeks were certainly not that relaxing, we had to follow the lecturers clinics. But this posting is the most planned and structured posting of all 3. I wish I had started with this posting first, because this lecturer made it a point to lead and guide us along the way, so we wouldn't be lost. If only we had this sort of guidance for the other postings....
Anyways, I enjoyed this posting a lot. I loved sitting in the lecturers air-conditioned clinics, I loved observing how the lecturers deal with patients. I love how in the primary healthcare system, the patient is looked as a whole, and not as a disease. I think that prevention is better than cure. Maybe, just maybe, I would become a GP in the future, we'll see. ;) And yes, like I mentioned in my previous post...I recall fondly the Kampung Angkat project, the school health visit, the MCH and MO clinics....
And of course, during this posting, I had the time for other things as well. The trip to Malacca, the eating out, the Gala dinner, the trips down to KL.....

Yes, so now I've officially completed one semester of clinical school. :) 4 more to go, I graduate and real torture begins!

A flurry of activities!

2009-07-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

Wow, I've been kept occupied these past couple of weeks! So many things happened..

1) The Kampung Angkat visit last Saturday

We went to an Orang Asli village called Kampung Tekir. We took measurements, and took developmental and diet history from the people there. I learnt to take a proper diet and paediatric history, as well as learn about the culture of the orang Asli people. I also got to go for a home visit. There were two babies, a girl and a boy. The baby girl was actually the baby boy's aunt! No kidding. But the children were so cute. And we got to sit on a tractor! It was such a fulfilling visit :)

2) Tun Dr. Mahathir comes to IMU!

Yes, no kidding. On Tuesday, my batchmates and I took 2 buses down to the Bukit Jalil campus, to attend a dialogue session between us students and our beloved ex-prime minister, Tun Dr. Mahathir. I can still recall clearly when our country was under his rule....our country became a very fast developing country. He was the one who introduced Vision 2020, he was the one who introduced the Multimedia Super Corridor, the PetronasTwin towers, the Sepang Circuit, the KL Tower, were all built during his time as the prime minister. And he was the one who put our country on the map of the world. Because of him, people from other countries know Malaysia.

And so yes, I actually got to see him and listen to him in person! What an experience :)

I didn't really get to talk to him though, because after the session, so many people crowded around him!

3) School Health visit

Today, me and my groupmates followed a group of HTJ nurses to a secondary school in the outskirts of Seremban. The nurses were to give the Form 3 students there Tetanus jabs.

Our jobs were to perform health checks for the students. It was a great experience, and the students reminded me of myself 10 years ago! And it seemed like yesterday when I was in Form 3....

Fam Med

2009-06-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

So begins my 3rd posting, Family Medicine posting.

So far, the first week has been lectures, lectures and nothing else. Boring.

But hopefully next week things will pick up when I get attached to the Klinik Kesihatan Seremban.

It's supposedly the easiest posting, so hopefully I can do well in this posting, especially since I haven't been doing well theory wise for the first 2 postings.

I leave you with some recent pictures of mine.

p.s. I have been gaining weight. Yikes!

Lazy me

2009-06-21T02:18:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be happy....it's the start of a brand new posting tomorrow. And the supposedly easiest and most relaxing posting- Family Medicine.

Well, I'm glad that Surgery and Internal Medicine postings are over, and that all I have left of semester 6 is Family Medicine.

But still, I feel lazy to come back to Seremban. A one week holiday/ break just isn't enough!
I feel like I had not enough rest.

How is lazy me going to be an intern, ermm....I mean houseman like this? :p

2009-06-15T23:47:00.000-07:00

One week holiday...a much needed break.

Been resting a home, watching Grey's with mum, doing IM and practising IV injections in mum's shop, etc. And going online, uploading long overdue photos to Facebook (I found my camera cable, yay!). And my newest addiction on Facebook, Pet Society. I love my Ailee :)
Released my pet tortoise, Kelly, yesterday. To symbolize freedom. Am going to get a new pet tortoise today, and going to name it Izzie. (Here's to hoping it doesn't get sick like Izzie).

And I have a brand new haircut!

2009-06-09T05:37:00.000-07:00

Who knew that doing good to others can backfire on you? Who knew that a gesture of kindness to some people turns out to be an inconviencence to others? I just want to do good, I just want to be a kind person, but in the end, I made a big mistake by being kind.

lazy.....

2009-05-29T10:05:00.001-07:00

I'm getting lazier and lazier to blog. I somehow find Facebook, watching my favourite shows which I download and listening to romantic songs on Youtube more exciting past times compared to blogging. <_< I need some sort of motivation to blog again!

Anyways, if last week we had only one case presentation, which resulted in me waking up not so early almost every morning and feeling lazy, this two weeks will be the busiest weeks I've had so far. Clerking patients, then case presentations , then TBLs, then studying for upcoming exams in 2 weeks time. So much to study, so little time!

I had my 2nd Mini CEX today, which went ok, I was systemic in my physical examination, but I moved the patient too many times. And had to be prompted a little to reach the diagnosis and investigations. But on the whole, the feedback was pretty encouraging :)

That's about it for now.....signing off peeps!

Ailing

Latest updates

2009-05-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

Arrghh.....so many things happened over the past week, but I was so lazy to blog :p

1. Watched 2 movies- Slumdog Millionaire(better be good as it won 8 Academy Awards) and Angels and Demons (which was great)

2. Had my first Mini CEX, which fortunately for me was held by my Internal Med tutor who is one of the nicest Internal Med lecturers you can find. But....he held my Mini CEX in front of all my groupmates. So they were all there to witness my humilitation! :p Just kidding. I was actually grateful they were there to support me through my Mini CEX. :) History taking was fine for me, I need to improve on my physical examination techniques though.

3. Had a scary Case Presentation on Wednesday. The lecturer was harsh to all of us who presented that day, but particularly harsh to the first presenter. He was a bit harsh to me to when I presented, but that's ok. Not so bad. Finally at the end of the CP, he said he was strict on us because he wants us to be perfect.

4. Clerked some patients with sad stories. E.g., one patient who has 7 children, but lives in a welfare home. He claimed that all his illness started ever since he started living there one year ago. Another patient, whose whole life turned upside down ever since his wife died many years ago. He never fully recovered from the loss.

5. The health scare! One patient here in HTJ died of Meningitis last week. Some students who were in contact with the patient, senior batches I think, were given prophylaxis. My housemates said they clerked one meningitis patient on Wednesday, don't know whether it was the same patient. Please let it not be!
And of course, the H1N1 influenza virus has finally reached Malaysia. Oh joy. A student took a flight back to Penang from USA recently. Welcome to Malaysia.
It's only a matter of time before the virus reaches Seremban and we all will be wearing masks in the hospital. *shudders*

2009-05-10T02:49:00.000-07:00

Hmmm.....what should I tell you about Internal Medicine?

a) Clerking patients in Port Dickson Hospital (who are mostly cooperative and friendly as they are more relaxed over there) ,
b) case presentations with lecturers (especially one lecturer who is nice, and he teaches us in very detail about CNS examination),
c) Task based learning (TBL) sessions- we learnt that we have to prepare our cases in powerpoint presentation

I despise driving, but I still drove down to Port Dickson from Mon-Wed, and even KL on Saturday (my first time driving down to KL, heh)

And now I've got to prepare for my TBL presentation tomorrow and research for my research project proposal due next week.

And prepare for the Mini-CEX exam next Tuesday.

Oh well.....at least I have 'Grey's Anatomy' to cheer me up. (Please don't die, Izzie! You were a beautiful bride. Alex and the rest of them would be devastated if you do. And Meredith and Derek, it's your turn to get hitched......) The only thing, the season finale is next week....and after that no more Grey's until September. :( Wonder whether leading actress Ellen Pompeo would have had her baby by then. If not, I think it's a good idea to write the pregnancy into the show. Great twist to Meredith and Derek's relationship....Hah! :)

p.s. Happy Mother's Day!!!

I love you, mum!!

2009-05-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

Why is she better than me in everything?
Why is she so well-liked?
So confident?
Good looking?
So organized?
Why when I'm with her, I'm like her shadow?
She outshines me in everything.

2009-04-29T08:55:00.000-07:00

I am fine....I am fine....
Just trying to shake 'the incident' off my mind. It seems to be sticking to my mind like a parasite and draining the energy off me. Usually, I feel just fine, but this past couple of days, I just can't feel like myself.
It's my fault....I have only myself to blame..
Anyways, let's just treat it as a learning experience.

It has nothing to do with Internal Med- which so far is ok, quite relaxing....since we go to Port Dickson to clerk one case and then have case presentation...
Internal Med case presentations are later compared to Surgery ones....
And oh....Internal Med lecturers actually teach in much more detail compared to Surgeons.

Ok, have to do my on call report now....Why Internal Med got on call report ? We didn't need to do On Call Reports in Surgery....

The End of Surgery Posting

2009-04-23T08:06:00.000-07:00

Finally....I have successfully completed my very first posting in Clinical School....Surgery posting.
7 long, tiring, but exciting weeks.
I'll have memories of waking up early in order to join the ward rounds....and then ending up not really gaining much from the rounds anyways.....:p
Memories of covering the entire ward among the 6 of us in the subgroup.....the night before case presentations with DK. And the memory of myself 'stumbling' during our final case presentation with him. Well, we all did in some way or another. We made him 'sweat' for not being able to properly describe a swelling, not able to properly describe an ulcer, and not being able to present a proper summary! (in my case).
Memories of the TBL sessions... (in which I admit I slept in some of them:p) which became much more interesting after a 'particular incident' (a near feud).
Memories of the night on call sessions (especially at the A&E).....where we got to witness a variety of cases and procedures.
Memories of the self visits to the venepuncture unit..
Memories of the operation theatre, and all the surgeries I've witnessed.
Memories of the patients I clerked.....all had different personalities, come from different races and backgrounds.... some were more coorperative than others.
Memories of some of the chats I have with the patients, memories of being told off by the family member of a patient...

Ahh....so many memories.... :)

And as for today's end of posting exam.....my very first clinical school exam.....well, it went ok.
The lecturer (I got Dr. IA), would chose a patient, and give you about 40 minutes to an hour to clerk the patient- take a complete history, and do physical examination on the patient. Then after the time is up, you'll have to present the case individually to the lecturer, and he'll ask you some questions.
I went off to quite a rocky start, having left my marking scheme at home, so had to go back home to take it. When I arrived, the lecturer was already there. He immediately led me to the back of Ward 3B and pointed at a patient. For a moment, I looked at the patient and he looked back at me. I was still sweating from all the running I did earlier on. When I started to talk....I found out....the patient could speak English! That is really rare here in Malaysia! Patient was a Malay male....who presented with incisional hernia. I did tell him that I was sitting for an exam.
He made me at ease....and we even talked a little about my background first....before I officially clerked him. For me, I think that was a blessing.
After Dr. IA returned to the ward, I was the first to present my case to him. He is a nice lecturer, and he guided me in some parts....and he told me which parts I missed out on. I made the mistake of treating the incisional hernia as more of a swelling compared to a hernia itself. As a result, I missed out on asking questions such as whether it could be reduced, whether it reduced when patient was lying down....etc. And I didn't ask the patient to stand up! And didn't really do a thorough examination on the entire abdomen. Oh well. This is my first exam after all, I can improve on it.
But the most important thing is that I passed! I have officially passed Surgery- my first clinical school posting! :)

Now, I have to prepare my heart for Internal Medicine. I am certainly NOT looking forward to that posting. From what I heard, it is even harder compared to Surgery. Because in Surgery, Surgeons are more focused and precise, just focusing on the presenting complaint and the system or organ involved. E.g. when a patient presents with appendicitis, you focus on the abdomen, and not so much on the hearts or lungs. But in Internal Med, I heard you have to cover all your systems. And certain Internal Med lecturers are strict, I heard. Oh well, I'll fully enjoy this weekend first! And will deal with Internal Med when it comes.

One more week....

2009-04-17T07:56:00.000-07:00

One more week of surgery to go! Just handed in 3 case summaries and 1 case report today. Next week is my end of posting exam (on Thursday). My first clinical school exam! Nervous. I am going to get Dr. IA as my examiner, he seems ok so far, had presented a case to him on Wednesday. Hopefully it would go on smoothly.

This week, I discovered that:
a) I still cannot feel for invisible veins when performing venepuncture
b) I still cannot side park, in fact, I am horrible in side parking and reversing.

The only unusal thing that happened this week.....I clerked one patient who is an ex-IVDU(intravenous drug user) and a patient who is a prisoner. With handcuffs on and all.
Well, learning not to be judgemental is also part of our training right?

Weekend is here!

2009-04-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

I'm just so glad that the academic week is finally over. It seemed like a never ending sequence of covering wards at night (clerking patients for next day's case presentation), case presentations in the morning, clerking more patients, and then outpatient department attachment, or to the operation teatre, then task based learning (TBL) sessions in the afternoon. And not to mention on call on Tuesday nights for me. And I have to visit my CFCS patient at his home this weekend.
But it's all in good fun...We still can afford to go out and enjoy meals with friends, and we watch movies every weekend without fail!
I realised today that learning is not about focusing on passing exams, but actually taking the time to think....why was this particular patient not discharged yet, whether the patient has been advised on what to eat, not eat, not allowed to do after surgery, etc. Only then can we become more compassionate and caring doctors!

Things that I've learnt today....

2009-04-06T06:15:00.000-07:00

1) Don't mention the age/race of the patient when presenting the case (it is a sensitive issue). Instead, mention the name of the patient. (this is based on lecturer's preference, I think)
2) Look for the underlying reason for the patient's illness.....think of the chief/presenting complaint of the patient and not just report the entire case
3) Don't ever say that patients are uncooperative- they might be confused, depressed, in distress, in pain, etc.
4) Don't ever mention that you cannot communicate with your patients due to language barrier, etc. Eye contact sufficient for communication! You can tell a lot by looking at a patient's eyes , and by just looking at the patient

Of course, this is just the point of view of one lecturer, but it can be helpful for us in the future.
We still have lots to learn!

2009-04-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

What I have accomplished halfway (3.5 weeks) through surgery posting:
a) clerked 30+ patients
b) talked to 50+ patients
c) took 3 blood samples
d) assisted in 5 ECGs
e) observed 10 branula insertions (I want to do one myself, damnit!)
f) witnessed 3 surgeries
g) become translator for doctors
h) learnt to stand for long hours
i) learnt to sleep little
j) learnt to tolerate certain people

Clinical school

2009-03-17T05:17:00.000-07:00

2nd week of surgery posting...

Not as bad as I initially expected it to be.
The lecturers are not as fierce as what I expected, except for one particular lecturer ;)
Clerking patients daily, case presentations, Task based learning sessions, clinical skills unit sessions, endosccopy and outpatient department sessions, the night on call sessions.....so far so good....

The only worry I have is....I don't know much! Everyone else seems to know so much, I feel a bit inadequate...not being able to answer questions and explain stuff.... And I can't bring myself to be as enthusiastic as some colleagues of mine. Some people are just so enthusiastic about clinical years!

Latest update

2009-03-04T06:30:00.000-08:00

I'm in the middle of orientation week. Never knew that sitting the entire day in a lecture theatre can be that tiring!
From next week onwards, it would be totally different. We are now expected to be 'hospital furniture', not 'library furniture'. We will be making the transition from mugging books to mugging patients, from medical students to student doctors.

I'm currently in William's house using his computer. Li Cin is outside watching TV....she just logged off and then I logged on. We're stranded in William's place, as our 2 other housemates Fang Han and Yee Wei went to play Futsal, but we're just too tired to go support :p

I'm still trying to adapt to life in Seremban and life in clinical school. This week is still orientation week, so we're still trying to have as much fun as possible, going out 'makan' as a batch, visiting others houses, etc. before the actual thing starts next week.

I'm still trying to master the skill of driving in Seremban. Not confident enough yet.

We still do not have internet connection at our place!

Ailing

Is it wrong....

2009-02-23T18:25:00.000-08:00

Is it wrong that I'm totally dreading the start of the clinical phase of med school?
Is it wrong that there is this sinking and heavy feeling in my heart whenever I am reminded that I have to go to Seremban in a few days time?
Is it wrong that I am not looking forward to the fact that I have to spend the entire day in uni/hospital- wake up very early in the morning and come home very late at night?
Is it wrong that I am not looking forward to suffering?
Is it wrong that I look to that day, the first day back in uni with trepidation?
Is there anything wrong with me?

25 Random things about myself...

2009-02-05T22:04:00.000-08:00

1. I love...and I mean love...titbits and chocolate and icecream
2. I like vegetables, but I don't really like fruits (except grapes and apples)
3. I'm allergic to seafood
4. I get fat very easily
5. I love going online- it's my favourite pasttime
6. I love watching 'Lost','Grey's Anatomy',and 'American Idol.'
7. I just started watching 'House' this holidays
8. I don't enjoy driving
9. I just learnt to sew buttons these couple of days
10. I love spoilers- e.g. checking out a website or message board to see the outcome of an episode of a favourite programme which hasn't been aired
11. I love to flip to the end of a story book, just to know the ending before I start reading the book!
12. I am humble and kind :P
13. I have low self-esteem
14. My mother is my hero and the number one person in my life (after Jesus)
15. I am very grateful to have the Lord Jesus as my saviour
16. Recently, I discovered my love for snapping photos and camwhoring
17. I love beautiful scenery
18. I am still waiting for Mr.Right to come....I dream of meeting him during my housemanship years. Me and housewoman, him an attending (what do you call it over here?) And would give me a kidney in a jar...which glows in the dark...
19. I hate offending people and hurting others
20. I hate quarrels and fights and wars...why can't everyone live in peace with each other?
21. I just had a haircut...my hair grows very fast and thick
22. My personal ambition is to publish a book of my own in the future
23. I have very poor hand skills and coordination
24. I do things very slowly and steadily
25. I love all of you!!

p.s.. I'm not tagging any particular person...just make a list of your own if you feel like it :) This is just so people can know me better.

To M206

2009-02-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

The common sentence spoken by almost everyone from the M206 batch is.....'How fast time flies'.
Indeed, I cannot disagree with that statement. It seemed like only yesterday when I first set foot into the building which was actually an abandoned shopping complex. And now....we have already completed our 1st phase of medical studies....and are about to embark on another new journey, another chapter, another phase of our lives. The clinical phase of medical school. Some of us will be flying overseas , while others would be staying in Seremban.
But wherever the next phase of our lives takes us....we will always recall the fond memories we had together in the Bukit Jalil campus. The random outings, the late night birthday surprises, the night mamak sessions, camping in the library, IMU Cup and various other activities....and of course the one that tops it all....our IMU Cup victory!! These memories, we will carry them with us forever, nothing can take that away from us.

I shall now proclaim this.......I am proud to be part of M206...the batch that totally rocks...the batch that manages to conquer every single thing thrown in our way. Remember, we were the 'guinea pigs'...the first batch to have EOS2 instead of EoS1....the first batch to have a few systems crammed into one single summative.....but every time, we managed to get through.
To each and every person in M206, thank you for being a part of my life. :)
Life goes on.....people weave in and out of our lives, some stay longer than others.....but in the end...we will all carry inside our hearts forever the memories of this campus and the friendships forged here.

Good luck to all of you in your future undertakings....may we all emerge as successful doctors in the future!! And remember, it's not how smart you are that matters. As a doctor, what matters the most is being kind, compassionate, caring and
understanding and empathetic towards our patients.

God bless!!

Trip to Sabah

2009-01-20T20:05:00.001-08:00

Me and 6 friends went on a trip around Sabah right after our EoS5 exams. We were there for about a week, returning the night before the exam results were released!

It was such a memorable trip..... the first time that I have actually gone travelling with friends!

I really pushed myself to the limit those few days....

Our guide is a civil engineer doing his PhD, who is a friend of a friend of housemate Rachel. He is such a kind person who brought us to many places, explaining everything to us and telling us lots of stories and facts.

The first day, we went shopping around Kota Kinabalu.

Second day, we sat on a speed boat to Manukan Island, where we went snorkelling.

The third day, a driver drove us up to Kundasang. We went jungle trekking and mountain climbing. (twice in a day!)

We actually trekked up Mount Kinabalu for a certain distance before trekking down again. The second time round, we were at the Hot Springs, and wanted to try out the canopy walk. We ended up going a second jungle trek just to reach the canopy walk. And on the way down, we got drenched in the rain. By the time we reached the Hot Springs, we were so exhausted, that we just wanted to soak our feet in the warm water.

The fourth day, we went to the tip of Borneo and Kudat town. Almost the entire day was spent in the van as it had been raining for the whole night, and there were flash floods everywhere, making it difficult to navigate the roads.

The fifth day, back in Kota Kinabalu, we went river rafting. I was a bit apprehensive at first, knowing that navigating a rough river with a small rafting boat could be dangerous. But I went for it anyways, reminding myself that this is a one in a lifetime experience. It was fun at first, as we splashed each others boats. But things got a little dangerous when one of my friends almost floated too far away while body rafting, and one of the river guides had to come to her rescue. And our boat capsized when being hit by a current! I surfaced up soon after going under, and casually swam back to my boat. Well, it is not so scary after all :p Another of my friends almost got pinned under our boat, one of the guides saved her.

The following day, we took a ferry to Labuan. Our guide drove us around Labuan.

The final day, we drove around Labuan some more, and bought plenty of chocolates and a bottle of wine each ( I didn't buy wine though) as a souvenir.

We returned back late that night with plesant memories of the trip which would stay with us forever.

p.s. Photos to be included as soon as I managed to upload them all on Facebook!

p.p.s 5 photos uploaded, to see more, check Facebook!! ;)

2009-01-05T04:18:00.000-08:00

2 down, 3 more to go!! 3 more days to go....until temporary freedom.
3 more days to go until I complete (if all goes well) phase 1 of my medical studies...

Ok, now back to slides and Webpath....

If I were a boy....

2008-12-17T22:57:00.000-08:00

There is a new song from Beyonce playing on the radio everyday now.
It begins with the line ' If I were a boy.....'

Hmm....got me thinking....if I were a boy....how would life be? Would it be different from my current life? I dunno. I don't think so. I think I am very lucky compared to women in other parts of the world.

And recently, there is this sudden outburst from Malaysian women, who complain about their husbands coming home late every night. It was such an uproar that they even pasted the pictures of their respective husbands on the wall of a prominent bustop!

Just now during lunch....a coursemate/friend of mine expressed his opinion that doing housework is a woman's job. I beg to differ....in this modern world, where we women also have to go out to work and also come back as tired and as worn out as you guys.....you expect us to still muster the energy to clean up the entire house, while you sit in front of the TV with your coffee?
Is that really fair?

Ok, I'll stop here for now before I go too overboard. I need to go back to my studies.....I don't even know whether I have the time to go through pbls and Health Issues....and yet I'm still here online. ....:p My lame excuse is that the house connection is so slow....

Memories....

2008-12-12T09:20:00.002-08:00

Fond memories of IMU, Bukit Jalil Campus :D

So sad that we are parting our separate ways soon....

Today's message

2008-12-06T22:05:00.001-08:00

Hey readers,

Today I just want to tell you that we have a God who loves us so much that he is willing to sacrifice himself to set us free. Yes, we have a God whose love for us cannot be described in words. How awesome is that? All we need to do, is to accept His love.

Because the God I know is my tower and refuge.
The God I know, strengthens the weak.
The God I know is the Light of the City.

The message I received today just remotivated me to revive my blog ;)

2008-12-04T09:39:00.000-08:00

Don't I look cute? ;)

Was acting as the sheep in our own batch's 'costume dressup' for 'Agape', organized by IMU's CF.

Asia Conference 2008

2008-11-23T22:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm back from Singapore after attending the groundbreaking Asia Conference 2008 held there over the past 5 days.
I went on Thursday night by flight and arrived back here in KL early this morning by bus.

Not too long ago....God gave the founder of City Harvest church, Singapore, a dream. To organize a life-changing, record breaking event attended by more than 10 000 people. To organize an event that can touch Asia and transform the world.
This record breaking event is Asia Conference Singapore 2008. The first time in history so many people gather together for a Christian conference!

It was definitely a life-changing experience for me.

Listening to sermons from world-class pastors such as A.R. Bernard, Phil and Christine Pringle, Benny Hinn and Pastor Kong Hee himself.
And on Saturday night, I witnessed with my own eyes how people were cured from cancer, how the crippled could walk, the blind could now see, and the deaf could now hear. Amazing miracles performed by Benny Hinn, who is truly anointed with the Holy Spirit.
One more thing I learnt throughout the duration of the conference....patience. Almost our entire time there was spent queuing up!! Because there were thousands and thousands of delegates there, we had to queue up for practically everything.....queue for the next service, queue for food, queue to buy stuff, queue for the bathroom, and yes even queue for the toilet! Even after one service ends, people would already be queueing up for the next service!
And each night, we only got a few hours sleep, as the bus would come early to pick us up from the hostel. (Have to reach at the Expo 2 hours before service starts...have to queue ma....)

Alright, below are some pictures from the conference, enjoy!!

My cell group members :)

packed!!

Eaton Hall, where we stayed

Hallucinations....

2008-11-19T09:57:00.001-08:00

This is a scene from the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy where Dr. Izzie Stevens sees an apparition of Denny, a deceased patient and love interest of hers. According to what we have just learnt in CNS- Izzie coud either be
a) really seeing a ghost of Denny
b) having hallucinations which could be side effects of certain anti-depressant medications
c) is suffering from schizophrenia
d) is smoking cannabis
e) this one we didn't learn- but is a fast spreading rumor among fans of the show- she has a brain tumour.

So which one is it?

p.s. I don't like the fact that Denny has to return and haunt Izzie....why can't the producers let her move on and go steady with Alex? But I have to say that Jeffrey Dean Morgan brings out the best in Katherine Heigl's acting.

Mock OSCE

2008-11-13T21:04:00.000-08:00

Yay, it's over!!
I think it went on smoothly, except for the fact that I fumbled in FIA's station, which was to examine a patient with hyperthyroidism.
Firstly, I forgot to wash my hands!
I started with the neck, until I remembered that I we have to inspect the entire body for this question.
When I've inspect the hands, eyes....he asked me whether there was anything else I would like to do. I stood there , not knowing how to respond. Nothing else crossed my mind.
Only after it was over, I found out that I had forgotten to test for the fine tremor (how could I! actually many ppl forgot that too) and to perform the 'H' test for diplopia.
He still passed me though...

The self standing stations were ok.

I forgot to ask patient about their diet in the BS station. As a result, I didn't find out that patient was a vegetarian, so I couldn't diagnose the megaloblastic anaemia. Argh..

Nvm...at least it is over. I just need to improve on my OSCE skills.... and do well in the actual thing. :) Now, back to my notes which have been piling up for the past couple of days....

p.s. Thanks so much PuiFun and LiYann for volunteering to teach us OSCE!! I wouldn't have known a single thing had we not had the session....

New hope?

2008-11-09T06:02:00.000-08:00

With Barack Obama being the first ever African-American US president....maybe there is hope for the African-Americans and the other minorities living in the US. And maybe there is hope yet for the black skinned people all over the world. Their voices are finally being heard.

Maybe there is hope after all for racial equality. The word 'discrimination'- may it be extinct from our vocabulary.

p.s After yesterday, I have new hope too. A new life to live. I'm being reborn :)

M206 rocks!!

2008-10-31T07:08:00.000-07:00

My batch's PMS matching results were released yesterday. For our seniors, there would be lots of tears- some of joy and some of disappointment.
But to our pleasant surprise.....basically almost everyone were happy with what they got! A lot of people got their top choices. (Including me....hehe....Seremban ;) ) Our batch is so blessed :) We get everything thrown at us.....EOS2 instead of 1, the new exam format, etc. stand alone OSCE....but we always pull through in the end. M206 is the best!!

p.s. Things are really looking up for me. I am feeling happy now!! :)

p.p.s Watching 'High School Musical 3' today made me realize that....we are all going our separate ways in a few months time....just like the characters in the musical...

2008-10-29T10:18:00.002-07:00

Hmmm......weird, why am I such an emo person? :p Well, this is the place where I vent my feelings after all....:p

I just want to praise God today. What started of as yet another gloomy day full of predicament took a drastic turn for the better later in the day. Free food, chattingwith juniors and seniors during lunch and dinner break, a friend telling me that she'll be there for me if I need her.I am surrounded by great people :) Guardian angels, I call them.

2008-10-28T06:42:00.001-07:00

I spoke my mind. In the most calm, polite way I know how.
And now I feel like an absolute idiot, a selfish brat who just wants things to go her way.

*sigh*

Temporary treasures

2008-10-26T07:32:00.000-07:00

Remember a few posts back....I lamented on how I wish I had a best friend and a boyfriend?

Well, should I be jealous of Meredith Grey, who has both? :p (refer to pic above)

Anyways....I was reminded today of how not to be too attached to the temporary things of the world. Instead, I'm going to focus on storing treasures for the Kingdom of Heaven, where they last for eternity, instead of storing treasures here on earth, where they rot or get stolen. :)

p.s. Oh snap....the pic is too large, as a result you can't see the boyfriend. Click on the pic to see all three people ;)

Help to diagnose!

2008-10-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, readers.....I need your help in making a diagnosis....

Symptoms include:
Misplacing stuff all the time, at least once a week. Stuff include....student ID, tendon hammer, library books, wallet , handphone....etc...
Leaving a place without something, and not realizing it until too late
Remembering something one minute....and forgetting it the next minute.

Any ideas? Any suggestions for treatment and management?

p.s. The funny thing is that my stuff is usually picked up and returned to me by people who know me. In the case of wallet and handphone, the 2 most essential items, they were returned to me before I even realized I had lost them!
And my tendon hammer.....I was about to pay for a new one at the VK Bookstore when the CSU nurse actually literally stopped me from buying, saying that she might have found my hammer!

I keep on telling myself to be more careful, but it always occurs again and again. One good friend even pointed out that ....is it even physiological anymore? it could be pathological, due to my medications. Hmm...could it be?
I'm very frustrated with myself, but it's no use. I'll keep on repeating this same mistake over and over again.

2008-10-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

Tag by Joon Heng: :p

1.EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING? Hah, in my dreams....
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?BGR? Question irrelevant. Next....
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? Chocolates from Amanda Albert
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? Countless times
5. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? A few weeks ago
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? Clothes, DVDs
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? McDonalds, unhealthy I know
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX? Girls work in pairs while boys work in groups
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? When You Believe - Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED? Lodge School, Kuching. It's a private school
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER - Celcom
13. FAVORITE MALL STORE - Sungei Wang
14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD - forever a student
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? Nope..
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: No, I'm a good girl :)
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED - don't remember!
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU’D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: My housemates
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: Umm....I don't even know who my best friend is :p
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: KFC
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD
24. CAN YOU COOK? I can throw a simply meal together, but I'm lazy.
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE? Vios, back at hometown
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED? A few days ago
28. MOST DISLIKED FOOD Baked beans, prickled vegetables, water chestnut
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF Nothing.
30.THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF? Everything :p
32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB? None. Forever a student
33. FAVORITE MOVIE? Titanic
34. CAN YOU SING? Not really
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? Passion Tour
36. LAST KISS? I'm still waiting for the first kiss
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED : I buy, I don't rent movies
38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT? My keys, wallet
39: FAVORITE VACATION SPOT? Anywhere relaxing, beside a beach
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?Laptop, you can bring it with you wherever you go
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN? None
45. DO YOU SMOKE? No, hopefully never will
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? With
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT? My 2 teddy bears....Benee and Beanie
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK? Sometimes. Just ask my housemate
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? Never
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? Pancakes
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE? Not really, but I drink it to keep me awake
52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Fried or hard boiled
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:No
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: Mum, just a few minutes ago
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:Mum
56. LAST TEXT RECEIVED?: Priscilla
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: 2 small, 2 huge ones
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?Blue Giordano Tshirt and shorts
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC: There can be miracles, when you believe
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB and J?None
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: No
63. CAN YOU SWIM? Yes
64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Chocolate and vanilla icecream
65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS? Meh
66. I LOVE ________everybody
68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY? Nope
69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Spring
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED ? Just now
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ? Jumped up of bed at 8:45 am, remembering have to go to church at 9:15.
72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: Snow!
73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET? Never
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET? A rabbit named Chalky
76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED? Way Overrated
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?? Catch up on some revision
78. BIRTHDATE 15/9
79. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP Yes
80. ARE YOU SMILING? No
81. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW? My friends in Cardiff
82. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? USA!! My dream place!!
83. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:No. I don't have fond memories of high school
84. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: Yes ;)
85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Amanda
86. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT? black
88. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH? No
90. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?No, I'm an only child
91. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS? Yes
92. ARE YOU IN LOVE? No, not my time yet
93. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? Countless times. As a patient....twice (one for tonsillectomy, one for stitches)
94. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE IN PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? My mum
95. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING? My apple earrings, the cross pendant Lynn Xuan gave me, and the pendant my mum gave me.
96. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? Study
97. TAG THREE OTHER PEOPLE... no one, I don't want to take up anyone's time

IMU Cup Cheerleading Video

2008-10-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

Finally, our IMU Cup Cheerleading video!! Enjoy!! :)
Thanks Jin Chong for uploading it onto Youtube!!

p.s. I feel better today :)

2008-10-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

Things are not looking up at all.

Depression is starting to overcome me. I must not let it.

Going downhill....slowly but surely.

If only there is someone to go through this with me.

Lord, help me.

Bad Day

2008-10-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

Today is just one of those days when you feel like everything around you is dark and gloomy.
And you feel like just falling down a pithole or something, and that no one would really care if that actually happened. I reached the lowest point this evening....just felt like breaking down into tears....but controlled myself. A phone call to mum made me feel much better.

Everyone is beginning to feel the pressure and stress. It is beginning to show in our actions and our faces. Well, this is semester 5 after all. Everyone is now starting to get too caught up in their own studies to even bother to socialize or interact with ppl outside of their cliques.

And the biggest stimulating factor for the depression today- the official start of CNS lectures.
I am reminded of just how tough and complicated learning about the Nervous System is.
How did I manage to get through 3 whole years of studying that subject?
And now, I am reliving the nightmare that is the nervous system.
Ppl say that it should be easier this time around.....but I beg to differ. I totally forgot everything that I've learnt in my Neuroscience degree!

I'll try my best to help out anyone who needs my help (my 2 housemates are already asking me questions) but no guarantees here. Because I myself don't really know what exactly I've learnt for that 3 years in Cardiff...:p

Why is the human brain such a complex organ?

2008-10-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

Hmm.....why am I being so emo lately on my blog ? :p I am feeling fine in real life, I assure you readers. I just thought I wanted to let some stuff out which have been nagging my mind for a really long time. And for me, the best way to express my inner feelings is through writing.
But, I'm fine :)

Other people have so much more bigger problems to worry about than me. Mine are just trivial stuff. Others are caught in between their parents- which I assure you is a much worse problem to have then growing up with just one parent.
Others are being beaten, tortured, and battered daily for the sake of living for Christ in certain countries, while the most I get is just being ignored by the Malays.

I shall not moan.

I want to be able to reach out to others in need, to show my compassion to others. Because I know that having a soft and kind heart is one of the gifts (a subtle one) that God has given me.
I want to be able to use my gifts to do wonders for Him!

Alone....

2008-10-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder to myself why I always end up alone. It has been that way my entire life.
Did I do anything wrong?

But lately it hit me, maybe the problem lies in myself. I somehow withdraw myself from others without even realizing it. It's like a subconscious automatic reaction of mine.
I never allow myself to get close to anyone, girl or guy. Because I am subconsciously afraid of the hurt I would feel when I 'lose' the person. Childhood experiences- being abandoned by my father, being left out by my best friends in primary and secondary school.... I think it was then that I made an unspoken vow to never ever let myself be really close to anyone again.

My housemate mentioned recently that I am always 'not around' (esp. lately)that's why she couldn't get closer to me, compared to my other housemate. Yeah, I admit that lately I've always disappeared to somewhere else (usually the library).

I just somehow feel very comfortable doing things alone, without need of company.

I need divine intervention....to help me open up my heart to receive others into my life. But at least I received Jesus into my life, and that's the most important thing :)

Question:

Do we all need a best friend or a boyfriend in our lives? Or both? Or can we do without either?

Because lately I've always been lamenting over the fact that I've neither....and I better stop moaning and start thanking God about all the things in life that I DO have.... (like a mum who listens to my every complaint :p )

Cleansing tears

2008-10-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

These couple of days- especially late at night alone in my room......I let the grief and sadness concealed in my heart all these years just flow out in the form of tears. Cleansing tears maybe?
The feeling of abandonment (from father, from best friends ,etc.) the feeling of being always taken for granted, being cast aside all the time, being left out, being misunderstood..... it all just comes and engulfes me.
But God is here. I know he is watching over me, feeling my hurt, and wiping away all my tears. He is the God who feels our sorrows.
I know that one day- everything will change- I'll be this well respected doctor who will save lives both physically and spiritually. But until then, I'll wait on Him :)
p.s. I watched 'Mamma Mia' this evening! Enjoyed it, especially the ABBA songs! Makes me wanna download some ABBA songs now!

I wish....

2008-10-06T07:14:00.000-07:00

You know....sometimes I wish that I can be like somebody else.
I wish that I can be as smart as this person.
I wish that I can be as cheerful and carefree as that person.
I wish I can be as charismatic as him.
I wish I can be as likeable as her.
I wish I have a natural sense of humor, and a natural charisma.
I wish I can be as strong-willed and independent as my mum.
I wish I am stronger physically and mentally.

But after today's lecture- I know that I am still more fortunate than others. I have to be like Helen Keller, raising above all the limitations that I have to be a useful and successful person in the future.

I have to daily remind myself (because I always forget) that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in His image, and that I am unique and special.

p.s. improving oneself is a lifelong process, right? Because we always have things to improve about ourselves right?

2008-10-04T01:24:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why I am so sensitive. I worry every single second about how others perceive me. I worry about what others think about me all the time. It's bad, I know, but I simply can't stop it. And it makes me stressed. Every single action I do is based on how I would come across to other people.
But despite that, I know that I still leave a bad impression on some people. And it's very frustrating. I try my very best to be this perfect person in others eyes- but sometimes I am still human and make silly mistakes. And I scold myself and tell myself to learn from them, but I repeat those mistakes again, and I end up being mad at myself again for not learning.

I want to be good in everything I do, but I just can't. I'm frustrated.

And the worst thing about me is that I have trouble accepting the fact of life that you can't please everyone, and that not everyone is going to appreciate or like you.

I also feel like my whole life is a waiting process.
Waiting for the day I graduate from medical school.
Waiting to become a successful doctor in the far future
Waiting patiently for my family to get to know Christ
Waiting to grow up to be a more mature and independent person.
Waiting for my Prince Charming to come.
The list goes on....

Lucky

2008-10-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

Recently, my aunt and uncle lost a beloved dog, who got run down by a car :( Needless to say, they were devastated.

So my mum decided to buy a puppy for them.

My cousin, who went with us to select the puppy, decided to name him 'Lucky.' The puppy flew all the way back to Bintulu from Kuching! He is a lucky dog, being welcomed into a loving household.

He stayed overnight in my house, and I suddenly wished that he was my dog :p So cute and adorable!!

I know I already have 2 dogs at home, but Lucky is different...

Malaysian Studies project

2008-09-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

Earlier on this week (from Monday-Wednesday) my batch organized a food fair cum exhibition which served 2 purposes:-

a) for our Malaysian studies assessment ( I still don't understand why a future doctor has to learn about the history of Malaysia :p )

b) to raise some money for our convocation magazine

Earlier in the year- our Malaysian studiees teacher (who tells us stories in class) asked us what type of assessment do we want for the subject. She gave us a few choices of assessment:

i) the traditional paper format

ii) presentation format

iii) carry out a project

Option (i) was definitely out for me, I hate sitting for exams. The teacher also discouraged us from choosing that option, as according to her, as medical students, we already have tons of facts to memorize. She didn't want to burden us and overload our brain cells any further.

She encouraged us to choose option (iii) instead, as she believes that university life should not be all work and no play. At the end of the day, she said, it is these extra stuff we do that we would remember for life, and not studies. You get to mix around and interact with students from other races, quarrel a bit and learn from it, and basically just have fun...she said. I agreed with her then.

When the time for the project drew nearer, we all suddenly realized it was not such an easy task after all. Tons of preparations had to be done- in all departments..... Academics, food, music, decoration, publicity.... I initially put my name down under the food department, but then was told that department had too many people, and decoration department had too few people. So I ended up in the decoration department.

I learnt to make lanterns from angpows, tried to learn to make ketupats...:p

The Saturday before the big day, we returned to uni to set up all the decorations. Many people helped me to set up the flaglines and ceiling decorations....I was so grateful for the help!

On the 3 days of the project- we were all being kept busy.... stalls selling many delicious food were set up, and there were performances- martial arts, dancing and singing. I helped Ed to sell curry mee too on the first day.

Although the entire project- right from the planning to execution required lots of time, energy and effort, at the end of the day, we know that it was all worth it. To see people from other batches ( and also batchmates) crowding around the stalls to buy the food, and gathered at the atrium to watch the performances, there was this sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

I'm not sure how much money exactly was raised, but I know it was a significant amount.

Besides getting our marks for the assessment, and raising money for the convo mag, we took with us life long lessons. Learning leadership skills, learning to take charge (like my housemate Rachel who had to choreograph the Chinese dance). And most importantly, we learnt to bond with people from other races, backgrounds and religions.

Victory!!

2008-09-22T05:16:00.000-07:00

V is for Victory!!

Ahh....the sweet taste of victory.

Finally, all the hard work and training (we trained almost everyday, at least a few hours perday), paid off!!

Yes, I'm proud of us, Stallions. We put our all into the routine, and we won the gold medal for cheerleading!! I have a gold medal in my collection for the very firs time in my whole life :p

I remember the hours we all sacrified to practice our dance routine and stunts, when we should've been busy studying like the others. I remember how our routine was so messy and disorganized at first. The injury count, especially on the eve of the actual competition. (people were getting anxious by then). The last minute changes to the routine, the last minute cut of certain parts of the routine.

That day itself, people from all batches, and even those not from IMU itself were wishing me good luck. Suddenly I felt important, like I was representing my batch for a huge and significant event. :p

When it was almost our turn to perform, my heart was pumping wildly. I don't know why I suddenly felt so nervous, even though I wasn't even involved in stunts.

We had a false start, due to a technical glitch, and had to restart. Well, everything went on smoothly, the dance went on well....without any errors. (Except for the fact that I didn't open the 'Stallions' banner properly at the end.

After the performance was over, everyone applauded, our batch cheered the loudest. We knew then that we had done it. 'Great job, well done' people told me (and the other cheerleaders). People were saying that they were awed and amazed by the entire performance.

It was then that I knew that it was all worth it in the end. :)

Thanks to Shao Wen for choreographing the entire dance routine- and for bearing with us all this while. And thanks to all the cheerleaders (especially flyers , and spotters and bases) for making this a success. And thanks to everyone from our batch (and other batches as well) for cheering and supporting us!!

Birthday wishes...

2008-09-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

How fast times flies. Especially when you're busy.

For the 25 years that I've been in the world....how much have I accomplished? Well.... a degree in Neuroscience, scholarship by MARA.....not bad, I suppose?
But I can't help thinking that there are people my age who have accomplished much more than I have. Most people my age have already starting working for quite a while, they have already gone out to face the real world. As for me? Still stuck in my comfortable little cacoon. :p
Oh well, I shouldn't complain. Anyways, the student years are the best years of your life, they say. I just get impatient once in a while, and feel like I'm stuck in this student phase of my life like forever. But like one friend said, I should enjoy and cherish every moment and every phase of my life.

My birthday this year was simple and lowkey, but filled with warmth, love and blessings. My mum and uncle David were in KL for the day before flying off to Paris. So we had lunch at McD's (my request:p ) At night, 8 of us (me, my housemates, Chong Bing, Wen Chong, Sandy and Edwina) went to a restaurant opposite of the Store. Oh...and the night before, my housemates did our birthday tradition of holding a midnight surprise....

I received quite a number of gifts this year.....a brand new digital camera (from mum), an external disc drive (from uncle David), a photo frame (from Tze Wei), a dairy (Tze Chien), a box of chocolates (from Pam), a necklace (from Lynn Xuan), a box set of Pastor Kong's sermon series (from friends) and a daily devotional book (from cellgroup). I love all the gifts! :)
Plus the numerous birthday greetings I received in person, via cards, via text message and online via Facebook. Yes, I do feel blessed :) And encouraging messages are the best gifts ever, they really make your day :p So thanks so much, everyone!!

My birthday wish is that God would (continue to) use me to be the salt and light and inspiration to everyone around me, and to be able to serve Him in more ways.

p.s. Our Izzi broadband suscription has expired, so I'm typing this entry using the library computers. Luckily they have much more computers in uni now compared to before. Also, I wanted to upload more birthday photos onto Facebook, but couldn't because no connection at home.

p.p.s Two more days- to Cheerleading! Go Stallions!!

Busy life....

2008-09-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

More than a week of the MSK (musculoskeletal) system has passed, and I barely have time to breathe. Ok, ok, I'm exaggerating. What I mean is that I barely have any 'me' time anymore. I've to start to learn how to reorganize and repriotize my time.

Everyday, there is something going on. I just feel busy every single day :p Be it cheerleading practice, an afternoon in Seremban, planning for the Malaysian studies project, doing PBL, catching up with lecture notes, or simply catching up with others...

Cheerleading practice is getting on fine now....I am personally quite pleased with the progress we made. If before this week, our entire dance routine was in a mess, but on Monday, Delia (who replaced Shao Wen as our 'eyes' for that day) made us dance in small groups. And we really went through each step one by one. That was when our dance became more synchronized, and everyone including me became more confident of their dance steps.
So now, we've got the basic flow going, all we need is some fine tuning and we are ready!
I really hope that we can win this.....

I'm under the decoration department for the Malaysian studies project. Have to get some material for the 'ketupat' and gather 'angpows' and some other decorations to be set up for the 3 days that the exhibition is on. (22-24th September). This big project is basically for our Malaysian studies assessment. It involves a lot of work and planning (and money), but personally I still prefer this better than having to sit for an exam. :p Oh...and the funds raised will contribute to our convocation magazine fund.

Yesterday, a big group of us went all the way to Seremban to clerk patients. The patient my group got was really great. He had psoriatic arthritis, which is arthritis plus psoriasis. He must have encountered medical students countless times in his life- because the moment we entered the room, he was telling us to look at his hands, and then telling us his entire medical history in chronological order.
We also got to meet many seniors who are now doing their phase 2 in Seremban. (Was overjoyed to see David and Sue Wen especially). I had so many questions to ask them ,so little time. But from what I gather, phase 2 is very different from phase 1. The doctors/lecturers there expect you to know everything. And they expect you to learn everything by yourself. Independent self-learning. Yup. They have to clerk patients in the morning, lectures in the afternoon.... And if you are doing the Surgery rotation, you would be on call at night....and still have to wake up early in the morning.
That would be my life in less than 6 months time......since I'm going to Seremban....
Scary right?

Oh....I finally got to serve in my City Harvest cell group (even if it's just leading games).
Honestly, having all the IMU students in one cell group is a good idea afterall. :)

Tired....

2008-09-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

Only 1 week into semester 5 and I'm already tired :(

I really hope that I can cope with this.

I know i can. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me :)

faints

2008-09-03T07:23:00.001-07:00

Ok, it's almost 10:30 pm and I've just reached home.

And I left my place at 8 am in the morning.

Welcome to semester 5, Ailing.

Here's my timetable for today. I don't want to bore you with my daily timetable, but just wanted to give you a glimpse into what this semester is like...

8 am-10:15am :- 2 lectures- include one confusing one on MSK development

10:15 am :- queue up to collect selective results

10:30am :- PBL 1- brand new PBL groupmates (my cousin is also in my PBL group, hah :) )
Not brand new faci though, I had CKK before in sem 2.

11:30 am:- down to canteen for early lunch. Loiter around chatting until 12:30pm.

12:30pm :- up to library to do some PBL research

2pm-3:30pm:- CSU session- examination of the shoulder

4pm:- meet with groupmates for GP posting presentation. I was selected to present later, argh! And I had some finishing touches to do for GP posting portfolio

5-6pm:- GP posting debriefing session, presentation and hand up portfolios

6:30 pm - 10pm: cheerleading practice

OMG, *faints*

If this is my schedule everyday, I would die.

We are going to have cheerleading practice almost everyday from now onwards.....until the competition day...

Singapore

2008-09-02T06:12:00.000-07:00

Time to blog about my trip to Singapore...

Went there for a few days, from Wednesday 27th August til Friday 29th August, with mum and Uncle David.

We had some important bank matters to sort out, so the first day there was in the bank

The second day, we walked down Orchard Road, window shopping. We didn't really buy anything, because the stuff there was so costly! No discounts, and try converting the items from Singapore dollars to Malaysian Ringgit- you know what I mean.

We stayed in a hotel in Geylang. For those of you who know what the district Geylang is famous for, I wouldn't elaborate any further. I wasn't the one who did the hotel booking after all :p

Let's just say that I had the very rare opportunity to see with my own eyes a whole different world altogether... as we go down for our night strolls, we could see the entire district come into life (yes, it's the most popular night spot), the people, the houses, we pass by those. Nothing happened of course, but it was an interesting experience altogether.

Anyways, some photos from the Singapore trip....

p.s. Apologies in advance to any Singaporean who might be reading my blog, of course this doesn't depict the Singapore we all know and love

Merdeka!!

2008-08-31T12:40:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 51th year of independence for my country, Malaysia.

We, the younger generation, tend to forget and take for granted all the sacrifices that our ancestors had to make in order for Malaysia to be the peaceful country it is today. All their sweat, toil, blood and tears shed, just so that we can experience the freedom and benefits of living a comfortable and safe life in this multiracial country.

Our forefathers had to battle against colonization- first from the Portugese, then the British , then the Japanese. They also had to face the communists. Those who lived in that era, and still survive to tell their harrowing tales, will tell you how they would defend their beloved country at all costs.
And yet what do we , the younger generation have to battle against? Corrupt politicians, some internal bickering between politicans...and that's it.

Compare to those living in other countries. You hear about natural disasters- hurricanes in the U.S., thypoons in Taiwan, earthquake in Japan and Indonesia, the tsunami in Thailand, war in Iraq, Palestine, Afghanistan......the list goes on.
Malaysia, so far (knock on wood) has almost always been spared from all these disasters.
I do believe that this nation is blessed abundantly by God.

We've come a long way as a nation, and let's continue to propel forward.

Therefore, it's my hope and prayer this National Day that there would be a revival in this country. I pray that God would work through the young generation- all on fire for God and all determined to preach the gospel to the entire nation. I believe that God can work wonders in this country.

God bless Malaysia!

p.s. Just returned from an entire day of Emerge conference. It was tiring but worth it. I wish I have some pictures to show for Emerge, but somehow I was being out of character today- being lazy to snap photos.

p.p.s My trip to Singapore! I forgot to blog about it as well.... Will do so in the next entry....

Grey's Anatomy

2008-08-25T02:25:00.000-07:00

Guess what I've been doing this past week or so?
Yes, catching up on the 'Grey's Anatomy' season 1 and 2 DVDs which I bought last month.

I thought of just watching for fun initially, so that I wouldn't be too bored at home. Furthermore, maybe, just maybe- I might be able to gain some insight into the life of doctors.

And I ended up getting rather caught up in the series! See, that's the reason why I am very cautious about starting to watch a programme, I might get absorbed into it....

I think Grey's does indeed do a good job in showcasing the life of a doctor. Of course being just a TV show, some aspects of it might be exaggerated. But I think the producers have got the gist of it.I love the fact that the show balances the screen time between patients and the doctors themselves. Every episode, there would be patients being admitted into the Seattle Grace hospital with interesting cases.
Among the most memorable patients are Dorrie who had quintruplets, one patient who couldn't handle the prospect of not being allowed to drink water and gulped water from the toilet bowl, a male patient who claimed that he was pregnant, but it turned out to be a huge teratoma ( I guessed this correctly, yay me!).

And we also gain some insight into the private lives and relationships of the doctors working in the hospital. Of course, the main characters of the show, Meredith Grey and Derek Shepard- you just have to root for them to be together. I recall, one of the most defining moments of season 1 was when Dr. Shepard's wife, Addison Shepard, appeared in the hospital. That's when Meredith's life went downhill... I was rooting for Alex and Izzie to be together..... but apparently he was not good enough for her? Was bummed when George and Meredith didn't work out together....

I actually like all the characters- Cristina is smart, funny, hardworking and driven although she had a horrible bedside manner and can be an emotionless person. Izzie on the other hand, tends to get too attached to her patients (read: Denny), but has a kind heart. George....I just love him, he reminds me the most about myself. Alex- I hated him in the beginning, but quite like him in season 2. Meredith- I don't know....with her moaning about losing her Mr McDreamy, and her one night stands.... :p But I like the way she treats her patients.

The episode I most remember is 'It's The End of the World'- the episode whereby there was a bomb inside a patient's chest cavity. And of course, Meredith had to get herself into trouble by being the one with her hand on the bomb. What an intense episode, with so many things going on at once! Then there is the Thanksgiving episode which reminds us that these doctors simply cannot live outside of the hospital.....

Ok, enough rambling about my newfound favourite show....

Some people have been telling me to watch 'House' instead....but I don't want to get hooked up to yet another show!

The main characters of the show...renowned neurosurgeon Dr. Derek Shepard (Patrick Dempsey) and intern turned Resident, Dr. Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo)

Silver is better than nothing....

2008-08-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, I did watch the gold medal match of the men's badmintons singles in Beijing.

And yes, like all other Malaysians, I was fully backing Lee Chong Wei, Malaysia's current hero, to win the first ever gold medal for Malaysia.

And yes, I was truly disappointed, when we didn't get the gold the entire nation had always been yearning for.

And I have to admit....I was rather frustrated with the way he played that night. I thought he was holding back on his smashes and he lacked all the energy and passion which he exhibited in the semifinals match. Maybe the fact that the hopes and eyes of the entire nation were on him....(he was Malaysia's only hope for a gold or even a medal) caused him to crack under pressure. Or maybe Lin Dan was just too good a competitor for him.

Anyways, Chong Wei still gave his best and gave Malaysia her first silver medal. :)

The long lost siblings

2008-08-16T06:50:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you a secret.....

I have an elder half brother. His name is Khai Azizi. I can't remember when was the last time I saw him. I think it was almost 10 years ago.

Well, we share the same surname. And we have the same baby face. And we are both on the plump side. Maybe all these we inherited from our father. We have different mothers though. (his mother is from our father's first marriage).

Anyways, he searched my name on Facebook earlier on this year, and found my Facebook profile. He sent me a friend request. I added him without giving a second thought, thinking that it was just a random stranger. He started sending me many application requests, but I ignored them all.

Until one day, it suddenly struck me....the name seemed familiar. Could it be....no it can't be , can it? So I personal messaged him on Facebook. And yes, it turned out to be my brother.

So after exchanging a few more messages and SMSes, he invited me to meet up with him on Thursday night.

As I arrived at the cafe earlier, I waited nervously for him. Finally a guy with specs came up to me and extended his hand. He could still recognize me. But I couldn't recognize him at all.

Oh, and his girlfriend was with him as well.

So we sat down for a good chat and I got to know both of them. Khai is now working as a Senior Engineer. He got his first degree in the UK.

Later on in the night, after he sent me home, I invited him to meet my mum.

Anyways, it felt really good to be able to meet up with my brother. Even though we are just half siblings, but we do share the same blood and genes in us. Maybe next time we can look out for each other, like what siblings do.

You know how a lot of TV shows have all this long-lost half sibling stories going on? (Read...'Lost' with Jack and Claire, 'Grey's Anatomy' with Meredith and Lexie...the list goes on).

Well, mine is real :)

Game Point

2008-08-13T07:53:00.001-07:00

This evening....as I was tuned in to the TV while doing my daily exercise....I managed to catch the exciting part of a woman's singles badminton match. (for the Olympics)

The thing that caught my attention was the fact that one of the two women battling it out in the badminton court was Malaysian.

She was Wong Mew Choo, and her opponent was Lu Lan from China.

Of course, being truly Malaysian, I just had to give my full support to Miss Wong.

Apparently, Lu Lan had won the first set easily. They were now in the second set.

Not long after I tuned in, Mew Choo managed to make it to game point, with Lu Lan just a few points behind her. Just one more point to score, to force Lu Lan into a rubber game. Not that hard right?

But guess what... of course Lu Lan just had to snatch back the service. And equalized. Game point has been moved from 21 to 23. Then Mew Choo snatched back service again, and scored another point. Game point again for her, But before she could score game point the service went back again to Lu Lan, who again equalized. Game point moved again from 23 to 25. But Mew Choo, being the fighter she was, again got back the service and equalized too. This went on for so many times, me and my maid were almost screaming at the TV. I was feeling soo nervous for our Malaysian shuttler. The atmosphere in the stadium itself must have been electrifying!
Both women just refused to give up, but both couldn't seem to capitalize on the game point. Mew Choo had game point for 9 times, Lu Lan 4.

Until they reached the score of 26-26.
Mew Choo, who had game point, again failed to convert it to a score. Finally, Lu Lan snatched back the service and went on to score two more points and win the match and proceed to the semifinals.

It was the most intense and nervewracking badminton match I had ever watched!
Although she had to bow out of the competition, our Malaysian shuttler had shown the true spirit of 'Malaysia Boleh'- never give up till the fat lady sings.

p.s. I have been following my favourite events, namely Gymnastics, swimming and diving.

Wong Mew Choo reaches for a shot during her women's singles quarter-final badminton match against Lu Lan of China at the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games

Lu Lan of China celebrates winning her women's singles quarter-final badminton match against Wong Mew Choo of Malaysia at the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games.

Let the Games begin!!

2008-08-10T07:01:00.000-07:00

For the next 3 weeks or so, the eyes of the entire world would be focused on one particular city, Beijing, China. The venue for the 2008 Summer Olympic Games.

The Olympics, the time when people all over the world are gathered together in unity for one single vision....to go for gold.

Tears of joy, tears of glory and triumph being shed as the national anthems of various countries will be played in various sports venues.

At the same time, some tears of sorrow and disappointment will also be shed.

Records, both olympic and world, waiting to be broken.

204 countries taking part. Thousands of atheletes. Hundreds of medals- gold, silver and bronze to be given away.

Let the Games Begin!!

Men vs women

2008-08-07T12:24:00.000-07:00

Men are created to have dominion , to have work, and to have success.
Competency, efficiency and usefulness are a big thing to men.
A man's sense of self worth is defined through his ability to achieve results.

A man is project based but a woman is feeling based.
By nature, a woman values love, beauty, relationships.
A woman's life is about sharing of emotions and feelings.

A man's principle: If it ain't broken, don't touch it!
A woman's prinicple: Let's make things better!

Men are motivated and empowered when they are needed and when their expertise is required.
Women are motivated and empowered when they are loved and cherished.

Men want respect, and women want appreciation.

When encountered with a problem or tough situation, men need to retreat into their 'caves'.
Women on the other hand, need to talk and have someone to listen to their problems.

Women forgive in installments, men forgive in whole.

extracted from 'The Relationship series' sermons by Pastor Kevin Loo, founder of City Harvest Church Malaysia.

p.s. Readers, tell me how much you agree to all these statements. I actually find them all to be quite true indeed. I realize that I do have all the characteristics of a woman :)

It's amazing....

2008-08-03T09:33:00.001-07:00

Some things never fail to amaze me....

a) How so many young people do not mind queuing up for at least one hour and squeezing with the crowd.....to attend ....a Christian concert! I was really amazed tonight by the HUGE crowd of young people that queued up to attend the Passion conference cum concert at the Sunway Convention Centre today. So many young people in this country so in fire and having so much passion for Christ. Young university students jumping up and down and raising their hands loudly proclaiming their faith and love for the Lord and acknowledging How Great Is Our God. Cheering when they hear the Word of God. This is living proof that God is real and is working in the lives of people around the world daily. Young people , a whole new generation from all around the world declaring their love for Jesus. Praise the Lord!!

Chris Tomlin and Charlie Hall leading a praise and worship session which was nothing short of amazing. Louie Giglio reminding us once again about God's grace and love for us.

The thing that touched me the most out of the entire event was when Louie read out the diary of Ashley, a 22 year old university student in Florida, USA. She was just an ordinary party type girl in one of the top 10 party universities in the country. And she thought that Christians were weirdos. Until one fine day, God sent a 'weirdo' named Krista to live with her. And Krista wasn't like other Christians, according to Ashley. She was kind to her and accepted her as she was. Krista patiently explained to Ashley that God was for everyone, and that God loves every single person, no matter what their faults are. Ashley began wondering whether God could really love a messed up person like her.

Until one day, they both watched a sermon by Louie Giglio together. Something touched Ashley's heart. Could God really love a messed up person like her?
She accepted Jesus into her life. All this happened within 3 weeks.

3 months later, she died in a car accident. But her short life hasn't gone completely to waste. She has found her salvation. Ashley's parents decided to let Louie have Ashley's journal.

God works in ways we cannot comprehend.

b) How God loves such a small and insignificant person like me, who has so many weaknesses,
and wants to use me to do great works for Him.

Just look at the huge crowd in the background!

Back from kkb

2008-07-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hey guys and girls,

I'm back from KKB, short for Kuala Kubu Baru. You see, it is part of our Rotation Posting.

I find it good training to be posted to such a rural area at this early stage of our medical studies. It helps prepare us both mentally and physically for what we would go through when we are being posted to rural areas when we become Medical Officers in the future.

It was nothing short of interesting.......

What do you want me to talk about....the good side or the bad side of kkb?

Oklah....I'll give you the good first ;)

1) We witness a delivery!! Well, several actually, but we girls actually were there for an entire delivery process on Sunday night. It was enthusiasm on our part too, changing to our lab coats right after dinner and walking back to the hospital wards, waiting outside Ward 5, and pestering the nurses there every once in a while :p It looked like such a painful process!! The mother was letting out intermittent screams of pain. She was in the second stage of labor and the two nurses (maybe one midwife?) was encouraging her to push. It is...amazing how huge a vaginal hole can be during delivery....
The placental delivery is the most gross part. So much blood involved, so messy.
The most painful part seemed to be when the nurse was stitching up the episotomy wound. The mother was wincing in pain.
The baby, a boy, just couldn't stop crying from the moment he was born until we finally left the ward actually the entire procedure.

2) Learning stuff
Ok, not the most interesting thing, but that is the main reason we went there anyways. To clerk patients......taking their proper history and performing physical examination on them. I was paired up with Jon, which was great :) We worked well together as a team. Today Dr. Lim (whom I like) went through some physical examination with us as well.

3) Food
The food in kkb isn't bad at all. (excluding lunch in the hospital canteen, hahah). We went to 98 restaurant during the 1st and 3rd night, and visited the Pasar Malam on Tuesday night. So much delicious food on sale! :p

4) Friends
Last but not least, the group of people you are stuck in kkb with :p They make the stay much more tolerable. My 7 roommates- Alicia Sii, Doreen, Sandy, Vivien, Pei Chii and Sara Teh.....it's great being in a room with them :)
The late night snacks, movies (since Pei Chii, Doreen and I brought our laptops), the chatting, Sandy singing song from 'A Walk to Remember' over and over again while counting down the no. of days left till we leave kkb....... Getting to know Sara and Doreen and Pei Chii and the Malay and Indian girls better.....
The surprise birthday party for Lameena.
And thanks Doreen for letting me place my laptop at the boot of your car all the time! :p

And the bad....

a) Insects:- mosquitoes, creepy crawlies everywhere

b) Cold showers

c) Dirty toilets- one of my biggest pet peeves, I've to admit. I take toilet hygiene very seriously!

d) The nurses.....they are not the friendliest bunch, mostly just ignoring us medical students.
Oh well....guess they are too busy with their daily work....

KKB
sweet and sour pork
chicken and tofu
More food!
Group photo- urrghhh why so blur?! :/
Me and Lameena
the nurses's hostel

an adorable newborn baby girl

GP posting

2008-07-23T02:08:00.000-07:00

Now for some updates about what has been going on recently in my life.....

Last Friday....completed Literature selectives....handed in individual and paired portfolios. (I would like to take this opportunity to thank Lynn Xuan- don't know how I would have done for the paired portfolio if not for her).
The group video presentation on Friday went on well. (I wasn't prepared to talk in front of the audience though- it was a last minute offer on my part). But yeah....Lenster and Mervin especially did a very good job with editing the video. (I know next to nil about editing so I couldn't help much). I really enjoyed watching the other groups presentations as well. I think every group deserves a pat on the back for a job well done.
I don't regret at all chosing Literature as a selective...I really enjoyed the course =)

This week from Monday to Friday, I am having GP posting here in my hometown Kuching. I am attached to Dr. Kang, a very experienced General Practioner here. I remember quickly writing my name down for his clinic the day the GP list was circulated, because he was the only GP from Kuching listed there!
Initially, I didn't even plan on coming back here to Kuching. I didn't want to come back for one week just for GP posting, return back to KL for 2 weeks, and come back to Kuching for another 3 weeks before returning back to KL for the start of semester 5. But I couldn't find a partner to pair up with over there.....and transport is a huge problem. So to solve all matters, I booked a flight back here.
Dr.Kang turns out to be a very nice doctor. He has been practising for about 40 years now. He graduated from Birmingham University and has worked in the UK for quite a bit before returning back to Malaysia. He seems very experienced in dealing with not only patients, but also medical students. He taught me and explained to me a lot of things. When he is performing a procedure on a patient, he would explain in detail to me what exactly he is doing. And he let me take history from some patients. I got to observe rectal examination, haemorroid ligation, taking blood, abdominal examinations, breast examination, ear, throat and mouth examination, and more.
Today he discussed with me about the topic hypertension, which he asked me to read up on yesterday. Tomorrow we will be discussing about diabetes. :p
He told me stories about his experience as a doctor.
The best thing is the he is a Christian as well....so we had even more things to discuss about.

There are 4 nurses working for me...including one older male nurse. They all had been working in this clinic for more than 20 years average. This amazes me how dedicated they are to the doctor! They are all very friendly as well, talking to me and making me feel at home in the clinic. (and even making me the occasional cup of coffee!) And the male nurse especially....he lets me take the blood pressure of the patients and interview them after that.

So yeah....that's about it for now...I have 2 more days of GP posting left. Then it's off to KKB (Kuala Kubu Baru) hospital for 3 days and 3 nights next week and then the other rotation activities.

I feel blessed =)

p.s. Ermm.....it has been a bit quiet around here lately, hasn't it? ;)

Why?

2008-07-18T12:25:00.001-07:00

One of the most common questions asked in daily life. Why? Kenapa? Wei shen me? Por que?

Why does this happen to me?

Why do I always score borderline grades? Is it because I don't put in enough effort in my studies? Or is it due to using an ineffective study method? Or is it due to some other reason?

I don't know.

*throws hands up in frustration*

But at least I always pass...

But is it ok to just be happy with a pass result? Hmmm.....

The latest additions to the Jolie-Pitt brood

2008-07-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

If you keep in touch with the latest celebrity news......you would have known that Angeline Jolie just gave birth to twins- a boy and a girl - a few days ago.

The twins bring the Jolie-Pitt brood to 8 in number. And still counting?

You know what? I was just wondering.....when the children grow up.... whether they would continue being one big happy family? Or will the children be divided according to whether they have been adopted or are the biological children?

Maddox (adopted from Cambodia), Zahara (adopted from Ethiopia), Pax (adopted from Vietnam), Shiloh (biological) and now the twins..

I wonder where the next Jolie-Pitt child is going to be from?

p.s. I found my leather shoes today! They were at the Lost and Found.